I feel better, I think. Wait, no I don't
Mar. 1st, 2005 07:06 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxI placed a bid on this dress today. I will most likely get it. I'll order it in a size 3 and have it taken in, since of course it's usually easier to make it smaller than make it bigger.
I was also thinking about this dress but I don't like the back as much.
I realized something, right before I placed that bid: It's okay if the dress is simple. It's okay if I buy it from Ebay. It's not a big deal. It's a tiny, simple ceremony. It won't be the huge wedding we'll have in a year or so, with everyone and everything. I like these dress styles. The wedding is less than two months away. I don't care if other people won't like the dress. I do. And Ebay is a perfectly fine place to buy clothing.
I noticed that my mood drops significantly as soon as I leave work to go home. This has been happening for about a month. I know that it's just me, reacting to all the stress and anxiety, picking up on everything. The rush rush of everything. Being bombarded with questions and suggestions left and right before there is time to think. Where would I put that chandelier? I don't even have a house yet! Leave me alone! Let me think! Let me be! PLEASE!
I won't even be able to take any more vacation time, because I HAVE to be at work. So, no honeymoon unless it's a weekend. And where would we go? What would we do?
Right now, I don't care. I just... don't care. I don't want to think about May. I want to think about now. And then I want to think about tomorrow. And then the next day. And so forth.
I'll just be relieved when it's all done with.
I was also thinking about this dress but I don't like the back as much.
I realized something, right before I placed that bid: It's okay if the dress is simple. It's okay if I buy it from Ebay. It's not a big deal. It's a tiny, simple ceremony. It won't be the huge wedding we'll have in a year or so, with everyone and everything. I like these dress styles. The wedding is less than two months away. I don't care if other people won't like the dress. I do. And Ebay is a perfectly fine place to buy clothing.
I noticed that my mood drops significantly as soon as I leave work to go home. This has been happening for about a month. I know that it's just me, reacting to all the stress and anxiety, picking up on everything. The rush rush of everything. Being bombarded with questions and suggestions left and right before there is time to think. Where would I put that chandelier? I don't even have a house yet! Leave me alone! Let me think! Let me be! PLEASE!
I won't even be able to take any more vacation time, because I HAVE to be at work. So, no honeymoon unless it's a weekend. And where would we go? What would we do?
Right now, I don't care. I just... don't care. I don't want to think about May. I want to think about now. And then I want to think about tomorrow. And then the next day. And so forth.
I'll just be relieved when it's all done with.
