Being Alice: Little Earthquakes

[brightrosefox]

Fuck, I hate the smaller seizures that cause muscle issues. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.

The last one was on September 22nd. Thank the gods I keep writing them down here.

It began with extreme disorientation and a sense of being pulled out of my body. For a second, I didn't recognize my surroundings in my bedroom. Then the entire left side of my body twitched violently, and I stumbled and caught myself on the edge of the bed. Curse after curse flew out of my mouth and I felt the strong urge to cry or scream. My brain felt overloaded and overheated. And then it was over. My head was spinning.

I went to the bathroom and checked my face and eyes in the mirror. I looked tired, ragged, and sweaty, with dark circles blooming under my eyes. My eyes had a haunted, faraway look. And I can't explain this, but sometimes after a seizure, when I can look myself in the eyes, my irises look like they are flecked with gold. It fades after a while. I have no clue what that's about.

I took my dose of Trileptal immediately afterward, since it was time for my pill anyway. I'll take some Tryptophan and Valerian later.

Gnar.

Comments

[saffronrose.livejournal.com]

Trileptal was my second attempt at a mood stabilizer. No matter the dosage, it didn't work enough.
I hope that it works better for you in the capacity for which you take it.

The gold flecking in your eyes does sound interesting, but I'm sure you'd pass on the effect if you could stop the seizures.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Trileptal has been working beautifully for me since 2006, which fascinates me, since I keep hearing that it doesn't work well for others. Shows how different people are.

[saffronrose.livejournal.com]

We'd all be happier if it were easier to figure out which psych/neuro medication(s) worked best for each person--trial and error is the pits, as you know.

BTW, I looked at photos of Megan Fox, didn't find anything terribly attractive, or like you. I looked at the singer's website, and I can see why you'd rather have her face (at least)--very distinctive and will age well.