The Return To Innocence

Well, fuck.
Sorry to post these here, guys. But I am having one of those weird creepy mental moments, this time regarding body dysmorphic disorder. Logically and rationally, I know I am not full of bad excess fatness and ugliness and stupidness. Logically and rationally, I know I am a pretty girl and a beautiful woman and I am wonderful and amazing in many ways. But you know mental interestingness. It is always interesting. In that way that makes you want to beat it with a sledgehammer.
No teasing, please. No mocking, no creative harmless insults, no poor humor. Not even out of love. Not right now. Maybe later when I am feeling better; we shall laugh and share whiskey and watch science fiction and cartoons.
But you know what? I know I am not alone. I know I have comfort out there. I know things will be all right. I know people understand so deeply that it goes beyond the soul. You know who you are, and I love you. <3

Articles on the destructiveness of eating disorders.
http://www.self.com/livingwell/articles/2007/01/0606notime_singlepage (a controversial new treatment)
http://www.msnbc.msn.com/id/21692426/ (diabetic women dying to be thin)

I'm still fighting, so you know. Every day. Anorexia can be healed, we can recover; but I think there will always be those little battles.

I also wish people would stop calling anorexia stupid, or not real. Don't speak ill unless you've been there.

My mother and I had a long talk over the phone. She understands now. I don't think she did before.

I will always remember what it was like to come back to life.