Soul Dancing
Aug. 13th, 2004 11:31 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxI still dream of flying.
I took gymnastics when I was seven. The only things I was good at were the uneven and parallel bars and the rings. I couldn't do the floor exercises because of the CP (no matter how hard I tried, and I did try) but on the bars, I flew. I have dreams, sometimes, of being back on those bars, suspended upside down by the weight of my hands and arms and there is the feel of the chalk on my palms, the smell of polished wood in my nose. In the air, I was free. In the air my body didn't care about dead/paralyzed nerve connections, tight/clenched muscles, shaky balance, no fine motor coordination, poor depth perception. My body flew. My body, already born with gymnast dreams in mind somewhere in the marrow -- my body, small and slender and compact, was something in the air that it still isn't on the ground. I want, just once, to go to a gym and see the bars again. I want to see if I can still fly.
Internal cleansing. Blood purifying. Body detoxifying. I feel energized. Triphala. Burdock Root. Stinging Nettle Root. MSM. Inositol. Biotin. The muscles in my legs and arms and abs are so toned and everything inside is also toned. Gymnasts have so much outside tone. I'd like that. I think I will work for that. I don't want to be a gymnast. I'd rather dance. Not ballet. Just dance. I will work to that end. Cerebral Palsy be damned. I will learn to dance.
It's Friday. Jason will be playing tonight. I want to hear him. His voice is beautiful. My soul will dance to his music.
I took gymnastics when I was seven. The only things I was good at were the uneven and parallel bars and the rings. I couldn't do the floor exercises because of the CP (no matter how hard I tried, and I did try) but on the bars, I flew. I have dreams, sometimes, of being back on those bars, suspended upside down by the weight of my hands and arms and there is the feel of the chalk on my palms, the smell of polished wood in my nose. In the air, I was free. In the air my body didn't care about dead/paralyzed nerve connections, tight/clenched muscles, shaky balance, no fine motor coordination, poor depth perception. My body flew. My body, already born with gymnast dreams in mind somewhere in the marrow -- my body, small and slender and compact, was something in the air that it still isn't on the ground. I want, just once, to go to a gym and see the bars again. I want to see if I can still fly.
Internal cleansing. Blood purifying. Body detoxifying. I feel energized. Triphala. Burdock Root. Stinging Nettle Root. MSM. Inositol. Biotin. The muscles in my legs and arms and abs are so toned and everything inside is also toned. Gymnasts have so much outside tone. I'd like that. I think I will work for that. I don't want to be a gymnast. I'd rather dance. Not ballet. Just dance. I will work to that end. Cerebral Palsy be damned. I will learn to dance.
It's Friday. Jason will be playing tonight. I want to hear him. His voice is beautiful. My soul will dance to his music.
