Being Alice: The Deva Pill
Apr. 28th, 2008 11:46 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxOh, thank gods the DLPA and MSM combo is working. My right knee was screaming.
We're almost out of Blue Lotus extract. Now that's a nice painkiller.
I took a Soma pill last night and got nicely fuckered for a few hours. My doctor and I had a talk about the addiction and abuse potential, and we agreed that I should just take one tablet, in the evening, and not every day, just a few times a week. I confessed that Soma doesn't exactly make me feel high, it makes me feel normal. And feeling normal makes me feel high. And the Soma increases that feeling of being normal to the point where I feel high. She actually understood. I told her about the first time I took it, how I danced around the living room laughing and crying dizzily as every single muscle in my body loosened and relaxed and didn't know what to do with itself. I stumbled and staggered and swayed a lot. My body wasn't used to being so relaxed; it was confused as hell and struggling to adjust. I went from a permanent state of hypertonia and spasticity to almost no muscle coordination to being able to do things I'd never done before, in just over an hour. I was giggling madly because it felt so weird. I just felt so damn amazing. I kept wiggling the fingers of my left hand, wiggling the toes on my left foot, with a huge grin on my face. Because, you know, my fingers and toes don't really wiggle. The rush of endorphins was wholly unbelievable and incredible. I danced and laughed and felt nothing but joy. And when it passed, I became tired and I went to sleep.
The doctor listened to this, and then she smiled, and I swear her eyes teared up. She squeezed my arm and told me how wonderful that must have been. And that's when we solemnly agreed that because me on Soma is like a raver on ecstasy, I wouldn't make it a daily medication. I also would not take it with any other pain med or muscle relaxant. I'd observe my behavior. I'd make sure everything was fine. I won't take the Soma every day, for all those reasons, I can't, not ever. Because it's too intense, too bizarre, too thrilling, for me to experience every day. I know other people who take it and don't experience what I experience. It's just an analgesic muscle relaxant. But dear gods, it's so much more for me. I once told Adam tearfully that if I could ever find a prescription medication that could help erase the effects of my cerebral palsy, just for a few hours, I'd want it forever.
...
I just found it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soma
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carisoprodol
We're almost out of Blue Lotus extract. Now that's a nice painkiller.
I took a Soma pill last night and got nicely fuckered for a few hours. My doctor and I had a talk about the addiction and abuse potential, and we agreed that I should just take one tablet, in the evening, and not every day, just a few times a week. I confessed that Soma doesn't exactly make me feel high, it makes me feel normal. And feeling normal makes me feel high. And the Soma increases that feeling of being normal to the point where I feel high. She actually understood. I told her about the first time I took it, how I danced around the living room laughing and crying dizzily as every single muscle in my body loosened and relaxed and didn't know what to do with itself. I stumbled and staggered and swayed a lot. My body wasn't used to being so relaxed; it was confused as hell and struggling to adjust. I went from a permanent state of hypertonia and spasticity to almost no muscle coordination to being able to do things I'd never done before, in just over an hour. I was giggling madly because it felt so weird. I just felt so damn amazing. I kept wiggling the fingers of my left hand, wiggling the toes on my left foot, with a huge grin on my face. Because, you know, my fingers and toes don't really wiggle. The rush of endorphins was wholly unbelievable and incredible. I danced and laughed and felt nothing but joy. And when it passed, I became tired and I went to sleep.
The doctor listened to this, and then she smiled, and I swear her eyes teared up. She squeezed my arm and told me how wonderful that must have been. And that's when we solemnly agreed that because me on Soma is like a raver on ecstasy, I wouldn't make it a daily medication. I also would not take it with any other pain med or muscle relaxant. I'd observe my behavior. I'd make sure everything was fine. I won't take the Soma every day, for all those reasons, I can't, not ever. Because it's too intense, too bizarre, too thrilling, for me to experience every day. I know other people who take it and don't experience what I experience. It's just an analgesic muscle relaxant. But dear gods, it's so much more for me. I once told Adam tearfully that if I could ever find a prescription medication that could help erase the effects of my cerebral palsy, just for a few hours, I'd want it forever.
...
I just found it.
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Soma
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Carisoprodol
