Do you really want me to shut up?
May. 25th, 2012 09:32 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxI've realized I have been very unemotional about the following subject, but what the hell, I might as well ask.
A few people have mentioned that I "constantly blog about pain and disabilities because it's like a badge of honor, reminding everyone" and they feel that my disabilities are a point of pride, even becoming my identity. Something like that. I'm already done laughing my ass off and rolling my eyes.
However, they make one good point. I do blog a lot about pain and disabilities - but it's not because I'm proud; it is because the medical things are stuff that happen to me, chronically and constantly without end. I was born with brain damage that caused more damage that has snowballed throughout my entire life. I don't have the luxury of being able to whine and bemoan for a few days or weeks while the wounds heal and the bandages come off. Yeah, that's a luxury in my world.
I would love, love, love to be a person who doesn't have disabilities or serious permanent medical issues to speak of. Even having a minor condition since childhood would be preferable. My gods, that is my dream. Badge of honor? Point of pride? Identity? Seriously? I don't think I have ever been so insulted as a disabled person, and I've been insulted a lot as a disabled person. And I've stopping really caring, because fuck that.
However, I would genuinely like to know: If you are on my friends list, or if you have been reading my journal, have you thought such things about me? Would you like me to stop talking about it? If so, are there reasons you still read my journal? Do you want to unfriend me? I wouldn't be offended if you stopped reading, truly. I'm more curious than anything else. I know I have plenty of online friends who are disabled and truly understand. But the number of people who have emailed me with such words is an interesting tally. I just want to say that if you really think I am like that, please let me know, so I can stop "whining" about stuff. And I'm serious: If I'm being a defensive ass or a whiny ass, call me on it. But do it here, to my face (so to speak), because I want that much more than I want private emails from people who don't want to reveal themselves.
A few people have mentioned that I "constantly blog about pain and disabilities because it's like a badge of honor, reminding everyone" and they feel that my disabilities are a point of pride, even becoming my identity. Something like that. I'm already done laughing my ass off and rolling my eyes.
However, they make one good point. I do blog a lot about pain and disabilities - but it's not because I'm proud; it is because the medical things are stuff that happen to me, chronically and constantly without end. I was born with brain damage that caused more damage that has snowballed throughout my entire life. I don't have the luxury of being able to whine and bemoan for a few days or weeks while the wounds heal and the bandages come off. Yeah, that's a luxury in my world.
I would love, love, love to be a person who doesn't have disabilities or serious permanent medical issues to speak of. Even having a minor condition since childhood would be preferable. My gods, that is my dream. Badge of honor? Point of pride? Identity? Seriously? I don't think I have ever been so insulted as a disabled person, and I've been insulted a lot as a disabled person. And I've stopping really caring, because fuck that.
However, I would genuinely like to know: If you are on my friends list, or if you have been reading my journal, have you thought such things about me? Would you like me to stop talking about it? If so, are there reasons you still read my journal? Do you want to unfriend me? I wouldn't be offended if you stopped reading, truly. I'm more curious than anything else. I know I have plenty of online friends who are disabled and truly understand. But the number of people who have emailed me with such words is an interesting tally. I just want to say that if you really think I am like that, please let me know, so I can stop "whining" about stuff. And I'm serious: If I'm being a defensive ass or a whiny ass, call me on it. But do it here, to my face (so to speak), because I want that much more than I want private emails from people who don't want to reveal themselves.
