Oh. Wow.

[brightrosefox]

http://www.butyoudontlooksick.com/spoons.htm

Got this from alumiere ....

This is about using spoons to demonstrate the levels of pain you go through with everyday tasks if you have a chronic illness or handicap. In this case, it was Lupus.
Wow. Very amazing.

I can't say much about the cerebral palsy now, since it's very under control. I still have so many moments when I slip up, but everyone does, whether or not they have a handicap. Yes, everyone stumbles, falls, limps, drags, shakes, trembles, spasms, clenches, fumbles, slips, trips, locks up, and freezes. It's normal. It's very normal. I just get very very tired very very easily, because I have each and every one of those things happen to me all the time. My body tries to betray me no matter how hard I push it. This is why when I have to sit down and rest, I mean it. I don't mean to separate myself from everyone else; on the contrary, I am everyone else. Granted, not everyone else has a diagnosis of cerebral palsy, but everyone else does have various things wrong with their bodies that make it very difficult to do every day things. My situation is that I have to remember never to push my body past its limits -- and that those limits are not as high as everyone else. It's no big deal at all. Just something I was thinking of.

Again: I am NOT whining about "my poor physical disability, boo hoo, poor me, all alone." Absolutely fucking not. We all have issues. You are diagnosed with something, or you have an accident, or something happens that changes your body's ability to function the way it used to. Nobody is perfect. But there are certain things expected of the body, and when the body fails to perform these rituals properly and properly, that is frustrating. So, take this rant as you want to take it. It's not about me. It's about everyone. At some point in time, every single fucking person will have problems with something. But do they have them every day? From morning to night? That is what this article is trying to explain about the woman's predicament with Lupus.

I'm sorry. Yell at me. Tell me I'm idiotic and I have completely missed the point of everything I've learned about my limits and my body and about everyone else and that I can do anything I want, despite getting tired quickly, stumbling and falling over my own left foot, the pain that wracks my muscles every day from the strain of working them. I just ... was very touched by this confession of spoons.

Comments

[ronin-lethe.livejournal.com]

no, love.
things ARE different for you. they are different for all of us. i think, and have always thought, that you are very brave and strong for facing your challenges head-on.
giving in to despair and self pity will get you yelled at, by a lot of people. but you have every fucking right in the world to say "owch". because everyone claims that right. and after all, you're no different *grin*
i love you very much.

[moronqueen.livejournal.com]

Came accross that long ago...applies quite well to Asthma, too...heh...asthma's so unpredictable, though, no matter how well you may know your body, something can change at the drop of a hat and land ya in the hospital, as it almost happened quite a few times for me last year.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

I understand that! How has it been lately for you?

[moronqueen.livejournal.com]

Kinda iffy...was excelent for a while, but over the past few days, I've been feeling the lung damage...no outright attacks, though...just minor pain throughout my chest, slight tightening and conjestion...

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Yeesh. I've felt traces of that. I haven't done a peak flow test since my doctor's visit, but I did do the standard exhale a couple of weeks ago, and it was very wheezy and tight ... then again, it was probably because the pollen count outside was something like thirteen hundred! (it gets "very bad" at two hundred...)

[moronqueen.livejournal.com]

*noddles* Yeah...losta allergies for lotsa people popping up this time of year...it's connected to the city and work for me, though...car exhaust, dust and cigarette smoke = bad.