silver linings

The bad news: I had to go home due to difficult aftereffects and recovery from a particularly vicious seizure last night.
The good news: Adam is happy I am home, because he can spend more time with me.

It was the sex that did it. I was overstimulated a bit too much and let it happen. He is truthfully an exquisite lover and can bring me to orgasm very quickly. It also helps that I am naturally very easy to please, I experience multiple orgasms all the time, and I can climax through G-spot stimulation every single time we have intercourse, which many women are physically unable to do.
I got carried away. Afterwards I couldn't move at all. My left leg went numb and dead, and my right leg began shaking. That started it. I tried to get off the bed and collapsed. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't respond to anything. Adam pulled me up, like a doll, and started massaging my left hand, my arm, my neck, my shoulders. I didn't respond at all until he pressed extremely hard into my left palm, and all I said was "Ow." After this is where things go blank. I don't remember him talking to me, but I do remember him slapping my face to wake me up. I remember muttering something incoherent. Then nothing. Then Adam talking again, telling me to come back. In the meantime, my mind was empty and things were rushing in, as nature abhors a vacuum. My physical body was dissolving and becoming mist. My eyes were closed. I saw flashing colors, every color in the spectrum and some I could not identify. They flew by in ribbons and waves and rainbows. I knew something was happening in the real world, but I was not there and could not respond. Finally, it all stopped. I was curled up with my head on my pillow, facing Adam. We started talking about what happened. A simple partial crept up my spine and delivered a blow to my brain. My lungs spasmed and I thought I would slip away again. I struggled to keep myself in this reality, and it stopped. Adam said, "Just tell me what I need to do next time." I went to sleep.
I woke up and got ready for work, got to work, and the fatigue and aftermath hit me too hard, after running simple morning errands. At ten, my boss told me to go home and rest.
Adam took me to Safeway to get a sandwich and to get a few groceries. After I eat my tuna salad sandwich on hard Italian bread, I will lie down and take a nap. I told him what he should do: Don't ask questions, don't ask if I'm okay. Hold me and talk to me and convince me to come back.

I would also like to add that there is still a glaring difference between a partial seizure and a panic attack. When I have a panic attack, I feel as though I may have a heart attack, I feel terrified and paranoid and I cannot breathe. When I have a partial seizure, I feel as though my entire self is dissolving and disappearing into another dimension. There may be ego death, of a sort. I do not feel like I am going to die. I do not feel like my heart is pounding, I do not have chest pain, I do not have difficulty breathing, I do not feel terror. I do not feel as if I will lose control. These are hallmarks of panic, not always seizures.
Seizures and panic attacks have very similar symptoms, I understand this. But I may snap at the next person who asks me if my seizure was a panic attack. I think I should know by now.

How is your day so far?

silver linings

The bad news: I had to go home due to difficult aftereffects and recovery from a particularly vicious seizure last night.
The good news: Adam is happy I am home, because he can spend more time with me.

It was the sex that did it. I was overstimulated a bit too much and let it happen. He is truthfully an exquisite lover and can bring me to orgasm very quickly. It also helps that I am naturally very easy to please, I experience multiple orgasms all the time, and I can climax through G-spot stimulation every single time we have intercourse, which many women are physically unable to do.
I got carried away. Afterwards I couldn't move at all. My left leg went numb and dead, and my right leg began shaking. That started it. I tried to get off the bed and collapsed. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't respond to anything. Adam pulled me up, like a doll, and started massaging my left hand, my arm, my neck, my shoulders. I didn't respond at all until he pressed extremely hard into my left palm, and all I said was "Ow." After this is where things go blank. I don't remember him talking to me, but I do remember him slapping my face to wake me up. I remember muttering something incoherent. Then nothing. Then Adam talking again, telling me to come back. In the meantime, my mind was empty and things were rushing in, as nature abhors a vacuum. My physical body was dissolving and becoming mist. My eyes were closed. I saw flashing colors, every color in the spectrum and some I could not identify. They flew by in ribbons and waves and rainbows. I knew something was happening in the real world, but I was not there and could not respond. Finally, it all stopped. I was curled up with my head on my pillow, facing Adam. We started talking about what happened. A simple partial crept up my spine and delivered a blow to my brain. My lungs spasmed and I thought I would slip away again. I struggled to keep myself in this reality, and it stopped. Adam said, "Just tell me what I need to do next time." I went to sleep.
I woke up and got ready for work, got to work, and the fatigue and aftermath hit me too hard, after running simple morning errands. At ten, my boss told me to go home and rest.
Adam took me to Safeway to get a sandwich and to get a few groceries. After I eat my tuna salad sandwich on hard Italian bread, I will lie down and take a nap. I told him what he should do: Don't ask questions, don't ask if I'm okay. Hold me and talk to me and convince me to come back.

