Being Alice: clockwounddown

[brightrosefox]

Too tired.
Too tired to cry over the pain.
Fatigue too much.
Stupid.
Bad.
Fall down.
Brain slow.
Muscles near dead.
Waiting for supplements to work.
Fucking tree sex. Asthma inhaler in purse.
So bright outside, so much sun.
So tired.
Disconnection.
Slow, slow, brain splintered shining.
Mind colored like stained glass.
Oh, body, why?
Must increase ATP.
Must keep moving.
Must not collapse.
Wait, wait, let meds circulate.
So tired.
So disoriented.
Spinning, almost euphoric.
Can't see the brainforests for the pretty trees.
But I'm almost out, I'm almost fine.
I'll always be fine.
I'm fine. See? Out.

So tired...

World, I would love to care about all your pain and problems, but right now I want to be selfish and I want to curl up and rock back and forth and breathe hard and cry.

It'll be over soon, and I'll be fine, but not right now, okay? Love you still.