Demonic Writerly Motivation

[brightrosefox]

Dear Friends:
Do not tell me I will be a great author. Do not tell me I will finish this novel in record time and go on to land a major publisher and become so popular I will win awards. Do not tell me I will succeed. Tell me I will fail. Tell me I have no chance. Tell me I will be terrible.
My fear comes from the fear of failure, of success, of fear itself. I fear being bad, I fear being great. My motivation will be the intention of failure, not success.
I know this seems strange and awful. Don't worry. This will urge me on. This will make my writerbrain say, "Oh yeah? I'll show you! I'll make this great. I'll make this beautiful."
And I will. But don't tell me that.
<3

Comments

[oneonthefence.livejournal.com]

This is what I always hear from beta-readers and people who have skimmed my short fiction/LJ Idol entries/etc:

"Why are you not published yet? You are so good. You really should be a published author by now. You'd have so much more money. Why haven't you submitted your work to major publishers yet? You should. Everyone would buy it."

Most of the people who say those things are readers, and that's wonderful and touching and boosts my ego. But most of those people aren't writers. They don't know that even the best, most prolific, and deeply profound writers are usually rejected time and time again, and they don't face that fear. They also don't get that writing is a job. It's not just "when inspiration hits." It's when you sit your ass down on the couch/a chair/at the kitchen table and WORK.

I think MOST writers get that. Not all, but most. And while it's a wonderful thing to hear, "You should be published! You should be rich! Everyone should read your work!" - well, if that is going to happen, it will. But it will when I'm ready, and if publishers, agents, and editors want my work (none of whom I know personally, as I lost all my connections when I became disabled and left Hopkins, so I'm working with no one in my back pocket - unfortunate, as many people know an agent, or an editor, who can push manuscripts through for them). If my words are beautiful, great. But in a tight market that only wants specific genres and characters right now (think: Vampires), things will proceed in due time, and when the market is ready.

[brightlotusmoon.livejournal.com]

Thank you for all of this. :)