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brightrosefoxhttp://community.livejournal.com/ljdq/141723.html
6. Women - what's their deal?
"Women, the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems." - illogicalvulcan
"Seven cards. Love rummy, hate poker." - cygna_hime
"Doubling-D up on an inside straight flush, if you know what I mean, and I think Jennifer Tilly does. I'll be in my bunk, waiting on the flop." - etcet
"Well it's not 2 for 1, let me tell you that. Some of them get really angry if you even suggest it." - oboe_dude
"You don't honestly expect me to answer a question as loaded as that?? Couldn't I just...y'know...desecrate a church or something instead?" - fmh
"Why are you asking me? I can't understand them one bit, why do you think I am gay?" - b_hulsmans
"Women get all kinds of deals, like no cover charge on Tuesday nights, $2 drafts, and the opportunity to get hosed down on stage in front of a crowd of drunken college students!" - rhiannonjk
(erm, yay? – AL&LL)
(w00t! – CV)
"You know, there was a whole movie about this, back before Mel Gibson went crazy. Wasn't a very good movie, and I don't think it even answered the question, aside from Women Want Everything. Which may be true. At least, it's true for me. Go make me a sammich, bitch." - kokopellinelli
"When my husband and I started dating, he put it very well: he said that women have to learn how to speak Man, because no man will ever be smart enough to speak Woman." - peaseblossom03
"They think men are as complicated as we are. Their magazines are all 'Forty five secrets men want you to know.' Well, women? Listen up. WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH US THERE, YES THERE." - lots42
"I'll explain it to you just as soon as you explain to me why purportedly straight men are obsessed with watching other men in spandex trousers pile on top of each other in a testosterone induced pseudo-orgy." - deza
(I do not enjoy football or professional wrestling. Superhero comics are ok, though. -CV)
"There are three simple rules: Don't expose them to sunlight, don't feed them after midnight, and never, ever get them wet. Unless they ask." - teh_antisecks
(+1, Gremlins)
"Girls just wanna have fun." - dracothelizard, who is really Cyndi Lauper
"They're more loyal than cats, and they don't poop on the carpet, usually." - drbear
"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." - crystalcazzie
(Just give CV a hint and beat him up real bad. – AV&LL)
"There's no dealing necessary. They already hold all the cards." - i_calql8
"They're crazy. That's why I went back to men. They're just stupid and easy to train with a rolled up newspaper." - whiski_sour
"I can't speak for every woman, but I'm just a raging bitch." - unleashedfreak
"We're regularly BLEEDING OUT OUR GENITALS. You try doing that without having a 'deal'." - purple_chalk
"We're fierce and awesome except we'll seriously kick your ass if you don't go grab us a Hershey bar and give us cuddles while watching some movie starring (probably) Johnny Depp. AND I MEAN WATCHING, SO GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE MISTER." - zestylime
Correct Answer: "Chocolate. It's all about the chocolate. And the enslaving of men everywhere, but we're keeping that hushhush." - feywood
6. Women - what's their deal?
"Women, the cause of and the solution to all of life's problems." - illogicalvulcan
"Seven cards. Love rummy, hate poker." - cygna_hime
"Doubling-D up on an inside straight flush, if you know what I mean, and I think Jennifer Tilly does. I'll be in my bunk, waiting on the flop." - etcet
"Well it's not 2 for 1, let me tell you that. Some of them get really angry if you even suggest it." - oboe_dude
"You don't honestly expect me to answer a question as loaded as that?? Couldn't I just...y'know...desecrate a church or something instead?" - fmh
"Why are you asking me? I can't understand them one bit, why do you think I am gay?" - b_hulsmans
"Women get all kinds of deals, like no cover charge on Tuesday nights, $2 drafts, and the opportunity to get hosed down on stage in front of a crowd of drunken college students!" - rhiannonjk
(erm, yay? – AL&LL)
(w00t! – CV)
"You know, there was a whole movie about this, back before Mel Gibson went crazy. Wasn't a very good movie, and I don't think it even answered the question, aside from Women Want Everything. Which may be true. At least, it's true for me. Go make me a sammich, bitch." - kokopellinelli
"When my husband and I started dating, he put it very well: he said that women have to learn how to speak Man, because no man will ever be smart enough to speak Woman." - peaseblossom03
"They think men are as complicated as we are. Their magazines are all 'Forty five secrets men want you to know.' Well, women? Listen up. WE LIKE IT WHEN YOU TOUCH US THERE, YES THERE." - lots42
"I'll explain it to you just as soon as you explain to me why purportedly straight men are obsessed with watching other men in spandex trousers pile on top of each other in a testosterone induced pseudo-orgy." - deza
(I do not enjoy football or professional wrestling. Superhero comics are ok, though. -CV)
"There are three simple rules: Don't expose them to sunlight, don't feed them after midnight, and never, ever get them wet. Unless they ask." - teh_antisecks
(+1, Gremlins)
"Girls just wanna have fun." - dracothelizard, who is really Cyndi Lauper
"They're more loyal than cats, and they don't poop on the carpet, usually." - drbear
"I'd tell you, but then I'd have to kill you." - crystalcazzie
(Just give CV a hint and beat him up real bad. – AV&LL)
"There's no dealing necessary. They already hold all the cards." - i_calql8
"They're crazy. That's why I went back to men. They're just stupid and easy to train with a rolled up newspaper." - whiski_sour
"I can't speak for every woman, but I'm just a raging bitch." - unleashedfreak
"We're regularly BLEEDING OUT OUR GENITALS. You try doing that without having a 'deal'." - purple_chalk
"We're fierce and awesome except we'll seriously kick your ass if you don't go grab us a Hershey bar and give us cuddles while watching some movie starring (probably) Johnny Depp. AND I MEAN WATCHING, SO GET YOUR HAND OUT OF THERE MISTER." - zestylime
Correct Answer: "Chocolate. It's all about the chocolate. And the enslaving of men everywhere, but we're keeping that hushhush." - feywood
