Tired but not quite

[brightrosefox]

We made cupcakes. They are awesome. We added frozen blueberries to chocolate cake mix, and then we used Nutella as frosting for half the cupcakes. They're so soft and fluffy, with gooey blueberries throughout. I plan on making them often, perhaps with a healthier cake mix.

When I was a child, I didn't understand Christmas. Not the religious part, not the insane shopping spree part, not the frantic cooking part. While I loved opening presents under a tree, I felt conflicted, because I just didn't feel the way others seemed to feel. I thought the religion part of Christmas was bizarre and ridiculous. I thought the shopping part was weird and scary. I was an odd child, I guess. My mother and father, atheist and agnostic, celebrated all holidays as secular social gatherings separate from their religious families; that might have influenced me a bit.
I just know that I'm not feeling any "holiday joy" right now. I'm just happy to have made cupcakes and have gotten gifts for friends that I would have gotten any day. I don't know. I'm probably being a bitch. Holiday season, etcetera, I suck because I'm not into it. I've been feeling like this for over a week now. It's probably the weather. Literally. I think winter might be affecting me. Also, that seizure I had a couple of weeks ago didn't help. I just feel emotionally unwell.

This morning, I woke up to find that Rose had pushed herself under my arm and curled up. It looked like I was cuddling a stuffed animal. Luna was stretched out between my feet. Jupiter was lying against my leg. I love my cats.

Comments

[beepea.livejournal.com]

My family are all Athiests as well. I think the majority of my Christmas joy when I was younger came from the belief that Father Christmas was coming and that I was going to be rewarded for being "good" with presents. When I got older it was all about seeing my older Brother and Sister and it's the same today.. all I want to do is see them tomorrow, possibly get a bit squiffy on port.

I hope you find some joy and excitement over the next couple of days, I'm sure I would with cats that sound as lovely as yours :)

xxx

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Yeah, that sounds about right. :)
Of course, by the time I was seven I knew my parents and other people bought all my presents, but I decided to see Santa Claus as a mythological demi-god who approved of humans giving gifts (I was obsessed with Greek mythology for a while as a kid).

[sunnysky.livejournal.com]

i don'r know if you've ever tried coconut flour, but these muffins (http://www.elanaspantry.com/blueberry-muffins/) are so good! throw in some cocoa powder & maybe some chocolate chips & you're good to go. i sub honey & butter for the agave & grapeseed. definitely healthy, what with the good fats in coconut & all that protein. YUM! :)

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

You know, I had brought up the subject of coconuts with Adam while we were making the cupcakes! I said you could do anything wit coconut these days. I've never tried coconut flour. I really want to.

[quicksilver555.livejournal.com]

i never understood the commercailism of it all either.well,happy holidays!

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

Kind of takes the magic out of any holiday. :)