More somewhat random creativity

[brightrosefox]

Well, I feel dumb. All this time when I was copying and pasting scenes from the book, I was manually converting all the puncuation marks. I just now realized that LJ has a Rich Text File converter, and MS Word has a "Save as Web Page" option. Duh. So now that I know this, I'll be able post a lot more easily. Which I'm sure a couple of people will appreciate. It's nice when a writer gets "I want more!" messages. To my well-appreciated critics: Remember, this is still in the editing stage, and I am posting random scenes, so descriptions will probably be minimal because scenes are usually actions. I will post more descriptive scenes, as I feel like it.

Oh, yes, and for those curious about why I don't usually get too descriptive with certain astral plane scenes: In my world, the astral plane isn't one single defined place. It's whatever the traveler's mindset is. Barren landscapes, colorful explosions, whatever. So if I say that the astral plane doesn't have much to look at, it doesn't have much to look at. I enjoy leaving things to a reader's imagination. But when there's a lot going on, believe me, I can ramble on with the best of them. I just don't do that "Wheel of Time" thing where a character is staring at gentle reeds blowing in the wind on a lake -- for eight pages. *shudder*

So far, people who have read over what I have like the minimal descriptiveness of the astral plane, since they can picture what the character sees (or doesn't see) without so many words. But this is why I joined three creative writing communities -- to get more constructive criticism. More description? How? Why? How should I describe what might as well be nothingness?

The following scene is just a real-world moment between the boys; no astral plane yet. But I like this one, and it follows up with all the other random scenes I've posted (which I need to find and gather for one big link post!)

*****

Ian opened his eyes. Someone was shaking him roughly. He reached up and caught a wrist that was very close to his face.

Thomas jerked back slightly, his features blurring into view. “What happened?” he asked.

With a groan, Ian pushed himself up on the couch arm. “You tell me.”

His brother was shaking his head. “I have no clue. Something slammed into me. I fell. Something got past my shields.”

Ian gazed at him, slightly incredulous. “Is it safe for me to say ‘oh shit’ now, or should we wait to panic?”

Tom shook his head. “My mistake. I wasn’t concentrating. Look, I may be good at defense, but this is our house, Ian. Nothing gets in here. I relax in here. I’ve watched you relax, and you have a hell of a lot more raw power than I do. Which means that we’ve been found out again.”

This time, Ian sat up all the way and let his head drop into his hands. “Fuck,” he whispered.

His brother touched his shoulder. “Yeah.”

“By the way,” Ian murmured. “You better not start doubting yourself now. Not when we’ve got Kara and Dana.”

There was a pause. “I’m not.”

“Good. Keep it that way. I’m not uprooting and changing our lives again just because you decide to skew our balance.”

He sensed Tom about to reply, then pause, then murmur in agreement. Thomas was exactly two minutes younger than him—in fact, they had just celebrated their twenty-fourth birthday last month—and sometimes Ian wondered just how much talent had been equally distributed. They were identical in energy signatures and degrees of talent; just at different ends of the spectrum. They were both risk-takers, death-cheaters, knowing that the circumstances of their births and their lives had given them a charmed existence. Ian had his fair share of scars. Tom’s were less physical and more mental, but it didn’t make much of a difference. Ian was stronger in offense, he knew, but Thomas was better at defense. The fact that neither of them had seen this attack coming made him wonder if moving back here had been the right thing to do. The family had moved a lot since Ian and Thomas were fourteen, since their parents had found out about their sons’ tendencies to attract psychic animosity. It had taken Thomas a lot of convincing to reassure mom and dad that he and Ian would be safer on their own. Ian had not argued; he’d been looking forward to this amount of freedom for a long time.

In the silence, he lifted his head and caught his brother watching him. He blinked.

Thomas didn’t break his gaze. You’re worried about them. Dana and Kara.

Ian shifted his eyes. What makes you say that?

His mouth a thin line, Thomas stood up and sat on the couch. “Just before I got hit…Dana’s face flashed in front of me. And she’s the neophyte.”

“So?”

Thomas let out a soft breath. “I would imagine the things that’ve been chasing us would want to go after someone new…someone we care about.”

Ian’s eyes narrowed. “Then we’ll just have to kill them a little quicker.”

“If that’s possible.”

“It’s possible.” Ian pressed his fingers to his eyes.

“Your eyes changed,” Thomas noted lightly, and he nodded. They always did, when he was concentrating; from a deep blue-gray and gold to cobalt and fire.

“Don’t you dare trance out on me,” Thomas growled from far off. He watched the other boy’s lips move, heard sound, but not with his ears. Air seemed to shiver and solidify around him. He snapped himself awake.

“Not unless I have to,” he said, and grinned.

“Can’t argue with that…” Thomas sighed. “Stay there. I’ll get you some food.”

“Why?”

“Because I know you, and every time you stave off any sort of attack, you need food and decided you really don’t want it, and then I have you yell at you because mom and dad aren’t around to.”

Ian held up his hands. “Fair enough.” 

Comments

[mistressrenet.livejournal.com]

Don't use MS Word-- their HTML is bloated beyond absurdity, use the LJ option. I hadn't known that either so I'm glad you pointed it out.

I'm glad you don't describe the astral plane too much-- I like having it up to the reader.

[brightrosefox.livejournal.com]

ARGH! I see what you mean now. Fucknuts. Thanks.