I would also like to add that there is still a glaring difference between a partial seizure and a panic attack. When I have a panic attack, I feel as though I may have a heart attack, I feel terrified and paranoid and I cannot breathe. When I have a partial seizure, I feel as though my entire self is dissolving and disappearing into another dimension. There may be ego death, of a sort. I do not feel like I am going to die. I do not feel like my heart is pounding, I do not have chest pain, I do not have difficulty breathing, I do not feel terror. I do not feel as if I will lose control. These are hallmarks of panic, not always seizures.
Seizures and panic attacks have very similar symptoms, I understand this. But I may snap at the next person who asks me if my seizure was a panic attack. I think I should know by now.

How is your day so far?

silver linings

The bad news: I had to go home due to difficult aftereffects and recovery from a particularly vicious seizure last night.
The good news: Adam is happy I am home, because he can spend more time with me.

It was the sex that did it. I was overstimulated a bit too much and let it happen. He is truthfully an exquisite lover and can bring me to orgasm very quickly. It also helps that I am naturally very easy to please, I experience multiple orgasms all the time, and I can climax through G-spot stimulation every single time we have intercourse, which many women are physically unable to do.
I got carried away. Afterwards I couldn't move at all. My left leg went numb and dead, and my right leg began shaking. That started it. I tried to get off the bed and collapsed. I couldn't move, I couldn't speak, I couldn't respond to anything. Adam pulled me up, like a doll, and started massaging my left hand, my arm, my neck, my shoulders. I didn't respond at all until he pressed extremely hard into my left palm, and all I said was "Ow." After this is where things go blank. I don't remember him talking to me, but I do remember him slapping my face to wake me up. I remember muttering something incoherent. Then nothing. Then Adam talking again, telling me to come back. In the meantime, my mind was empty and things were rushing in, as nature abhors a vacuum. My physical body was dissolving and becoming mist. My eyes were closed. I saw flashing colors, every color in the spectrum and some I could not identify. They flew by in ribbons and waves and rainbows. I knew something was happening in the real world, but I was not there and could not respond. Finally, it all stopped. I was curled up with my head on my pillow, facing Adam. We started talking about what happened. A simple partial crept up my spine and delivered a blow to my brain. My lungs spasmed and I thought I would slip away again. I struggled to keep myself in this reality, and it stopped. Adam said, "Just tell me what I need to do next time." I went to sleep.
I woke up and got ready for work, got to work, and the fatigue and aftermath hit me too hard, after running simple morning errands. At ten, my boss told me to go home and rest.
Adam took me to Safeway to get a sandwich and to get a few groceries. After I eat my tuna salad sandwich on hard Italian bread, I will lie down and take a nap. I told him what he should do: Don't ask questions, don't ask if I'm okay. Hold me and talk to me and convince me to come back.

I would also like to add that there is still a glaring difference between a partial seizure and a panic attack. When I have a panic attack, I feel as though I may have a heart attack, I feel terrified and paranoid and I cannot breathe. When I have a partial seizure, I feel as though my entire self is dissolving and disappearing into another dimension. There may be ego death, of a sort. I do not feel like I am going to die. I do not feel like my heart is pounding, I do not have chest pain, I do not have difficulty breathing, I do not feel terror. I do not feel as if I will lose control. These are hallmarks of panic, not always seizures.
Seizures and panic attacks have very similar symptoms, I understand this. But I may snap at the next person who asks me if my seizure was a panic attack. I think I should know by now.

How is your day so far?

