bide

Jun. 28th, 2007 09:28 am
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[personal profile] brightrosefox
When I talked to Adam last night, he told me that the job had been pulled off -- not a complete disaster, but still cutting it close. He said my mother had called him to give her support; that was cute. He was with Bane; Hi, Bane!

Mom and I wound up in an interesting conversation about my childhood and my personality, after discussing my medical conditions. Mom still believes most of my physical pain and fatigue issues are due to my allowing stress to overwhelm me (that's honestly not it; wouldn't it be nice if it were that). I tried not to bristle, because for many people, that sort of thinking leads to "It's all being exacerbated in your mind and by your thinking; so part of it is technically your fault." She made some very good points, but I still don't believe that the majority of my afflictions are nearly illusory and could be simply controlled and almost cured if I "just relaxed." I keep meaning to send her stuff on the harsh reality of anorexia and how most sufferers really don't have much choice, how their thoughts are influenced by outside compulsions; but I keep forgetting. I don't want to argue. I love her dearly, more than almost anyone, and arguing with her just makes me more upset.

Fuck, I hurt. All the muscle groups in my body are burning.
Flare.

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