Sympathy, Memory

[brightrosefox]

A quote from a dear friend's journal: "funny, in his arms i sleep every minute, or could. without him, the cold is more than i can bear."

And it brings my past roaring back.

I am not going give a cliche and say "I know how you feel" because...I *KNOW* how she feels. It's burned onto the inside of my skull as a black/white photo negative memory, all the nights alone in a cold third floor college dorm room, hearing the gasping moans across the quad, desperate for the days to go faster...the weeks...oh thank gods that's no more, I don't think I could take any more. Not my first. Not like that. How heart-ripping it can be to fall in love for the very first time, without touch, knowing that you can't touch yet and how, once you finally do, you must separate again and again and again and again till your insides threaten to crack and implode...and every day you're never sure that they won't...

So I give her my strength now, all of it, everything I held myself together with for two whole years, because I don't need it like that anymore. And so I may be complete and replete with the knowledge that soon enough she will be where I am now...

On another note: My body vibrates with predatory glee. My nerves are singing. He's curled up with his back to me, fresh from the shower, watching cartoons. Heat spills from his skin, with the smell of soap and steam, and I keep my fingers dancing on the keyboard, because they are aching so to dance on his neck shoulders back and I don't want to rush it...

Comments

[ronin-lethe.livejournal.com]

thank you, love.