Flares and spasms

The back spasms started right after I left work. They continued as the train arrived at the above-ground stations heading toward Shady Grove half an hour later. The weather had changed significantly. From a sizzling 98 to to a breezy 75. On the bus, I developed such a sudden, intense craving for sugary sweet treats that I got off the bus near the 7-11, bought stuff, and then decided to try and walk through the pain. The walk from 7-11 to my house takes about thirty minutes. And along the way, I had a lovely conversation with my lower back muscles. They complained and cried; I told them to shove it. The sciatica was bad enough that my toes were numb, on both feet. And the not so funny thing was that Adam had called me at work and told me he wanted to see if he could see a doctor next week, because the toes of his feet were numb from his own sciatica. He wanted to make sure it wasn't that serious, because he had been doing a lot of physical work lately. I am proud of him for wanting to check. I've become increasingly worried. Adam can usually get through intense pain, but this is pretty bad. I find myself in tears more and more, remembering what I went through and desperately hoping that he won't have to endure it.
I just took a Soma pill and am waiting for it to work. I really want a massage, but I have the feeling that if anyone were to touch me, I would start screaming.
I have ice cream, though. Chocolate Haagen Dazs. I wish I knew what the hell happened to my ball of fresh mozzarella. I had half a ball in the veggie drawer yesterday and now it's gone. I'm hoping my roommate didn't eat the whole thing, or I may have to have words with him. I'd been planning on using some of that cheese in my salad. I can buy more on the way home tomorrow; Giant will probably still have a sale. But still. I hate when my food disappears without me eating it.

Flares and spasms

The back spasms started right after I left work. They continued as the train arrived at the above-ground stations heading toward Shady Grove half an hour later. The weather had changed significantly. From a sizzling 98 to to a breezy 75. On the bus, I developed such a sudden, intense craving for sugary sweet treats that I got off the bus near the 7-11, bought stuff, and then decided to try and walk through the pain. The walk from 7-11 to my house takes about thirty minutes. And along the way, I had a lovely conversation with my lower back muscles. They complained and cried; I told them to shove it. The sciatica was bad enough that my toes were numb, on both feet. And the not so funny thing was that Adam had called me at work and told me he wanted to see if he could see a doctor next week, because the toes of his feet were numb from his own sciatica. He wanted to make sure it wasn't that serious, because he had been doing a lot of physical work lately. I am proud of him for wanting to check. I've become increasingly worried. Adam can usually get through intense pain, but this is pretty bad. I find myself in tears more and more, remembering what I went through and desperately hoping that he won't have to endure it.
I just took a Soma pill and am waiting for it to work. I really want a massage, but I have the feeling that if anyone were to touch me, I would start screaming.
I have ice cream, though. Chocolate Haagen Dazs. I wish I knew what the hell happened to my ball of fresh mozzarella. I had half a ball in the veggie drawer yesterday and now it's gone. I'm hoping my roommate didn't eat the whole thing, or I may have to have words with him. I'd been planning on using some of that cheese in my salad. I can buy more on the way home tomorrow; Giant will probably still have a sale. But still. I hate when my food disappears without me eating it.

Flares and spasms

The back spasms started right after I left work. They continued as the train arrived at the above-ground stations heading toward Shady Grove half an hour later. The weather had changed significantly. From a sizzling 98 to to a breezy 75. On the bus, I developed such a sudden, intense craving for sugary sweet treats that I got off the bus near the 7-11, bought stuff, and then decided to try and walk through the pain. The walk from 7-11 to my house takes about thirty minutes. And along the way, I had a lovely conversation with my lower back muscles. They complained and cried; I told them to shove it. The sciatica was bad enough that my toes were numb, on both feet. And the not so funny thing was that Adam had called me at work and told me he wanted to see if he could see a doctor next week, because the toes of his feet were numb from his own sciatica. He wanted to make sure it wasn't that serious, because he had been doing a lot of physical work lately. I am proud of him for wanting to check. I've become increasingly worried. Adam can usually get through intense pain, but this is pretty bad. I find myself in tears more and more, remembering what I went through and desperately hoping that he won't have to endure it.
I just took a Soma pill and am waiting for it to work. I really want a massage, but I have the feeling that if anyone were to touch me, I would start screaming.
I have ice cream, though. Chocolate Haagen Dazs. I wish I knew what the hell happened to my ball of fresh mozzarella. I had half a ball in the veggie drawer yesterday and now it's gone. I'm hoping my roommate didn't eat the whole thing, or I may have to have words with him. I'd been planning on using some of that cheese in my salad. I can buy more on the way home tomorrow; Giant will probably still have a sale. But still. I hate when my food disappears without me eating it.

Float, Sink, WTF.

