more thoughts
Mar. 5th, 2003 02:12 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxThere are times when I want to love for the sake of loving, and there are times when I want to be loved just because someone loves me. Which one is better? I like both. I like loving and being loved. I think it's the core of my being. I've only ever loved twice, and one of them was a childhood pet. Everyone knows who the second one is.
I love when he touches me just to touch me, rests his chin on my shoulder from behind so I can feel his breath across my cheek. When he's in the computer room and I come sit on his lap and he pulls me close and keeps me there and lets me know he appreciates my company. I love when he cooks for me or gives me presents just to cheer me up, or makes a complete fool of himself in public for the sole purpose of making me laugh. It's the type of person he is. It's in his nature to satisfy others, to make others happy. He hasn't turned down an extra day of work yet, except for illness or inconvenience. If he's going to be out late he lets me know and tells me he loves me. He pushes me to be my best, and because of that I always try to do my best.
Other days, he keeps to himself and smiles gently when I touch him, but is mostly internal, introspective, introverted. He'll sit in one corner and I'll sit in another, until I decide to come over and sit next to him and then he'll put his arm around me, but we'll both still be so quiet and gentle. Those days I withdraw deeper into myself because there's no reason for me to be out there. But that's okay, too, because those are quiet times, good times, where there's still love, just a quiet, deeper love, which is also good.
I have a burning, eternal need to be loved, touched. I've known men to stare at me like I was a goddess, and declare that if I was their girlfriend they'd treat me as such. But life isn't like that, no matter what I hope and want. Love is there, love is good, but love isn't everything. I wish it was. It's the one thing I live for.
I love when he touches me just to touch me, rests his chin on my shoulder from behind so I can feel his breath across my cheek. When he's in the computer room and I come sit on his lap and he pulls me close and keeps me there and lets me know he appreciates my company. I love when he cooks for me or gives me presents just to cheer me up, or makes a complete fool of himself in public for the sole purpose of making me laugh. It's the type of person he is. It's in his nature to satisfy others, to make others happy. He hasn't turned down an extra day of work yet, except for illness or inconvenience. If he's going to be out late he lets me know and tells me he loves me. He pushes me to be my best, and because of that I always try to do my best.
Other days, he keeps to himself and smiles gently when I touch him, but is mostly internal, introspective, introverted. He'll sit in one corner and I'll sit in another, until I decide to come over and sit next to him and then he'll put his arm around me, but we'll both still be so quiet and gentle. Those days I withdraw deeper into myself because there's no reason for me to be out there. But that's okay, too, because those are quiet times, good times, where there's still love, just a quiet, deeper love, which is also good.
I have a burning, eternal need to be loved, touched. I've known men to stare at me like I was a goddess, and declare that if I was their girlfriend they'd treat me as such. But life isn't like that, no matter what I hope and want. Love is there, love is good, but love isn't everything. I wish it was. It's the one thing I live for.