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"Some say the gods are just a myth. But guess who I've been dancing with? The great god Pan is alive!"
-"The Return Of Pan", Mike Scott and the Waterboys
Well, today still isn't going well, but who's counting? Love you epilepsy! Love you, hypertonia! Love you, sciatica! Love you, fibrom- wait, I just took pills for you. Love you, sinus pressure!
If you can't destroy them, dance with them?
I apologize in advance if I start snapping and snarling.
Depression, anxiety, moving in and out of realities, and extreme pains are causing me to have very low patience. So, let's just say that I will be in no mood to tolerate any good-natured teasing, obsessive attempts to ask me about my hobbies, armchair doctoring, or backhanded compliments about my disabilities. In short, if you can't tell my emotions from my typing, here they are: No empathy, no patience, needing to focus on my self.
I will have no time or patience for debates, questions needing immediate answers, or deep discussions requiring emotional investments. Did you do something wrong? No. But I am also feeling less empathetic than usual.
Laugh with me. Joke with me. Make me smile. Make me feel entertained. Don't make me feel as if I need to make you feel better. You can do that on your own today. I will be better tomorrow, and I will help you tomorrow after I take care of myself.
I will be dancing with things that seek to destroy me in order to soothe them.
It takes great energy and power to dance between destruction and creation.
See you tomorrow, loved ones.
Erin Gloria Ryan said it best: "I have given this all of my fucks, and the fucks I have given are still not enough fucks. So many more fucks need to be given, and I have exhausted my fuck supply. The fucks are on backorder. Employees are working overtime to restock my fucks, but in the meantime, please accept this 10% off coupon while we wait for the fucks to arrive via FedEx. I'll be over here, drinking wine from a Pac Man mug and watching cartoons."
I am watching cartoons and drinking various superfruit caffeinated juices from bottles with dragons on. With a goodly splash of Bombay Sapphire Gin.
Supportive likes and hugs are awesome. I'm just completely out of fucks to give and I haven't focused just on myself for so long that it's all finally boiled over. People have been asking if they did something wrong and this is the most polite way of saying "Look, I just need you to not pile things on me for a while. I'll be over there with my tea and my cartoons."
Let's see...
Spastic cerebral palsy with hemiparesis and hypertonia.
Temporal lobe epilepsy with complex partial seizures.
Fibromyalgia with full body flares and fatigue.
Sciatica in both legs.
Raynaud's Disease in fingers and toes.
Joint and nerve pains everywhere.
Major depression, general anxiety, OCD, ADHD without hyperactivity.
Disintegrating memory with dysphasia.
Yes, indeed, it is all here. Let's have a party and dance like the universe is watching.
And if the gods goddesses of destruction and creation can join me, I welcome it. When it comes to incredibly powerful gods goddesses like that, I get extremely cautious. I don't say their names lightly. If I really want to call Kali, I need a damn good reason. Many people do not really understand how old, powerful, and intense these deities are. The Christian god Yahweh may be the youngest and most popular deity in history, but there are gods who are so old that time doesn't matter to them.
And so, if I ask an old god to dance with me, I need to ask in a very, very respectful, gentle way.
-"The Return Of Pan", Mike Scott and the Waterboys
Well, today still isn't going well, but who's counting? Love you epilepsy! Love you, hypertonia! Love you, sciatica! Love you, fibrom- wait, I just took pills for you. Love you, sinus pressure!
If you can't destroy them, dance with them?
I apologize in advance if I start snapping and snarling.
Depression, anxiety, moving in and out of realities, and extreme pains are causing me to have very low patience. So, let's just say that I will be in no mood to tolerate any good-natured teasing, obsessive attempts to ask me about my hobbies, armchair doctoring, or backhanded compliments about my disabilities. In short, if you can't tell my emotions from my typing, here they are: No empathy, no patience, needing to focus on my self.
I will have no time or patience for debates, questions needing immediate answers, or deep discussions requiring emotional investments. Did you do something wrong? No. But I am also feeling less empathetic than usual.
Laugh with me. Joke with me. Make me smile. Make me feel entertained. Don't make me feel as if I need to make you feel better. You can do that on your own today. I will be better tomorrow, and I will help you tomorrow after I take care of myself.
I will be dancing with things that seek to destroy me in order to soothe them.
It takes great energy and power to dance between destruction and creation.
See you tomorrow, loved ones.
Erin Gloria Ryan said it best: "I have given this all of my fucks, and the fucks I have given are still not enough fucks. So many more fucks need to be given, and I have exhausted my fuck supply. The fucks are on backorder. Employees are working overtime to restock my fucks, but in the meantime, please accept this 10% off coupon while we wait for the fucks to arrive via FedEx. I'll be over here, drinking wine from a Pac Man mug and watching cartoons."
I am watching cartoons and drinking various superfruit caffeinated juices from bottles with dragons on. With a goodly splash of Bombay Sapphire Gin.
Supportive likes and hugs are awesome. I'm just completely out of fucks to give and I haven't focused just on myself for so long that it's all finally boiled over. People have been asking if they did something wrong and this is the most polite way of saying "Look, I just need you to not pile things on me for a while. I'll be over there with my tea and my cartoons."
Let's see...
Spastic cerebral palsy with hemiparesis and hypertonia.
Temporal lobe epilepsy with complex partial seizures.
Fibromyalgia with full body flares and fatigue.
Sciatica in both legs.
Raynaud's Disease in fingers and toes.
Joint and nerve pains everywhere.
Major depression, general anxiety, OCD, ADHD without hyperactivity.
Disintegrating memory with dysphasia.
Yes, indeed, it is all here. Let's have a party and dance like the universe is watching.
And if the gods goddesses of destruction and creation can join me, I welcome it. When it comes to incredibly powerful gods goddesses like that, I get extremely cautious. I don't say their names lightly. If I really want to call Kali, I need a damn good reason. Many people do not really understand how old, powerful, and intense these deities are. The Christian god Yahweh may be the youngest and most popular deity in history, but there are gods who are so old that time doesn't matter to them.
And so, if I ask an old god to dance with me, I need to ask in a very, very respectful, gentle way.