Well, the Soma kicked in.
*giggles*
*is dizzy*
*falls over*

Something I found interesting:
In a forum on chronic pain and cerebral palsy, I posted about my detailed happy experiences with Soma. All I wanted to do was tell people that I had found a medication that worked for me and I was happy; I didn't suggest that anyone else try it.
The very first comment I got was from a girl who said, "Well, it looks like you are on your way to prescription drug addiction."
I replied calmly, saying that I had discussed that potential with my doctor, but I was carefully monitoring myself, not taking the drug every day, taking a low dose, giving my doctor updates, and understanding that I only need that one small dose. The girl replied, obviously not buying it, "Yeah, good luck with that!" So I replied one more time that, well, that was her opinion, but she didn't know me or my experiences with CP or pain, and she certainly was not the authority on whether or not someone taking an analgesic muscle relaxant was becoming addicted. I didn't get a response to that. Eventually I hit the wrong button while editing my post, and now it's deleted. Meh. But those comments have stuck with me.
So, hypothetically, generally... you see online that a total stranger has been taking a prescribed medication and is doing really well on it, and wants to share her amazing experience. Would you immediately jump to the conclusion that the stranger is becoming addicted? Would you assume she is going to abuse the medication? Why might you assume this? Because she feels good? Because the medication makes her feel euphoric? Because she found a medication that helps her in ways that no other medication has? Did you bother to ask her about her medical history? Her pain levels? Her mental state? Her personality? Her actual chronic condition?
The internet breeds The Strange and Crazy. People will assume anything and everything. I'm learning to let it roll off me. I'm learning not to care.
I have no desire to take Soma every day, let alone more than one pill (I did that once, when the pain was extreme; all that happened was that I started talking in slow motion and couldn't stand up straight for two hours. I didn't enjoy it much).
I don't find myself needing the pill to feel better. I don't find myself desperately wanting the pill. I don't find myself lying to myself and others about taking the pill. I don't flip out if I don't have the pills. I have no cravings for the drug. I feel absolutely no recurring compulsion to taking the medication despite any potentially harmful consequences to my health, mental state or social life. In fact, if I never took Soma again, I'd be fine, I know this deep down. I take it for pain relief, nothing else. For fuck's sake.
I wonder what this commenter's definition of addiction is, anyway? If it is "feeling euphoric and ecstatic for a few hours because all the muscles are relaxed and happy and the pain is gone" then that person seriously needs to read up on the definition of addiction.
Other commenters were happy for me, though, so hey.
It doesn't matter.
However, it makes me think.
I have to wonder how much people really think they know about other people.
Not that much, apparently.
Be careful on the internet, kids.

Float, Sink, WTF.

Well, the Soma kicked in.
*giggles*
*is dizzy*
*falls over*

Something I found interesting:
In a forum on chronic pain and cerebral palsy, I posted about my detailed happy experiences with Soma. All I wanted to do was tell people that I had found a medication that worked for me and I was happy; I didn't suggest that anyone else try it.
The very first comment I got was from a girl who said, "Well, it looks like you are on your way to prescription drug addiction."
I replied calmly, saying that I had discussed that potential with my doctor, but I was carefully monitoring myself, not taking the drug every day, taking a low dose, giving my doctor updates, and understanding that I only need that one small dose. The girl replied, obviously not buying it, "Yeah, good luck with that!" So I replied one more time that, well, that was her opinion, but she didn't know me or my experiences with CP or pain, and she certainly was not the authority on whether or not someone taking an analgesic muscle relaxant was becoming addicted. I didn't get a response to that. Eventually I hit the wrong button while editing my post, and now it's deleted. Meh. But those comments have stuck with me.
So, hypothetically, generally... you see online that a total stranger has been taking a prescribed medication and is doing really well on it, and wants to share her amazing experience. Would you immediately jump to the conclusion that the stranger is becoming addicted? Would you assume she is going to abuse the medication? Why might you assume this? Because she feels good? Because the medication makes her feel euphoric? Because she found a medication that helps her in ways that no other medication has? Did you bother to ask her about her medical history? Her pain levels? Her mental state? Her personality? Her actual chronic condition?
The internet breeds The Strange and Crazy. People will assume anything and everything. I'm learning to let it roll off me. I'm learning not to care.
I have no desire to take Soma every day, let alone more than one pill (I did that once, when the pain was extreme; all that happened was that I started talking in slow motion and couldn't stand up straight for two hours. I didn't enjoy it much).
I don't find myself needing the pill to feel better. I don't find myself desperately wanting the pill. I don't find myself lying to myself and others about taking the pill. I don't flip out if I don't have the pills. I have no cravings for the drug. I feel absolutely no recurring compulsion to taking the medication despite any potentially harmful consequences to my health, mental state or social life. In fact, if I never took Soma again, I'd be fine, I know this deep down. I take it for pain relief, nothing else. For fuck's sake.
I wonder what this commenter's definition of addiction is, anyway? If it is "feeling euphoric and ecstatic for a few hours because all the muscles are relaxed and happy and the pain is gone" then that person seriously needs to read up on the definition of addiction.
Other commenters were happy for me, though, so hey.
It doesn't matter.
However, it makes me think.
I have to wonder how much people really think they know about other people.
Not that much, apparently.
Be careful on the internet, kids.

