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What Cat said
Jan. 19th, 2006 08:32 amI just wanted to take a moment and reflect on a comment that a dear friend just made in my last post:
"Wonder Woman: You have always had the grace of a pristine river and the steel balls of a mechanical bull, I always remember you that way."
I don't know why, Cat, but that statement has had more of an impact on me than many I have heard recently. Maybe it's just because I don't really see myself that often the way other people do. Maybe it's because it reminds me so much of what has always been true.
So, thank you.
That is all.
Side note: My mother is taking this epilepsy diagnosis much much harder than I thought. She started crying as we hung up the phone; I heard it in her goodbye. She blames herself, I know that. She still blames herself for being unable to carry me to full term (incontinent cervix), for the child she lost before me, for the cerebral palsy and damage that had been done to my brain after my newborn lungs collapsed. She blames herself because when I was a child I actually would have absence seizures and sometimes simple partial seizures; and we all assumed I was just being a strange child. No one thought it was strange that I'd stare into space suddenly for a few seconds, unresponsive, or that I'd complain of strange feelings, sounds, smells, emotions. I think this will be hurting her for a while, and I am sorry for that. She has tried so hard to protect me and help me for twenty-six years and she suddenly realizes that her baby girl has had more problems than she had thought and she feels helpless.
I'm sorry, Mom. But I'm okay. I really am. Like Cat said, steel balls.
I am a Steel Magnolia.
"Wonder Woman: You have always had the grace of a pristine river and the steel balls of a mechanical bull, I always remember you that way."
I don't know why, Cat, but that statement has had more of an impact on me than many I have heard recently. Maybe it's just because I don't really see myself that often the way other people do. Maybe it's because it reminds me so much of what has always been true.
So, thank you.
That is all.
Side note: My mother is taking this epilepsy diagnosis much much harder than I thought. She started crying as we hung up the phone; I heard it in her goodbye. She blames herself, I know that. She still blames herself for being unable to carry me to full term (incontinent cervix), for the child she lost before me, for the cerebral palsy and damage that had been done to my brain after my newborn lungs collapsed. She blames herself because when I was a child I actually would have absence seizures and sometimes simple partial seizures; and we all assumed I was just being a strange child. No one thought it was strange that I'd stare into space suddenly for a few seconds, unresponsive, or that I'd complain of strange feelings, sounds, smells, emotions. I think this will be hurting her for a while, and I am sorry for that. She has tried so hard to protect me and help me for twenty-six years and she suddenly realizes that her baby girl has had more problems than she had thought and she feels helpless.
I'm sorry, Mom. But I'm okay. I really am. Like Cat said, steel balls.
I am a Steel Magnolia.
