Anorexia is not a choice
Jan. 31st, 2007 12:02 pm![[personal profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/user.png){kind=small}
brightrosefoxI was reading an article about how anorexia may be a disease, and another personal opinion that anorexia is just stupidity and ignorance.
People who insist that anorexia is a choice and entirely the fault of the "victim" make me want to cry. I never chose to go through that torture. I never wanted to starve myself. Why the hell would I want to do that? I truly felt that something had overcome me, and I was pushed far back inside myself, beating against the walls of my own psyche, screaming. Do you really think I would have spent all those years hurting myself on purpose? It hurt to eat, it physically hurt. More than a few bites and I was in pain. Yeah, that's a fucking choice.
It hurt worse when my own mother said it, that it had been a choice on my part to continue the cycle. I don't blame her for thinking that, but then she really doesn't know much about the inner workings of anorexia -- she didn't even know I was sick until long after I had recovered.
But the people who know, and still think it's a "stupid decision" hurt me. I really don't think any of these people have ever had an eating disorder.
People who insist that anorexia is a choice and entirely the fault of the "victim" make me want to cry. I never chose to go through that torture. I never wanted to starve myself. Why the hell would I want to do that? I truly felt that something had overcome me, and I was pushed far back inside myself, beating against the walls of my own psyche, screaming. Do you really think I would have spent all those years hurting myself on purpose? It hurt to eat, it physically hurt. More than a few bites and I was in pain. Yeah, that's a fucking choice.
It hurt worse when my own mother said it, that it had been a choice on my part to continue the cycle. I don't blame her for thinking that, but then she really doesn't know much about the inner workings of anorexia -- she didn't even know I was sick until long after I had recovered.
But the people who know, and still think it's a "stupid decision" hurt me. I really don't think any of these people have ever had an eating disorder.
![[identity profile]](https://www.dreamwidth.org/img/silk/identity/openid.png){kind=small}
no subject
Date: 2007-02-01 12:19 am (UTC)*hugs you*
The only reason I read about ED's now is to find out what may have caused mine, how it happened, etc. Because it was so abrupt and strange, and because it may honestly be genetic. But I try to only read the ones that have no bias or personal opinions....