Float, Sink, WTF.

Well, the Soma kicked in.
*giggles*
*is dizzy*
*falls over*

Something I found interesting:
In a forum on chronic pain and cerebral palsy, I posted about my detailed happy experiences with Soma. All I wanted to do was tell people that I had found a medication that worked for me and I was happy; I didn't suggest that anyone else try it.
The very first comment I got was from a girl who said, "Well, it looks like you are on your way to prescription drug addiction."
I replied calmly, saying that I had discussed that potential with my doctor, but I was carefully monitoring myself, not taking the drug every day, taking a low dose, giving my doctor updates, and understanding that I only need that one small dose. The girl replied, obviously not buying it, "Yeah, good luck with that!" So I replied one more time that, well, that was her opinion, but she didn't know me or my experiences with CP or pain, and she certainly was not the authority on whether or not someone taking an analgesic muscle relaxant was becoming addicted. I didn't get a response to that. Eventually I hit the wrong button while editing my post, and now it's deleted. Meh. But those comments have stuck with me.
So, hypothetically, generally... you see online that a total stranger has been taking a prescribed medication and is doing really well on it, and wants to share her amazing experience. Would you immediately jump to the conclusion that the stranger is becoming addicted? Would you assume she is going to abuse the medication? Why might you assume this? Because she feels good? Because the medication makes her feel euphoric? Because she found a medication that helps her in ways that no other medication has? Did you bother to ask her about her medical history? Her pain levels? Her mental state? Her personality? Her actual chronic condition?
The internet breeds The Strange and Crazy. People will assume anything and everything. I'm learning to let it roll off me. I'm learning not to care.
I have no desire to take Soma every day, let alone more than one pill (I did that once, when the pain was extreme; all that happened was that I started talking in slow motion and couldn't stand up straight for two hours. I didn't enjoy it much).
I don't find myself needing the pill to feel better. I don't find myself desperately wanting the pill. I don't find myself lying to myself and others about taking the pill. I don't flip out if I don't have the pills. I have no cravings for the drug. I feel absolutely no recurring compulsion to taking the medication despite any potentially harmful consequences to my health, mental state or social life. In fact, if I never took Soma again, I'd be fine, I know this deep down. I take it for pain relief, nothing else. For fuck's sake.
I wonder what this commenter's definition of addiction is, anyway? If it is "feeling euphoric and ecstatic for a few hours because all the muscles are relaxed and happy and the pain is gone" then that person seriously needs to read up on the definition of addiction.
Other commenters were happy for me, though, so hey.
It doesn't matter.
However, it makes me think.
I have to wonder how much people really think they know about other people.
Not that much, apparently.
Be careful on the internet, kids.

And the thunder rolls

The thunder, oh gods, it is glorious.
I did something I probably shouldn't have done, and drew power directly from the storm. It's fantastic. It's fucking INTENSE. It rolled through me and swirled around me and crashed into me and left me breathless and shaking and vibrating. My fatigue is completely gone, my pain is barely registering. It's not just the Soma. Eventually I'll let the energy out back into the earth, but for now I'm having fun. My teeth are humming. The rain is splattering on the grass outside the sliding glass door and it feels like a chant.
Now I understand why Adam loves storms, loves drawing magical energy from storms.
Gods, I love being a witch.

And the thunder rolls

The thunder, oh gods, it is glorious.
I did something I probably shouldn't have done, and drew power directly from the storm. It's fantastic. It's fucking INTENSE. It rolled through me and swirled around me and crashed into me and left me breathless and shaking and vibrating. My fatigue is completely gone, my pain is barely registering. It's not just the Soma. Eventually I'll let the energy out back into the earth, but for now I'm having fun. My teeth are humming. The rain is splattering on the grass outside the sliding glass door and it feels like a chant.
Now I understand why Adam loves storms, loves drawing magical energy from storms.
Gods, I love being a witch.

And the thunder rolls

The thunder, oh gods, it is glorious.
I did something I probably shouldn't have done, and drew power directly from the storm. It's fantastic. It's fucking INTENSE. It rolled through me and swirled around me and crashed into me and left me breathless and shaking and vibrating. My fatigue is completely gone, my pain is barely registering. It's not just the Soma. Eventually I'll let the energy out back into the earth, but for now I'm having fun. My teeth are humming. The rain is splattering on the grass outside the sliding glass door and it feels like a chant.
Now I understand why Adam loves storms, loves drawing magical energy from storms.
Gods, I love being a witch.