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I knew there was another reason to take that Klonopin besides extra seizure prevention. I don't want to have a depressive episode on top of a pain flare on top of a possible seizure aura. Tomorrow is my birthday! Tomorrow marks the 33rd anniversary of me having survived! I need to be happy! I will be happy. I must be happy. No crying. It says so in my life contract.

Also, I didn't realize how deeply and intensely I hold some friends in my heart until they have to leave... I gave Red an amber Celtic ring and an an amber pentacle pendant, and she gave me her rainbow moonstone ring. It was wonderful. But there is is still a hole in me. Red is a Rennie and a traveler and her home base will always be Maryland, but I will always miss her as she drives across the country working Renn Faires. I hope her new lover man is truly her everything the way Adam is my everything.

All I ever want is to see my loved ones happy. I miss them all even when they are with me.

Dad says that double number birthday years are full of good luck and good magic. I hope so.
I'm going to watch more Futurama until Red returns from her goodbye tour. Humor and comfort. I need to laugh. My head hurts and my neck hurts. Laughter is medicine.
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