Hush baby

[brightrosefox]

Last night -- probably because of the media coverage of Heath Ledger's death -- I dreamed about the one and only time I accidentally took one too many pills. It was during the anorexia years. I wasn't doing well, mentally. They were... energy pills. Okay, okay. Weight loss pills. I took them because I was dropping from fatigue and didn't know what to do. And I panicked. I told the ambulance workers I didn't want to go to a hospital, and they gave me oxygen and made sure my heart was fine and let me go, after making me swear I was okay and making me swear I'd talk to a psychologist, which I did. I didn't tell anyone else, besides Adam. I don't like to think about that day.
They say Ledger's OD was accidental, and I believe it. They say his mental state wasn't great, and I believe it. They say he probably hadn't quite realized how many pills he'd taken, and I believe it.
Today, while waiting for the Metro, I heard a woman say, "Why is Heath Ledger dead and Britney Spears still alive?" and I winced. No. Just, no.
Bad dreams can be like deep bruises revived. I remind myself to take deeper breaths.

I'm going to think about something happier.
Luna sleeping snuggled against me all night: I woke up before the alarm to find her casually propped up on my torso, grooming my hand and then my face. Settled in as if she owned me. Well, she does own me. And I love it.

Comments

[libwitch.livejournal.com]

I have had friends on various meds, both 'scrips and non, that when they get off a schedule, get out of it enough that they accidently overdose becuase they simply can't remember how much or what they have taken. Who knows what happened.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

I've doubled dosed on my epilepsy drug, because I couldn't remember if I'd taken it three hours earlier. It made me very woozy and sleepy, but thankfully that was it.

[chiyo-no-saru.livejournal.com]

Today, while waiting for the Metro, I heard a woman say, "Why is Heath Ledger dead and Britney Spears still alive?" and I winced. No. Just, no.

Amen. (To what you said, not to her.) I've heard a lot of people express that opinion--no one's life is worth any more than anyone else's! It just doesn't work that way.

At this point, I just feel so, so bad for Britney Spears. The poor girl needs help, and all she's getting is media hounding. Poor thing. I'd be flipping shit, too; I don't envy her her situation in the least.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Agreed. She needs to be taken to a treatment center, she needs to be evaluated for mental illness, she needs to sit down with psychiatrists and doctors. But apparently she won't. That's part of the problem. I've known people like her, and they can be incredibly stubborn about refusing medical treatment, especially if they don't think they're sick.
But to wish her that much ill? Gods, that's so wrong.

[chiyo-no-saru.livejournal.com]

Exactly. You took the words right out of my mouth, hon.

[queen-lily-rose.livejournal.com]

*HUGS*

heath vs brit

[shiefox.livejournal.com]

wouldent it be a teribul world if we all got what we realy justly deserved. im personaly satisfide knowing that its not all ways fair

Re: heath vs brit

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

True that.