catamenial seizures

The catamenial seizures have started. Last night's caused a two-hour memory loss. I sat down on my bed at ten to watch "The Tudors" and have no memory until midnight. It is like puzzle pieces, however. I remember two vague things: Standing in the hallway talking to my roommate, and staring at a pair of pants while talking to Adam. I have no clue what the conversations were about. I remember only white noise in my head and an emotion close to depression.
Catamenial seizures are the most painful, because PMS is involved. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Intense reactions to stress. Hormonal flux. They happen often because estrogen is a pro-convulsant. I may have at least one aura, if not actual seizure, every day. I act irrationally, I do things and say things I do not mean that make no sense, and I have no complete memory. The scary part is that I may seem perfectly normal to someone else. I may say or do something strange, but overall you might not even know I am in a seizure unless you know what to look for.
In a catamenial seizure and during recovery over the next full day, I feel worthless, hysterically depressed. I become paranoid. I wonder if people think I am crazy. I feel like I need to apologize for existing.
It is a week before my period. I have two weeks of this. I will be taking more Omega-3, Shatavari, and Bacopa to help.

catamenial seizures

The catamenial seizures have started. Last night's caused a two-hour memory loss. I sat down on my bed at ten to watch "The Tudors" and have no memory until midnight. It is like puzzle pieces, however. I remember two vague things: Standing in the hallway talking to my roommate, and staring at a pair of pants while talking to Adam. I have no clue what the conversations were about. I remember only white noise in my head and an emotion close to depression.
Catamenial seizures are the most painful, because PMS is involved. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Intense reactions to stress. Hormonal flux. They happen often because estrogen is a pro-convulsant. I may have at least one aura, if not actual seizure, every day. I act irrationally, I do things and say things I do not mean that make no sense, and I have no complete memory. The scary part is that I may seem perfectly normal to someone else. I may say or do something strange, but overall you might not even know I am in a seizure unless you know what to look for.
In a catamenial seizure and during recovery over the next full day, I feel worthless, hysterically depressed. I become paranoid. I wonder if people think I am crazy. I feel like I need to apologize for existing.
It is a week before my period. I have two weeks of this. I will be taking more Omega-3, Shatavari, and Bacopa to help.

catamenial seizures

The catamenial seizures have started. Last night's caused a two-hour memory loss. I sat down on my bed at ten to watch "The Tudors" and have no memory until midnight. It is like puzzle pieces, however. I remember two vague things: Standing in the hallway talking to my roommate, and staring at a pair of pants while talking to Adam. I have no clue what the conversations were about. I remember only white noise in my head and an emotion close to depression.
Catamenial seizures are the most painful, because PMS is involved. Physical pain. Emotional pain. Intense reactions to stress. Hormonal flux. They happen often because estrogen is a pro-convulsant. I may have at least one aura, if not actual seizure, every day. I act irrationally, I do things and say things I do not mean that make no sense, and I have no complete memory. The scary part is that I may seem perfectly normal to someone else. I may say or do something strange, but overall you might not even know I am in a seizure unless you know what to look for.
In a catamenial seizure and during recovery over the next full day, I feel worthless, hysterically depressed. I become paranoid. I wonder if people think I am crazy. I feel like I need to apologize for existing.
It is a week before my period. I have two weeks of this. I will be taking more Omega-3, Shatavari, and Bacopa to help.

eyes wide

Oh.
Hell.
The cerebral palsy and unidentifiable chronic pain problem has struck my legs.
Hard.
My quadriceps are so tense they feel like stone. Scratch that: List every single muscle from hips to toes, and those are the ones that hurt. Walking up stairs hurts. Walking down stairs hurts. Walking in general hurts. Sitting down hurts. Standing up hurts. Lying down hurts. Stretching hurts. Not stretching hurts. This is frustrating, yes.
Time for methocarbomol, ibuprofen, DLPA, magnesium, valerian, and passion flower. If I am ever going to sleep well tonight.
/side note/ I will ask Adam to do that touch healing massage that is so unique to him. It's not exactly Reiki -- it is the stuff of a magic practicer. Adam is a mage, working with universal forces, like I am a witch, working with natural forces. We don't just use magic, like some might in rituals and spells. We live it. We make magic a part of our lives the way artists make art a part of their lives. So whatever he does contains some sort of energy manipulation or use. Therefore, I can expect to feel magic if he were to give me a massage. /end side note/
The spasms are driving me nuts. But I just took a really nice pain reliever muscle relaxer that definitely works wonders on me.

eyes wide

Oh.
Hell.
The cerebral palsy and unidentifiable chronic pain problem has struck my legs.
Hard.
My quadriceps are so tense they feel like stone. Scratch that: List every single muscle from hips to toes, and those are the ones that hurt. Walking up stairs hurts. Walking down stairs hurts. Walking in general hurts. Sitting down hurts. Standing up hurts. Lying down hurts. Stretching hurts. Not stretching hurts. This is frustrating, yes.
Time for methocarbomol, ibuprofen, DLPA, magnesium, valerian, and passion flower. If I am ever going to sleep well tonight.
/side note/ I will ask Adam to do that touch healing massage that is so unique to him. It's not exactly Reiki -- it is the stuff of a magic practicer. Adam is a mage, working with universal forces, like I am a witch, working with natural forces. We don't just use magic, like some might in rituals and spells. We live it. We make magic a part of our lives the way artists make art a part of their lives. So whatever he does contains some sort of energy manipulation or use. Therefore, I can expect to feel magic if he were to give me a massage. /end side note/
The spasms are driving me nuts. But I just took a really nice pain reliever muscle relaxer that definitely works wonders on me.

eyes wide

Oh.
Hell.
The cerebral palsy and unidentifiable chronic pain problem has struck my legs.
Hard.
My quadriceps are so tense they feel like stone. Scratch that: List every single muscle from hips to toes, and those are the ones that hurt. Walking up stairs hurts. Walking down stairs hurts. Walking in general hurts. Sitting down hurts. Standing up hurts. Lying down hurts. Stretching hurts. Not stretching hurts. This is frustrating, yes.
Time for methocarbomol, ibuprofen, DLPA, magnesium, valerian, and passion flower. If I am ever going to sleep well tonight.
/side note/ I will ask Adam to do that touch healing massage that is so unique to him. It's not exactly Reiki -- it is the stuff of a magic practicer. Adam is a mage, working with universal forces, like I am a witch, working with natural forces. We don't just use magic, like some might in rituals and spells. We live it. We make magic a part of our lives the way artists make art a part of their lives. So whatever he does contains some sort of energy manipulation or use. Therefore, I can expect to feel magic if he were to give me a massage. /end side note/
The spasms are driving me nuts. But I just took a really nice pain reliever muscle relaxer that definitely works wonders on me.