A Fine Line
Jun. 5th, 2009 03:11 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxhttp://well.blogs.nytimes.com/2009/06/04/giving-patients-what-they-want/
The comments here are fascinating and profound.
In general (and to reiterate something I've said before) I do wish people would stop insisting that others do things because "this is how I do it, you should do it too." Not everyone benefits from the same exact thing, be it medical treatment, nutrition plan, exercise routine, lifestyle, way of thinking, religion, or place of residence.
Some people, upon hearing that a friend has an unfortunate medical condition, will stop at nothing to hound the patient with advice. They don't do this gently. They do this insistently, almost in a bullying manner: "If you do this, your condition will greatly improve! Come on, do it! Why won't you do what I say? You're being stupid if you don't take my advice." Having several unfortunate medical conditions, I truly understand the burning desire to help others like myself. However, I suggest suggesting. Gentle offerings of advice, if the other person asks for advice: "Well, this treatment worked for me. Everyone is different, so I can't say it will work for you, but it might be worth a shot. If you do try it, please let me know how it works for you." If the person refuses, I don't press the matter further. I accept their wishes. I don't suggest that the person move to a better climate, I don't insist that the person take a certain medication. That, I feel, would be a type of bullying, and it certainly would not make the person feel better.
Something I have been noticing: In the forums for fibromyalgia that I frequent, many members say that they can't talk about their illness to their friends or blog readers anymore, since people keep using the "bully tactic" on them, or virtually roll their eyes: "Oh, here she goes again, whining about her pain. Why doesn't she just move? XYZ state would work better for her due to its climate. Then we wouldn't have to listen to her complain." The problem is that no two fibromyalgia patients are alike. Some are cold-intolerant. Some are heat-intolerant. Some do very well in humid conditions. Some do better in dry conditions. Some are in between. Some are all over the place. I read these entries in which members say they feel they have nowhere else to turn but the forums, and I want to hug them. Sometimes I wonder if the people who insist and demand are really seeking a way to make themselves feel better by placating the patient.
Doctors, on the other hand, have a good deal of medical knowledge and are doctors for a reason. Some of them are shitty, but in general, most of them know what they're doing. I do wish that there was a better balance between doctors and patients when it comes to deciding what is best for an individual patient. I don't think letting the patient make all the decisions is a good idea, and neither is letting the doctor make all the decisions.
The comments here are fascinating and profound.
In general (and to reiterate something I've said before) I do wish people would stop insisting that others do things because "this is how I do it, you should do it too." Not everyone benefits from the same exact thing, be it medical treatment, nutrition plan, exercise routine, lifestyle, way of thinking, religion, or place of residence.
Some people, upon hearing that a friend has an unfortunate medical condition, will stop at nothing to hound the patient with advice. They don't do this gently. They do this insistently, almost in a bullying manner: "If you do this, your condition will greatly improve! Come on, do it! Why won't you do what I say? You're being stupid if you don't take my advice." Having several unfortunate medical conditions, I truly understand the burning desire to help others like myself. However, I suggest suggesting. Gentle offerings of advice, if the other person asks for advice: "Well, this treatment worked for me. Everyone is different, so I can't say it will work for you, but it might be worth a shot. If you do try it, please let me know how it works for you." If the person refuses, I don't press the matter further. I accept their wishes. I don't suggest that the person move to a better climate, I don't insist that the person take a certain medication. That, I feel, would be a type of bullying, and it certainly would not make the person feel better.
Something I have been noticing: In the forums for fibromyalgia that I frequent, many members say that they can't talk about their illness to their friends or blog readers anymore, since people keep using the "bully tactic" on them, or virtually roll their eyes: "Oh, here she goes again, whining about her pain. Why doesn't she just move? XYZ state would work better for her due to its climate. Then we wouldn't have to listen to her complain." The problem is that no two fibromyalgia patients are alike. Some are cold-intolerant. Some are heat-intolerant. Some do very well in humid conditions. Some do better in dry conditions. Some are in between. Some are all over the place. I read these entries in which members say they feel they have nowhere else to turn but the forums, and I want to hug them. Sometimes I wonder if the people who insist and demand are really seeking a way to make themselves feel better by placating the patient.
Doctors, on the other hand, have a good deal of medical knowledge and are doctors for a reason. Some of them are shitty, but in general, most of them know what they're doing. I do wish that there was a better balance between doctors and patients when it comes to deciding what is best for an individual patient. I don't think letting the patient make all the decisions is a good idea, and neither is letting the doctor make all the decisions.