TMNT

I saw it, finally. I hardly ever see a movie on opening weekend. Especially not one geared towards kids. I get twitchy being in a theater full of kids, don't ask why.
I am, as they say, a hardcore TMNT fan. Not as intense as some, but I will still squeal in delight when I see anything at all mentioning them. I will collect TMNT stuff and I really want a TMNT t-shirt and TMNT pajamas. And I even have a fanfic that I seriously need to finish; it's been years. *waves to Renet, whose website hosts said fic*

The movie needs to win an award based on visuals and animation alone -- the CGI was that good. The skin on the Turtles, the eyes, the expressions, the backgrounds, the landscapes. The way rain and light and shadows played on muscles. It was incredibly beautiful and I would watch it all over and over for those things alone.
The best visual scene, probably, is the fight between Leonardo and Raphael on the rooftop. Most fans talk about that scene a lot. They're right -- it's fantastic. All the battle scenes are lovely, pounding, and deep, but with that particular scene you can see and feel the intense, built-up sibling rivalry literally explode. And anyone who has followed the original comics canon, the first three movies, and the FoxBox animated cartoon, knows full well that a battle between those two brothers has been waiting.
However... it was not my favorite scene. My favorite scene had to be in the diner, where Raphael investigates the "disturbance" and finds the tiny gremlin-like monster raiding the diner kitchen and pantry for food. This, for several reasons. One, the diner cook is voiced by Kevin Smith (yes, that Kevin Smith), whose frantic ramblings are brilliant and makes me wonder if he ad-libbed anything. Two, the monster is freakishly adorable and I want it in plushie form. Three, the way Raph attempts to chat up the little thing had me howling ("Awww, look at you, ain't you cute! You wanna bucket there, lil fella? Yes you do, yes you do! Come on! I'm gonna dropkick you to hurty-town! C'mon, little guy...oww!"). Four, the music to that battle scene was set to was, of all songs, "Black Betty." Considering what the song is actually about, I have no idea why it would be chosen to contribute to the soundtrack of a kids' movie like this, but, hey, it's catchy.
Really, the only issues I had were that none of the humans looked at all physically realistic. April was a stick figure with a bobble-head. Casey looked like a toothpick. I know, I know, it's a cartoon. But it doesn't fit with my idea of the characters, so I had a hard time with it. However: Patrick Stewart? Oh, I bet he had fun. I still wish Michaelangelo's character would have shown more empathy and intelligence and less... bouncy brainless teenager attitude. I guess the only place I'll really get that is in the original comics and good fanfiction. This movie is less about deep character development and more about action fringed with plot. Which is fine in itself. We have the Mirage comics and FoxBox cartoon show for character development.
Overall? Yeah, I'd see it again, I'd absolutely buy the DVD, and if I had an XBox 360 I would get the game. A lot of it is hopelessly cheesy and corny. But hell, it's supposed to be. You think giant mutant turtles from a comic book are supposed to be taken in all literary seriousness? Don't answer that.

TMNT

I saw it, finally. I hardly ever see a movie on opening weekend. Especially not one geared towards kids. I get twitchy being in a theater full of kids, don't ask why.
I am, as they say, a hardcore TMNT fan. Not as intense as some, but I will still squeal in delight when I see anything at all mentioning them. I will collect TMNT stuff and I really want a TMNT t-shirt and TMNT pajamas. And I even have a fanfic that I seriously need to finish; it's been years. *waves to Renet, whose website hosts said fic*

