Morning

anxiety
n.
Psychiatry. A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression.

panic attack
n.

The sudden onset of intense anxiety, characterized by feelings of intense fear and apprehension and accompanied by palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, and trembling. Also called anxiety attack.


au·ra
n.

Pathology. A sensation, as of a cold breeze or a bright light, that precedes the onset of certain disorders, such as an epileptic seizure or an attack of migraine.


sei·zure
n.

2. A sudden attack, spasm, or convulsion, as in epilepsy or another disorder.
3. A sudden onset or sensation of feeling or emotion.

........
Thank gods the library is not so busy right now. My reality is still fucked up. My head hurts.

Morning

anxiety
n.
Psychiatry. A state of apprehension, uncertainty, and fear resulting from the anticipation of a realistic or fantasized threatening event or situation, often impairing physical and psychological functioning.
Eager, often agitated desire: my anxiety to make a good impression.

panic attack
n.

The sudden onset of intense anxiety, characterized by feelings of intense fear and apprehension and accompanied by palpitations, shortness of breath, sweating, and trembling. Also called anxiety attack.


au·ra
n.

Pathology. A sensation, as of a cold breeze or a bright light, that precedes the onset of certain disorders, such as an epileptic seizure or an attack of migraine.


sei·zure
n.

2. A sudden attack, spasm, or convulsion, as in epilepsy or another disorder.
3. A sudden onset or sensation of feeling or emotion.

........
Thank gods the library is not so busy right now. My reality is still fucked up. My head hurts.

Mental air freshener

It's amazing how lunch and a little makeup can lift your mood. I already completely dismissed what freaked me out so badly this morning. Besides, I got cuddled and hugged and kissed a lot to calm me down and that made me feel extremely loved and cared for. As well I should be; he's a good boyfriend and I love him very very muchly.
So I am no longer as fiercely depressed as I was when I got on the Metro. I do know that after my seizures, I'll usually have vertigo and nausea and all my senses will be so razor sharp and bright that it's like a migraine without pain and I'll bump into things or be unable to focus or process the world around me for a short while. And I'll be really sleepy. Good thing I napped on the Metro for the thirty-five minute ride. But also one of the things that lingers after a seizure, for me, is dark, dark, depression and the overwhelming desire to punish myself because the world has gone all tilty and wrong and it's somehow my fault, since sometimes reality is what you make of it.

It's sunny outside. They say it's going to snow soon. *whimper*

Mental air freshener

It's amazing how lunch and a little makeup can lift your mood. I already completely dismissed what freaked me out so badly this morning. Besides, I got cuddled and hugged and kissed a lot to calm me down and that made me feel extremely loved and cared for. As well I should be; he's a good boyfriend and I love him very very muchly.
So I am no longer as fiercely depressed as I was when I got on the Metro. I do know that after my seizures, I'll usually have vertigo and nausea and all my senses will be so razor sharp and bright that it's like a migraine without pain and I'll bump into things or be unable to focus or process the world around me for a short while. And I'll be really sleepy. Good thing I napped on the Metro for the thirty-five minute ride. But also one of the things that lingers after a seizure, for me, is dark, dark, depression and the overwhelming desire to punish myself because the world has gone all tilty and wrong and it's somehow my fault, since sometimes reality is what you make of it.

It's sunny outside. They say it's going to snow soon. *whimper*

Aww...it's dark me!

( How...interesting )

Aww...it's dark me!

( How...interesting )

Food, unicorns and dragons

I'm still hungry. That's a good sign. I'm becoming less depressed. Also, Mom just called for the sole purpose of asking, "Remember when you were little and I used to tell you stories about a girl and her unicorn friend? What were the names?" And I was a bit surprised that I remembered that the girl was Abigail and the unicorn was Simon. Mom is planning on reviving the adventures for Nicole, who seems keenly fascinated with dragons. In the background, she was saying, "Grandma, ask Joanna if she likes dragons." So I replied that yes, I love dragons, and my boyfriend loves dragons so much he has a bunch of toy dragons. Nicole replied somewhat triumphantly that she loves dragons even more. Heh. Dragon loving contest in the making here. Nicole said she sent me a card with a dragon on it. Looks like I'll be checking the mail pretty soon.

Food, unicorns and dragons

I'm still hungry. That's a good sign. I'm becoming less depressed. Also, Mom just called for the sole purpose of asking, "Remember when you were little and I used to tell you stories about a girl and her unicorn friend? What were the names?" And I was a bit surprised that I remembered that the girl was Abigail and the unicorn was Simon. Mom is planning on reviving the adventures for Nicole, who seems keenly fascinated with dragons. In the background, she was saying, "Grandma, ask Joanna if she likes dragons." So I replied that yes, I love dragons, and my boyfriend loves dragons so much he has a bunch of toy dragons. Nicole replied somewhat triumphantly that she loves dragons even more. Heh. Dragon loving contest in the making here. Nicole said she sent me a card with a dragon on it. Looks like I'll be checking the mail pretty soon.

Rock the body

My Badger Balm products just arrived. Including the Montana Badger Arnica Tablets. My knee thanks me already and I haven't even taken any. I also have the Massage Oil Sore Muscle Therapy and the Evolving Body Balm, both of which smell awesome and will be able to help repair my skin whether it's bruised, cracked, dry, irritated, or pimply. Yay! I love these guys; I'll have to get more from them. They really know skin care.
http://www.uncommonscents.com/wsbadcom.html

Stupid headache. Feels like the standard vise grip. I hate you, winter! Go away!

Rock the body

My Badger Balm products just arrived. Including the Montana Badger Arnica Tablets. My knee thanks me already and I haven't even taken any. I also have the Massage Oil Sore Muscle Therapy and the Evolving Body Balm, both of which smell awesome and will be able to help repair my skin whether it's bruised, cracked, dry, irritated, or pimply. Yay! I love these guys; I'll have to get more from them. They really know skin care.
http://www.uncommonscents.com/wsbadcom.html

Stupid headache. Feels like the standard vise grip. I hate you, winter! Go away!