I am beautiful/A good day
May. 2nd, 2006 01:56 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png)
Some days are better than others. Some days are much better than even those better days.
Today has been a day like that.
After I came back from my lunch break and went into the rest room to freshen up, brush my teeth, brush my hair, reapply some makeup, I noticed a marked difference in my posture and the way I carried myself generally. I was standing straighter, and I looked... happier. No actual reason that I could see. I brushed my teeth, combed out my hair, and reapplied the Estee Lauder Futurist foundation that has become so beloved. I took out the new BeneFit Working The Room eyeshadow, dipped my finger in, and dusted dark teal powder on my eyelids. I reapplied the Chanel Aqualumiere Portofino lipstick, the red berry that makes my lips look full and slick. I combed my hair again, watching it swing forward over my shoulders. It is close to its natural color again, and it has gotten so very long. Only six more inches till it hits my waist. I look more like my beautiful mother every day. In that instant, watching myself in the mirror, watching the mirror-girl's coy come-hither smoky-eyed expression, I realized that yes, today I am beautiful. Today I can be a goddess.
I believe part of this feeling is due to Lena's company last night. She is a small willowy almost sylph-like beauty but with a hard steel edge, could break your neck if she wanted, and I admire that so much. She always has good words, sweet words, has never said anything that would ever make me doubt the world. There is an aura about her that draws me, and I know that she is one of the few truly good people in this world. Other friends I talk to always say how kind she is, and when I hear about someone saying mean things about her, for any reason, I want to bite and claw and cry, because how could they? I think, perhaps they just misunderstand. They don't see. Or perhaps it is petty jealousy. Sometimes I am jealous of Lex for having her (but a good kind of jealousy) and I sincerely hope he knows just what he has. I understand the look in Lex's eyes some days. It is in my eyes too. This girl is special. And, just by being near me, touching me, looking at me, talking to me, she makes me feel special. There are very few friends of mine who can do that, Beca and Adam perhaps being the only other ones who can really make me feel so unbelievably powerfully beautiful just with a look and a word. I sometimes think I am in love with Lena, the way I am in love with Beca -- sister-love, heart-love, soul-love. I like this. I like having female friends who are so powerful and beautiful.
I think that today I will hold my head high and be proud for myself. With my deep teal eyeshadow and my red berry lipstick and my long wavy hair and I will smile.
Today has been a day like that.
After I came back from my lunch break and went into the rest room to freshen up, brush my teeth, brush my hair, reapply some makeup, I noticed a marked difference in my posture and the way I carried myself generally. I was standing straighter, and I looked... happier. No actual reason that I could see. I brushed my teeth, combed out my hair, and reapplied the Estee Lauder Futurist foundation that has become so beloved. I took out the new BeneFit Working The Room eyeshadow, dipped my finger in, and dusted dark teal powder on my eyelids. I reapplied the Chanel Aqualumiere Portofino lipstick, the red berry that makes my lips look full and slick. I combed my hair again, watching it swing forward over my shoulders. It is close to its natural color again, and it has gotten so very long. Only six more inches till it hits my waist. I look more like my beautiful mother every day. In that instant, watching myself in the mirror, watching the mirror-girl's coy come-hither smoky-eyed expression, I realized that yes, today I am beautiful. Today I can be a goddess.
I believe part of this feeling is due to Lena's company last night. She is a small willowy almost sylph-like beauty but with a hard steel edge, could break your neck if she wanted, and I admire that so much. She always has good words, sweet words, has never said anything that would ever make me doubt the world. There is an aura about her that draws me, and I know that she is one of the few truly good people in this world. Other friends I talk to always say how kind she is, and when I hear about someone saying mean things about her, for any reason, I want to bite and claw and cry, because how could they? I think, perhaps they just misunderstand. They don't see. Or perhaps it is petty jealousy. Sometimes I am jealous of Lex for having her (but a good kind of jealousy) and I sincerely hope he knows just what he has. I understand the look in Lex's eyes some days. It is in my eyes too. This girl is special. And, just by being near me, touching me, looking at me, talking to me, she makes me feel special. There are very few friends of mine who can do that, Beca and Adam perhaps being the only other ones who can really make me feel so unbelievably powerfully beautiful just with a look and a word. I sometimes think I am in love with Lena, the way I am in love with Beca -- sister-love, heart-love, soul-love. I like this. I like having female friends who are so powerful and beautiful.
I think that today I will hold my head high and be proud for myself. With my deep teal eyeshadow and my red berry lipstick and my long wavy hair and I will smile.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 05:59 pm (UTC)Hey, you should make a new icon photo to show us! :)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 06:04 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 06:03 pm (UTC)my heart is happy when you are happy.
i love you so much.
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 06:05 pm (UTC):)
no subject
Date: 2006-05-02 06:07 pm (UTC)I try!
♥
----------<@
Date: 2006-05-03 04:06 am (UTC)but perhaps your just to bizzy to notice
Re: ----------<@
Date: 2006-05-03 12:47 pm (UTC)But perhaps you too, are too busy to notice.
you are a goddess
Date: 2006-05-03 08:06 pm (UTC)Re: you are a goddess
Date: 2006-05-03 08:16 pm (UTC)