Being Alice: Lashing Out

[brightrosefox]

Post by Joanna Capello Paul.

Oh, Okay. That was very, very quick. Oh, that was less than a minute. So much energy, so much chemical screaming. Oh, Oh damn. My head is pounding. My fingers can't stop flying over this keyboard. I should go to bed. Oh.
Complex partial seizures are fascinating. Complex partial seizures that secondary generalize into Tonic Clonic seizures are even more fascinating and are rather grotesque. No wonder people were terrified in the past.
I remember grasping the leather chair arms to stop my body from catapulting away. I remember being aware of my mind, but not my body, as I watched my body from a window in my mind. I flailed and spasmed and strained and convulsed gently against the chair, and I fought gravity like a woman possessed. I was completely silent. My hair was flying all over my face. My body had no choice. Something had to release. Like a taut wire snapping. My wrists had strained from working to help my fingers stay gripped on the chair arms.
Things are painful now. Too tense. Tiny spasms now.
Oh, epilepsy. I do not appreciate you at all. Nope.

Post by Joanna Capello Paul.

Also, I am technically okay. Postictal state has left me drained, exhausted, weak, tired, foggy, floating somewhere between hungry and not hungry.
I'm glad I wrote it down. The seizure, I mean. Sometimes I remember better.

Stretching, stretching. Massages. I don't remember what else.
Well, er. At least the ligaments in my knees feel less tight?
Also, seizure fogginess blended with fibromyalgia fogginess makes Joanna something something.

Also, according to my blog records, this was the first seizure in three months, so, hey, that's good.

http://m.livejournal.com/read/user/brightlotusmoon/tag/being%20alice

Yeah, well.