Anorexia is not a choice
Jan. 31st, 2007 12:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxI was reading an article about how anorexia may be a disease, and another personal opinion that anorexia is just stupidity and ignorance.
People who insist that anorexia is a choice and entirely the fault of the "victim" make me want to cry. I never chose to go through that torture. I never wanted to starve myself. Why the hell would I want to do that? I truly felt that something had overcome me, and I was pushed far back inside myself, beating against the walls of my own psyche, screaming. Do you really think I would have spent all those years hurting myself on purpose? It hurt to eat, it physically hurt. More than a few bites and I was in pain. Yeah, that's a fucking choice.
It hurt worse when my own mother said it, that it had been a choice on my part to continue the cycle. I don't blame her for thinking that, but then she really doesn't know much about the inner workings of anorexia -- she didn't even know I was sick until long after I had recovered.
But the people who know, and still think it's a "stupid decision" hurt me. I really don't think any of these people have ever had an eating disorder.
People who insist that anorexia is a choice and entirely the fault of the "victim" make me want to cry. I never chose to go through that torture. I never wanted to starve myself. Why the hell would I want to do that? I truly felt that something had overcome me, and I was pushed far back inside myself, beating against the walls of my own psyche, screaming. Do you really think I would have spent all those years hurting myself on purpose? It hurt to eat, it physically hurt. More than a few bites and I was in pain. Yeah, that's a fucking choice.
It hurt worse when my own mother said it, that it had been a choice on my part to continue the cycle. I don't blame her for thinking that, but then she really doesn't know much about the inner workings of anorexia -- she didn't even know I was sick until long after I had recovered.
But the people who know, and still think it's a "stupid decision" hurt me. I really don't think any of these people have ever had an eating disorder.
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no subject
Date: 2007-01-31 06:20 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-31 07:09 pm (UTC)no subject
Date: 2007-01-31 07:13 pm (UTC)If you want to talk about it, I'll listen, by the way.
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Date: 2007-02-01 02:13 pm (UTC)