The movie needs to win an award based on visuals and animation alone -- the CGI was that good. The skin on the Turtles, the eyes, the expressions, the backgrounds, the landscapes. The way rain and light and shadows played on muscles. It was incredibly beautiful and I would watch it all over and over for those things alone.
The best visual scene, probably, is the fight between Leonardo and Raphael on the rooftop. Most fans talk about that scene a lot. They're right -- it's fantastic. All the battle scenes are lovely, pounding, and deep, but with that particular scene you can see and feel the intense, built-up sibling rivalry literally explode. And anyone who has followed the original comics canon, the first three movies, and the FoxBox animated cartoon, knows full well that a battle between those two brothers has been waiting.
However... it was not my favorite scene. My favorite scene had to be in the diner, where Raphael investigates the "disturbance" and finds the tiny gremlin-like monster raiding the diner kitchen and pantry for food. This, for several reasons. One, the diner cook is voiced by Kevin Smith (yes, that Kevin Smith), whose frantic ramblings are brilliant and makes me wonder if he ad-libbed anything. Two, the monster is freakishly adorable and I want it in plushie form. Three, the way Raph attempts to chat up the little thing had me howling ("Awww, look at you, ain't you cute! You wanna bucket there, lil fella? Yes you do, yes you do! Come on! I'm gonna dropkick you to hurty-town! C'mon, little guy...oww!"). Four, the music to that battle scene was set to was, of all songs, "Black Betty." Considering what the song is actually about, I have no idea why it would be chosen to contribute to the soundtrack of a kids' movie like this, but, hey, it's catchy.
Really, the only issues I had were that none of the humans looked at all physically realistic. April was a stick figure with a bobble-head. Casey looked like a toothpick. I know, I know, it's a cartoon. But it doesn't fit with my idea of the characters, so I had a hard time with it. However: Patrick Stewart? Oh, I bet he had fun. I still wish Michaelangelo's character would have shown more empathy and intelligence and less... bouncy brainless teenager attitude. I guess the only place I'll really get that is in the original comics and good fanfiction. This movie is less about deep character development and more about action fringed with plot. Which is fine in itself. We have the Mirage comics and FoxBox cartoon show for character development.
Overall? Yeah, I'd see it again, I'd absolutely buy the DVD, and if I had an XBox 360 I would get the game. A lot of it is hopelessly cheesy and corny. But hell, it's supposed to be. You think giant mutant turtles from a comic book are supposed to be taken in all literary seriousness? Don't answer that.

TMNT

I saw it, finally. I hardly ever see a movie on opening weekend. Especially not one geared towards kids. I get twitchy being in a theater full of kids, don't ask why.
I am, as they say, a hardcore TMNT fan. Not as intense as some, but I will still squeal in delight when I see anything at all mentioning them. I will collect TMNT stuff and I really want a TMNT t-shirt and TMNT pajamas. And I even have a fanfic that I seriously need to finish; it's been years. *waves to Renet, whose website hosts said fic*

The movie needs to win an award based on visuals and animation alone -- the CGI was that good. The skin on the Turtles, the eyes, the expressions, the backgrounds, the landscapes. The way rain and light and shadows played on muscles. It was incredibly beautiful and I would watch it all over and over for those things alone.
The best visual scene, probably, is the fight between Leonardo and Raphael on the rooftop. Most fans talk about that scene a lot. They're right -- it's fantastic. All the battle scenes are lovely, pounding, and deep, but with that particular scene you can see and feel the intense, built-up sibling rivalry literally explode. And anyone who has followed the original comics canon, the first three movies, and the FoxBox animated cartoon, knows full well that a battle between those two brothers has been waiting.
However... it was not my favorite scene. My favorite scene had to be in the diner, where Raphael investigates the "disturbance" and finds the tiny gremlin-like monster raiding the diner kitchen and pantry for food. This, for several reasons. One, the diner cook is voiced by Kevin Smith (yes, that Kevin Smith), whose frantic ramblings are brilliant and makes me wonder if he ad-libbed anything. Two, the monster is freakishly adorable and I want it in plushie form. Three, the way Raph attempts to chat up the little thing had me howling ("Awww, look at you, ain't you cute! You wanna bucket there, lil fella? Yes you do, yes you do! Come on! I'm gonna dropkick you to hurty-town! C'mon, little guy...oww!"). Four, the music to that battle scene was set to was, of all songs, "Black Betty." Considering what the song is actually about, I have no idea why it would be chosen to contribute to the soundtrack of a kids' movie like this, but, hey, it's catchy.
Really, the only issues I had were that none of the humans looked at all physically realistic. April was a stick figure with a bobble-head. Casey looked like a toothpick. I know, I know, it's a cartoon. But it doesn't fit with my idea of the characters, so I had a hard time with it. However: Patrick Stewart? Oh, I bet he had fun. I still wish Michaelangelo's character would have shown more empathy and intelligence and less... bouncy brainless teenager attitude. I guess the only place I'll really get that is in the original comics and good fanfiction. This movie is less about deep character development and more about action fringed with plot. Which is fine in itself. We have the Mirage comics and FoxBox cartoon show for character development.
Overall? Yeah, I'd see it again, I'd absolutely buy the DVD, and if I had an XBox 360 I would get the game. A lot of it is hopelessly cheesy and corny. But hell, it's supposed to be. You think giant mutant turtles from a comic book are supposed to be taken in all literary seriousness? Don't answer that.