Our bodies have minds of their own.

With all the massive crap that has been happening to everyone else, both friends and strangers, this really is not the time for me to discuss my own physical pains in a public journal. However, the operative word is journal -- my journal -- and yes, people will read it, but it's their prerogative to say anything. So, in the now-classic "I don't care if you don't like what I write" attitude that I've been cultivating lately:
There is something seriously, badly wrong with my lower back. I did mention a while back that I may have a herniated lumbar disc. But that was sort of brushed off to figure out what the deal was with the genitourinary issues. Those have now been resolved.
I'm not on any oral anticholinergic meds because I seem to have severe reactions to them. The urologist gave me a sample of a skin patch to try. I probably will try it. But considering that I don't have the problems I thought I had, it's probably a moot point. This is why they make those special pads and pantyliners. And the urologist said that my vaginal and pelvic muscles are actually really strong, so it's not really about a spastic bladder (although minor spasticity plus small capacity does contribute). I'll just do Kegel exercises and continue my current three-month test trial of Butterbur, Passionflower, L-Arginine, and that homeopathic remedy for incontinence (Apis, Causticum, Ferrum phos, Kali phos, Natrum mur). Mom suggested that I do that before going back to a prescription; she feels better knowing I'm not taking too many daily prescriptions. If the holistic stuff doesn't work, then I'll figure it out.
(In fact, that last UTI I mentioned had actually been... nothing. The hospital misdiagnosed and mistreated me. Oh, and they never actually did a test for UTI. So they gave me a nasty antibiotic that I did not need which fucked with my intestinal and digestive system for a week or so. It's funny, I took that damn antibiotic for six days before calling my urologist and telling them about the UTI (since I had an appointment in two days anyway), and they checked the hospital records and became very pissed off when it was discovered that no tests were done and an unnecessary medication was prescribed. I still hate Shady Grove hospital. They haven't changed.)
So now I'm back to the possible herniated lumbar disc. And yes, of course I will go to an orthopedist to get it checked out. Unfortunately, if I take off any more time within the next few weeks (besides the dentist and gyno examns at the end of this month), my paycheck will get hit. I'm at negative balance right now for my sick and personal leave. Yes, I know, health is very important, but I want to be able to carefully space out and ration any leave time until my hours are back in the positive. I can live without seeing another doctor for a while. I have methocarbomol, I have ibuprofen, I have valerian, I have what I feel I need. I know which stretches I need to do. However, the fact that the pain -- the sciatica, the alternating burning, throbbing, sharpness, and numbness down to the right foot -- is chronic is something that must be addressed. I can't do much for other people if I'm not doing well myself. Most people I know can push themselves and ignore the pain and keep going and keep going, and so can I to an extent, but as Adam is fond of saying, I am small, I am wee, I am tiny, I just do not have the strength and capacity that he has. I can tell myself all I want that I can keep going, but if I'm falling over every five minutes, I need to listen to my body.
Many of us ignore our pain because our lives and the world around us won't allow us to lay down and rest, until something knocks us down so hard that we have no choice but to lay there and rest and heal. And then we must recover as soon as possible because the world just won't wait. We do create our own problems, and they all overlapp and they all mix and become each other's problems. We help each other because we can.
Adam loves me and hates to see me in pain. There's not much he can do in this case, except help massage and stretch my leg and hold me and love me. Right now, that's all I need.
Hetsy once told me that the body can take care of itself seventy-five percent of the time. But there is still a rather large twenty-five percent that needs external help, medical help. And so we take care of that in the ways that we can. Many people are turning to alternative, holistic methods to supplement traditional Western therapy, because yes, it does help. Meditation and yoga are no longer considered "hippie, freaky New Age bullshit." It's been proven that proper meditation can be a potent reliever of pain and illness. My own doctor told me to try it. I like how these things are becoming so mainstream.
Something I have noticed when reading LiveJournals: The things people reveal about themselves almost always apply to a huge percent of readers. The things I just wrote about can apply to anyone going through any kind of physical pain.
I enjoy reading LiveJournal because I meet people with fascinating insights. Sometimes someone can change your perspective with a few simple words, not even directed at you.

