Heaven 2.0
Jan. 21st, 2003 02:15 pmAdam wants me to help him write a science fiction novel about a world in which dead people are "downloaded" into a digital afterlife. It's been bouncing around in my head all day so I typed out a few paragraphs to see how it might sound and I emailed it to him; waiting for his approval.
So much stuff to do for work. Fixing shelf lists, doing the drop-filing, helping the lawyers find stuff...brain's moving a mile a minute. Wow, I feel apathetically indifferent to things. On my mailing list, some guy mentioned how he wants to die and I emailed him back saying, "I know lots of interesting ways; wanna hear?" I guess part of me was being cold and callous and thinking, Okay buddy, you want to die? Quit whining about it and do it. Here's your gun/knife/rope/cliff/poison. Have a blast.
Sorry. Don't usually think this way. But I'm starting to feel sort of uncaring toward the world's/other people's major issues, like suicide. All I can do is hold them and tell them I don't want them to kill themselves and they go ahead and do it anyway. So fuck them. Their choice.
I don't know what's wrong with me today. Might be depression. Who the hell knows. But I know one thing--I don't wanna kill myself. That's just pointless. I have too many things to be happy about, and one of them sleeps beside me every night.
So much stuff to do for work. Fixing shelf lists, doing the drop-filing, helping the lawyers find stuff...brain's moving a mile a minute. Wow, I feel apathetically indifferent to things. On my mailing list, some guy mentioned how he wants to die and I emailed him back saying, "I know lots of interesting ways; wanna hear?" I guess part of me was being cold and callous and thinking, Okay buddy, you want to die? Quit whining about it and do it. Here's your gun/knife/rope/cliff/poison. Have a blast.
Sorry. Don't usually think this way. But I'm starting to feel sort of uncaring toward the world's/other people's major issues, like suicide. All I can do is hold them and tell them I don't want them to kill themselves and they go ahead and do it anyway. So fuck them. Their choice.
I don't know what's wrong with me today. Might be depression. Who the hell knows. But I know one thing--I don't wanna kill myself. That's just pointless. I have too many things to be happy about, and one of them sleeps beside me every night.