Pain Diary, and a Music Meme
Jul. 9th, 2008 08:56 am![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxIn pain today. Severely dragging. Aching and twisting and spasming. Fiery pinprick needles in every muscle. It's raining, finally, but that makes it worse. I'm throbbing all over, just one giant bleeding heartbeat.
To make matters a bit worse, something last night triggered those anorexia scars, ripped them right open, and now all I can think about is the fat around my waist. Grar.
I miss my husband.
My kitten curls up against me as tight as she can when I sleep, and sometimes she curls up directly under my chin; I fall asleep to her purring. But kitten is no true substitute for human.
I've been keeping quiet about this, but here you are, journal. I feel that soon I will lose huge parts of myself to the pain and I won't get them back. I'm becoming patchwork. So if you could patch me up, what materials would you use? How would you fix up the parts that don't fit right anymore? Because I don't know how I would.
Music heals me. My cell phone ringtones are two Enya songs and a Deep Forest song and a Sting song.
So now, a meme:
When you think of me, what music comes to mind?
To make matters a bit worse, something last night triggered those anorexia scars, ripped them right open, and now all I can think about is the fat around my waist. Grar.
I miss my husband.
My kitten curls up against me as tight as she can when I sleep, and sometimes she curls up directly under my chin; I fall asleep to her purring. But kitten is no true substitute for human.
I've been keeping quiet about this, but here you are, journal. I feel that soon I will lose huge parts of myself to the pain and I won't get them back. I'm becoming patchwork. So if you could patch me up, what materials would you use? How would you fix up the parts that don't fit right anymore? Because I don't know how I would.
Music heals me. My cell phone ringtones are two Enya songs and a Deep Forest song and a Sting song.
So now, a meme:
When you think of me, what music comes to mind?