Our bodies have minds of their own.

With all the massive crap that has been happening to everyone else, both friends and strangers, this really is not the time for me to discuss my own physical pains in a public journal. However, the operative word is journal -- my journal -- and yes, people will read it, but it's their prerogative to say anything. So, in the now-classic "I don't care if you don't like what I write" attitude that I've been cultivating lately:
There is something seriously, badly wrong with my lower back. I did mention a while back that I may have a herniated lumbar disc. But that was sort of brushed off to figure out what the deal was with the genitourinary issues. Those have now been resolved.
I'm not on any oral anticholinergic meds because I seem to have severe reactions to them. The urologist gave me a sample of a skin patch to try. I probably will try it. But considering that I don't have the problems I thought I had, it's probably a moot point. This is why they make those special pads and pantyliners. And the urologist said that my vaginal and pelvic muscles are actually really strong, so it's not really about a spastic bladder (although minor spasticity plus small capacity does contribute). I'll just do Kegel exercises and continue my current three-month test trial of Butterbur, Passionflower, L-Arginine, and that homeopathic remedy for incontinence (Apis, Causticum, Ferrum phos, Kali phos, Natrum mur). Mom suggested that I do that before going back to a prescription; she feels better knowing I'm not taking too many daily prescriptions. If the holistic stuff doesn't work, then I'll figure it out.
(In fact, that last UTI I mentioned had actually been... nothing. The hospital misdiagnosed and mistreated me. Oh, and they never actually did a test for UTI. So they gave me a nasty antibiotic that I did not need which fucked with my intestinal and digestive system for a week or so. It's funny, I took that damn antibiotic for six days before calling my urologist and telling them about the UTI (since I had an appointment in two days anyway), and they checked the hospital records and became very pissed off when it was discovered that no tests were done and an unnecessary medication was prescribed. I still hate Shady Grove hospital. They haven't changed.)
So now I'm back to the possible herniated lumbar disc. And yes, of course I will go to an orthopedist to get it checked out. Unfortunately, if I take off any more time within the next few weeks (besides the dentist and gyno examns at the end of this month), my paycheck will get hit. I'm at negative balance right now for my sick and personal leave. Yes, I know, health is very important, but I want to be able to carefully space out and ration any leave time until my hours are back in the positive. I can live without seeing another doctor for a while. I have methocarbomol, I have ibuprofen, I have valerian, I have what I feel I need. I know which stretches I need to do. However, the fact that the pain -- the sciatica, the alternating burning, throbbing, sharpness, and numbness down to the right foot -- is chronic is something that must be addressed. I can't do much for other people if I'm not doing well myself. Most people I know can push themselves and ignore the pain and keep going and keep going, and so can I to an extent, but as Adam is fond of saying, I am small, I am wee, I am tiny, I just do not have the strength and capacity that he has. I can tell myself all I want that I can keep going, but if I'm falling over every five minutes, I need to listen to my body.
Many of us ignore our pain because our lives and the world around us won't allow us to lay down and rest, until something knocks us down so hard that we have no choice but to lay there and rest and heal. And then we must recover as soon as possible because the world just won't wait. We do create our own problems, and they all overlapp and they all mix and become each other's problems. We help each other because we can.
Adam loves me and hates to see me in pain. There's not much he can do in this case, except help massage and stretch my leg and hold me and love me. Right now, that's all I need.
Hetsy once told me that the body can take care of itself seventy-five percent of the time. But there is still a rather large twenty-five percent that needs external help, medical help. And so we take care of that in the ways that we can. Many people are turning to alternative, holistic methods to supplement traditional Western therapy, because yes, it does help. Meditation and yoga are no longer considered "hippie, freaky New Age bullshit." It's been proven that proper meditation can be a potent reliever of pain and illness. My own doctor told me to try it. I like how these things are becoming so mainstream.
Something I have noticed when reading LiveJournals: The things people reveal about themselves almost always apply to a huge percent of readers. The things I just wrote about can apply to anyone going through any kind of physical pain.
I enjoy reading LiveJournal because I meet people with fascinating insights. Sometimes someone can change your perspective with a few simple words, not even directed at you.