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brightrosefoxSo, yeah, here's the thing. *ahem*
Yeah. So, about my strong pain relieving and muscle relaxing pharmaceutical prescription drugs? The ones that might "some day cause a major addiction"? They won't work unless I am in such severe pain and distress that I am crying and clenched in agony. No, really.
This is why, whenever a pill of Soma kicks in, I briefly act like I am melting and euphoric and slightly ecstatic and kind of in tears of joy.
Because, you know, it is actually helping my muscles loosen up, which does not and can not happen naturally, since my damage from birth caused spastic cerebral palsy and hypertonia... which, if you are so smart, you would know causes permanent muscle tension, spasticity, and constant clenching throughout various parts of the body depending on which parts of the brain were damaged.
And unless you know what that feels like, you cannot say shit to me. Unless you know how it feels to have every. single. muscle. in. your. whole. body. loosen and relax and unclench and quit spasming and lose that extreme tension, all at once, you have absolutely no right to criticize me, bully me, or insist that you know beyond all doubt that I will become "fully addicted" to Soma or Baclofen or Ultram or Codeine. Even if you were a doctor. Since, you know, you've never met me outside of internet networks.
You cannot tell me that I will abuse those medications - because, in fact, I can't. I literally won't be able to abuse them. They don't work if I am not in enough pain to need them. My body has not adapted to them. My body has not developed a tolerance to them. I have no dependence on them. And there is no point in taking those pills unless I actually require them to, you know, function, to be what you call normal.
So, really, you don't need to send me messages expressing your concern and worry about my prescription pain drugs. I, my body, and my doctors are fine without your concern. Really.
*facepunch with cinderblock, etc.*
Sorry. Having a moment.
Yeah. So, about my strong pain relieving and muscle relaxing pharmaceutical prescription drugs? The ones that might "some day cause a major addiction"? They won't work unless I am in such severe pain and distress that I am crying and clenched in agony. No, really.
This is why, whenever a pill of Soma kicks in, I briefly act like I am melting and euphoric and slightly ecstatic and kind of in tears of joy.
Because, you know, it is actually helping my muscles loosen up, which does not and can not happen naturally, since my damage from birth caused spastic cerebral palsy and hypertonia... which, if you are so smart, you would know causes permanent muscle tension, spasticity, and constant clenching throughout various parts of the body depending on which parts of the brain were damaged.
And unless you know what that feels like, you cannot say shit to me. Unless you know how it feels to have every. single. muscle. in. your. whole. body. loosen and relax and unclench and quit spasming and lose that extreme tension, all at once, you have absolutely no right to criticize me, bully me, or insist that you know beyond all doubt that I will become "fully addicted" to Soma or Baclofen or Ultram or Codeine. Even if you were a doctor. Since, you know, you've never met me outside of internet networks.
You cannot tell me that I will abuse those medications - because, in fact, I can't. I literally won't be able to abuse them. They don't work if I am not in enough pain to need them. My body has not adapted to them. My body has not developed a tolerance to them. I have no dependence on them. And there is no point in taking those pills unless I actually require them to, you know, function, to be what you call normal.
So, really, you don't need to send me messages expressing your concern and worry about my prescription pain drugs. I, my body, and my doctors are fine without your concern. Really.
*facepunch with cinderblock, etc.*
Sorry. Having a moment.
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no subject
Date: 2013-01-31 06:32 am (UTC)I had a "friend" that kept insinuating that I was an addict, because her aunt with fibro was an addict. She kept encouraging me to toss all my meds and go natural. I was like... WTF. You claim to be my friend but apparently WANT me to be in crippling pain?
None of those particular drugs are all that addictive ANYWAY. Codeine is fucking LOW on the opiate scale.
Also, someone needs to learn the difference between addiction and physical dependence. Guess what, I am dependent on my psych meds too, because without them I am crazypants. Or what about my dad who was on insulin? Is he an addict? IF IT IS TO FIX A PROBLEM WITH THE BODY, IT IS NOT AN ADDICTION, YOU NUMNUTS.
Not that this is a rant of mine or anything too.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-31 09:07 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2013-01-31 11:29 am (UTC)I take clonazepam sometimes. Maybe once or twice a month, sometimes three or four times in a week if I'm fending off a cluster of panic attacks, but then not for weeks after. So, not often.
And I have had it drilled into my head so hard that DRUGS are BAD and OMG ADDICTION and HOLY FUCKBALLS THAT SHIT IS BAD FOR YOU that I am:
1) afraid to take them if I am not *sure* I need them, which means I often suffer through panic attacks I could have medicated when I felt them brewing, if I'd just given myself permission to do it.
2) fucking terrified that the next time I have to have my scrip renewed, the doctor won't do it, never mind the fact that I haven't had a renewal in over two and a half YEARS because the initial scrip was for 1 pill 3x daily, which gave me a huge starting pool. IIRC, there were two refills on it I never used. But I am terrified some asshole doctor will take the best tool I have for the acute anxiety away from me because DRUGS are BAD and OMG ADDICTION. So I hoard those pills. I'm down to my last couple dozen, and I don't know what I'll do when those are gone, because the place I'm getting my meds prescribed at apparently doesn't write or fill those prescriptions (maybe they just don't stock it in the pharmacy because they work helping recovering drug addicts, is all I can figure). So I guess I ask for a refill next time I go to fucking Planned Parenthood? IDEFK. Maybe I'll tell them my vagina gets really nervous or something.
Neither of these fears are based on anything that's happened to me, but I still have them.
I am also bone-deep terrified of being injured or very ill and needing pain meds, and not being able to get them.
Why all this? Because of how many stories I have heard from my friends about doctors who do this shit. Like, almost every single one who deals with pain or crazy issues. So I'm kinda just waiting for it to happen to me.
The incidental random drive-by internet assholes who insist that Drugs Are BAD and we should all stop taking them immediately are only the sprinkles on the cake. They can't actually deny me anything. Just give me shit about what is best for me.
Gargh. I'm sorry. I'm talking about me. We should be talking about what dickheads people are apparently being to or around YOU.
*points* DICKHEADS.
I hope you aren't offended when I say I'm really interested by the fact that the stuff only affects you when you need it, and not otherwise. That is . . . just really interesting. We're just taught to be so fucking afraid of that stuff, like taking it even once makes you a potential addict and thus a Risk To Children and The Queen's Peace or whatever. The idea that a drug wouldn't work unless there is something to work ON is never, ever discussed.
no subject
Date: 2013-01-31 09:06 pm (UTC)OMG, Same here. Waiting.
Also, please talk about you more on here!
Nah, not offended AT ALL.
Totally. Intrigued. Fascinated that you are interested, in fact. Yeah, I don't know how many other people have this very specific type of reaction or non-reaction.
I know it's rare and off. But, well, let's say I'm feeling generally good, and I decide to take a a Soma just because what the hell, I'm feeling tense. Once it kicks in, I feel a little bit physically relaxed, but it's more like "Meh." So I assume I'm not in enough distress to need it and I put the bottle way. I'm certainly NOT going to take a second pill. How would that help, anyway? I mean, it may just be a weird version of self-control.
I've heard of non-crippled people who will take two or three Soma pills at a time to get a "high." And I don't understand. I truly naively don't. Like, how can it work if there is nothing to work on? Maybe it's just me...