if we all do it at once, the universe might listen

Dear Universe,
Just once, can I please wake up and have a whole day where I will not be in pain everywhere and not have fatigue or inflammation in every muscle?
Please?
I'll bake you cookies and give you kittens and flowers.
Thank you. I know you must be busy. I'll wait.
Love, Joanna
(and friends)

if we all do it at once, the universe might listen

Dear Universe,
Just once, can I please wake up and have a whole day where I will not be in pain everywhere and not have fatigue or inflammation in every muscle?
Please?
I'll bake you cookies and give you kittens and flowers.
Thank you. I know you must be busy. I'll wait.
Love, Joanna
(and friends)

if we all do it at once, the universe might listen

Dear Universe,
Just once, can I please wake up and have a whole day where I will not be in pain everywhere and not have fatigue or inflammation in every muscle?
Please?
I'll bake you cookies and give you kittens and flowers.
Thank you. I know you must be busy. I'll wait.
Love, Joanna
(and friends)

writer's itch

My brain is leaking, my brain is pouring, I want to write I want to write I want to write and write and write
But of course at work I can't really do it. I have some time to kill, but if I start now I will not will not be able to stop.
This day needs to end soon, I need to go home, I need to pour everything out
It's like a hurricane in here, or a beast pacing in a cage attacking the bars and screaming
Second to last chapter is already taking form
I don't even know what number it's going to be but it's here already
And I already foresee a major plot problem but that might be fixed more easily than I think
Gods damn it.

It's like little crawling things made of fire scrabbling all over inside my head, and it's making me hurt but at least it's taking away from the ache in my lower back and my legs and knees and ankles and hands and shoulders

Oh fuck it, no, what do you mean I'll need to stick authority figures in there? Authority screws up the fun. You have perfectly capable people trying to save the world and then big government and big law comes in and smacks you down and insists on taking care of it and no I don't want that in the middle of it all. Thank gods this world of mine is part libertarian and part anarchist. Wait, wait, there is a perfect beautiful dialogue now between Ian and Alex and a police chief and a government agent, and the authority figures are backing away because it's already been handled yes by a bunch of young private citizens on their own and not much the government could have done anyway... besides it was just one big building and several acres of land completely destroyed, let emergency response teams deal with that.

The last time my head got this bad and this fierce I was a senior in college and I didn't get to sleep until wee hours of the morning (it was a Saturday anyway).

*beats wall*

I can't lose this, I can't lose this, I can't lose this, gods and goddesses, please, don't let me lose this again...

( Hanging on )

writer's itch

My brain is leaking, my brain is pouring, I want to write I want to write I want to write and write and write
But of course at work I can't really do it. I have some time to kill, but if I start now I will not will not be able to stop.
This day needs to end soon, I need to go home, I need to pour everything out
It's like a hurricane in here, or a beast pacing in a cage attacking the bars and screaming
Second to last chapter is already taking form
I don't even know what number it's going to be but it's here already
And I already foresee a major plot problem but that might be fixed more easily than I think
Gods damn it.

It's like little crawling things made of fire scrabbling all over inside my head, and it's making me hurt but at least it's taking away from the ache in my lower back and my legs and knees and ankles and hands and shoulders

Oh fuck it, no, what do you mean I'll need to stick authority figures in there? Authority screws up the fun. You have perfectly capable people trying to save the world and then big government and big law comes in and smacks you down and insists on taking care of it and no I don't want that in the middle of it all. Thank gods this world of mine is part libertarian and part anarchist. Wait, wait, there is a perfect beautiful dialogue now between Ian and Alex and a police chief and a government agent, and the authority figures are backing away because it's already been handled yes by a bunch of young private citizens on their own and not much the government could have done anyway... besides it was just one big building and several acres of land completely destroyed, let emergency response teams deal with that.

The last time my head got this bad and this fierce I was a senior in college and I didn't get to sleep until wee hours of the morning (it was a Saturday anyway).

*beats wall*

I can't lose this, I can't lose this, I can't lose this, gods and goddesses, please, don't let me lose this again...

( Hanging on )

writer's itch

My brain is leaking, my brain is pouring, I want to write I want to write I want to write and write and write
But of course at work I can't really do it. I have some time to kill, but if I start now I will not will not be able to stop.
This day needs to end soon, I need to go home, I need to pour everything out
It's like a hurricane in here, or a beast pacing in a cage attacking the bars and screaming
Second to last chapter is already taking form
I don't even know what number it's going to be but it's here already
And I already foresee a major plot problem but that might be fixed more easily than I think
Gods damn it.

