brightlotusmoon (![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
brightrosefox) wrote2012-11-07 10:17 am
brightrosefox) wrote2012-11-07 10:17 am
Everyone is talking, so why not...
I am a socially liberal moderate with mild civil libertarian leanings and mild conservative leanings; I do not call myself a Democrat or left-wing liberal and I find real partisan politics weird; I like to watch Fox News just for the reporting, which I am entertained by; I have many many friends who call themselves Republican yet do not embrace the extremely creepy insane views that many GOP members embrace; I do not believe Republicans generally are evil or hideous or boogeymen; I feel upset when an entire political party is smeared with a giant stabbing poison brush. I prefer when hate and loathing is directed at all parties.
So... does anybody want to yell at me for not being, say, fully liberal enough or not informed enough or not this or that enough, or for watching Fox News or for having loving Republican friends? It has happened before, and I was highly amused back then. Now I am very curious, because this is LiveJournal and a social public blog, and everyone is an asshole whether we will admit it or not.
I watched the results of the election kerfluffle. I watched as Obama won and the Democrats celebrated with feverish fervor.
I will not discuss my opinions or feelings, but I will say that I feel okay. Not joyous, not sad, not amazed, not worried, not thrilled, not upset, not delighted, not miserable, not depressed. Just okay. Just calm. Just relaxed. Just refreshed. Just fine. Just okay. I don't mind. I don't mind, but I will be very watchful. Obama is not the greatest. Obama is not made of magic. Obama will not make all problems vanish. Obama will make more problems. But Obama will be okay. I will be watchful and I will see.
But I am in so much pain that I can barely stay upright and also my legs, lower back, hips, arms, and wrists are being spastic, stabbing, aching, and burning. So I am drugging myself with Baclofen and Codeine and resting.
And I still refuse to tell you who I voted for.
It's... hard for me to explain. I have an Interesting Brain. See, I am tokophobic, which means Intense Fear Of Pregnancy And Childbirth. I want to block my uterus from accepting conception permanently, firstly for my own fears and anxieties and phobias, and way down the list for assholes who think I'm a breeding factory. I am planning on a tubal ligation or even a coil insert, once I have the opportunity and money and Medicare.
People tell me, "Oh, why don't you tell your husband to get a vasectomy? It is easier! SmileyFace!" And I sneer and smirk and say, "No. Because there is always the possibility that I may one day get raped. No. Because this is my own body. I do not own my male partner's body. I own my own body. My body. And this is what I want to do. My uterus does not define me. I, myself, define me. But phobia is strong. I am not afraid of permanently soothing my phobia. But I am afraid of being stopped because someone has decided I should not. But, see, I am not afraid because of politics or other women or people who hate or anything like that. I am only afraid for myself. And so I would do this only for myself, and not for you."
One day, I will be sterilized. But not for them, never for them. I do things for me. But I voted with my conscience, which wraps around everyone. I will not say for whom. I will only say that I did not write in a candidate, but I love to joke about that. Futurama, Babylon 5, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, Firefly. Bender and Garibaldi. River Tam and Princess Celestia. Delenn and Twilight Sparkle. Applejack and Ivanova. Malcom Reynolds and Philip J. Fry.
I hope most of all of that makes sense.
But that is not the point. The point is that nobody should vote only on single issues like abortion, like gay marriage, like small government, like Social Security. But women did because of fear. And I never wanted to be afraid. I never wanted my fears to bleed into my politics. I did not let that happen. Yes, I am fiercely pro-choice in many ways. Yes, I am pro-gay marriage in many ways. Yes, I am pro-gun ownership for all citizens, believing in the freedom to own guns in their homes. Yes, I am pro-death penalty. Yes, I believe that the government should help people like me, the disabled, without looming too close for comfort. Yes, I believe the government should keep their hands out of my wallet, my bedroom, my body, my self.
But I refuse to vote only, solely, on only one of those single issues.
I don't know why that happens so often with people.
I cannot explain how I feel or hope. I will only say that I hope the next four years are not terrible, that we will be okay.
I want to be okay.
So... does anybody want to yell at me for not being, say, fully liberal enough or not informed enough or not this or that enough, or for watching Fox News or for having loving Republican friends? It has happened before, and I was highly amused back then. Now I am very curious, because this is LiveJournal and a social public blog, and everyone is an asshole whether we will admit it or not.
I watched the results of the election kerfluffle. I watched as Obama won and the Democrats celebrated with feverish fervor.
I will not discuss my opinions or feelings, but I will say that I feel okay. Not joyous, not sad, not amazed, not worried, not thrilled, not upset, not delighted, not miserable, not depressed. Just okay. Just calm. Just relaxed. Just refreshed. Just fine. Just okay. I don't mind. I don't mind, but I will be very watchful. Obama is not the greatest. Obama is not made of magic. Obama will not make all problems vanish. Obama will make more problems. But Obama will be okay. I will be watchful and I will see.
But I am in so much pain that I can barely stay upright and also my legs, lower back, hips, arms, and wrists are being spastic, stabbing, aching, and burning. So I am drugging myself with Baclofen and Codeine and resting.
And I still refuse to tell you who I voted for.
It's... hard for me to explain. I have an Interesting Brain. See, I am tokophobic, which means Intense Fear Of Pregnancy And Childbirth. I want to block my uterus from accepting conception permanently, firstly for my own fears and anxieties and phobias, and way down the list for assholes who think I'm a breeding factory. I am planning on a tubal ligation or even a coil insert, once I have the opportunity and money and Medicare.
People tell me, "Oh, why don't you tell your husband to get a vasectomy? It is easier! SmileyFace!" And I sneer and smirk and say, "No. Because there is always the possibility that I may one day get raped. No. Because this is my own body. I do not own my male partner's body. I own my own body. My body. And this is what I want to do. My uterus does not define me. I, myself, define me. But phobia is strong. I am not afraid of permanently soothing my phobia. But I am afraid of being stopped because someone has decided I should not. But, see, I am not afraid because of politics or other women or people who hate or anything like that. I am only afraid for myself. And so I would do this only for myself, and not for you."
One day, I will be sterilized. But not for them, never for them. I do things for me. But I voted with my conscience, which wraps around everyone. I will not say for whom. I will only say that I did not write in a candidate, but I love to joke about that. Futurama, Babylon 5, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic, Firefly. Bender and Garibaldi. River Tam and Princess Celestia. Delenn and Twilight Sparkle. Applejack and Ivanova. Malcom Reynolds and Philip J. Fry.
I hope most of all of that makes sense.
But that is not the point. The point is that nobody should vote only on single issues like abortion, like gay marriage, like small government, like Social Security. But women did because of fear. And I never wanted to be afraid. I never wanted my fears to bleed into my politics. I did not let that happen. Yes, I am fiercely pro-choice in many ways. Yes, I am pro-gay marriage in many ways. Yes, I am pro-gun ownership for all citizens, believing in the freedom to own guns in their homes. Yes, I am pro-death penalty. Yes, I believe that the government should help people like me, the disabled, without looming too close for comfort. Yes, I believe the government should keep their hands out of my wallet, my bedroom, my body, my self.
But I refuse to vote only, solely, on only one of those single issues.
I don't know why that happens so often with people.
I cannot explain how I feel or hope. I will only say that I hope the next four years are not terrible, that we will be okay.
I want to be okay.
no subject
no subject
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