It's like little crawling things made of fire scrabbling all over inside my head, and it's making me hurt but at least it's taking away from the ache in my lower back and my legs and knees and ankles and hands and shoulders

Oh fuck it, no, what do you mean I'll need to stick authority figures in there? Authority screws up the fun. You have perfectly capable people trying to save the world and then big government and big law comes in and smacks you down and insists on taking care of it and no I don't want that in the middle of it all. Thank gods this world of mine is part libertarian and part anarchist. Wait, wait, there is a perfect beautiful dialogue now between Ian and Alex and a police chief and a government agent, and the authority figures are backing away because it's already been handled yes by a bunch of young private citizens on their own and not much the government could have done anyway... besides it was just one big building and several acres of land completely destroyed, let emergency response teams deal with that.

The last time my head got this bad and this fierce I was a senior in college and I didn't get to sleep until wee hours of the morning (it was a Saturday anyway).

*beats wall*

I can't lose this, I can't lose this, I can't lose this, gods and goddesses, please, don't let me lose this again...

( Hanging on )

what it's like: complexes

Someone in epileptics asked me what my complex partials are like.
Recorded for posterity.

The world changes. My brain slides. Things turn upside down, sideways, around and around, I am a leaf on the wind. It starts with a... feeling. A sense of Wrong. A sense of Hey What The Fuck, Something's Weird. I stare into space for a bit, trying to figure it out. And then my senses explode. Everything looks brighter, sounds louder, feels stronger, tastes stranger, smells deeper. I find myself touching objects and... just touching them, feeling a different texture and being fascinated. Objects that are mere feet away seem to be across the room. If I am reaching for something, it looks like I am barely moving. To me, it takes forever. Everything is in slow motion.
They usually say that when you have a complex, you can't remember anything -- but most of the time, I do. Not always, obviously, according to eyewitnesses. But I don't lose consciousness. I just usually have memory gaps afterwards. I might be awake and aware, but I'll be completely, frighteningly unresponsive and almost paralyzed. My words will be very slow and stupid-like. I might twitch or jerk my arm or leg especially my left side. The world tilts and falls away. I feel like I am falling through myself, being crushed down by my brain.
After the episodes, I will be very foggy and confused and only remember bits and pieces of what happened and what caused the seizure. Gradually, most of the memory may come back to me. I need to rest for an hour or two. And I get a massive craving for specific foods (orange juice, cold water, bacon, dark chocolate) and a temporary severe avoidance of others (bread, dry food, sugar). If I don't have something salty, bitter, citric, or crunchy soon after a seizure, my recovery time is much longer. My neurologist tells me that my blood sugar and sodium levels need replenishing, hence the craving for orange juice. I also need fats and proteins, hence the bacon craving (crunchy bacon). And the dark chocolate soothes my mind and the cold water wakes me up. If I try to eat bread, I choke because it is too... filling right away. I can't explain it well. I get very thirsty and dizzy.

I keep a stock of SmartWater at home and it really helps.

Oh, by the way...
Unsuspected brain cells may cause epilepsy.

what it's like: complexes

Someone in epileptics asked me what my complex partials are like.
Recorded for posterity.

The world changes. My brain slides. Things turn upside down, sideways, around and around, I am a leaf on the wind. It starts with a... feeling. A sense of Wrong. A sense of Hey What The Fuck, Something's Weird. I stare into space for a bit, trying to figure it out. And then my senses explode. Everything looks brighter, sounds louder, feels stronger, tastes stranger, smells deeper. I find myself touching objects and... just touching them, feeling a different texture and being fascinated. Objects that are mere feet away seem to be across the room. If I am reaching for something, it looks like I am barely moving. To me, it takes forever. Everything is in slow motion.
They usually say that when you have a complex, you can't remember anything -- but most of the time, I do. Not always, obviously, according to eyewitnesses. But I don't lose consciousness. I just usually have memory gaps afterwards. I might be awake and aware, but I'll be completely, frighteningly unresponsive and almost paralyzed. My words will be very slow and stupid-like. I might twitch or jerk my arm or leg especially my left side. The world tilts and falls away. I feel like I am falling through myself, being crushed down by my brain.
After the episodes, I will be very foggy and confused and only remember bits and pieces of what happened and what caused the seizure. Gradually, most of the memory may come back to me. I need to rest for an hour or two. And I get a massive craving for specific foods (orange juice, cold water, bacon, dark chocolate) and a temporary severe avoidance of others (bread, dry food, sugar). If I don't have something salty, bitter, citric, or crunchy soon after a seizure, my recovery time is much longer. My neurologist tells me that my blood sugar and sodium levels need replenishing, hence the craving for orange juice. I also need fats and proteins, hence the bacon craving (crunchy bacon). And the dark chocolate soothes my mind and the cold water wakes me up. If I try to eat bread, I choke because it is too... filling right away. I can't explain it well. I get very thirsty and dizzy.

I keep a stock of SmartWater at home and it really helps.

Oh, by the way...
Unsuspected brain cells may cause epilepsy.

what it's like: complexes

Someone in epileptics asked me what my complex partials are like.
Recorded for posterity.

The world changes. My brain slides. Things turn upside down, sideways, around and around, I am a leaf on the wind. It starts with a... feeling. A sense of Wrong. A sense of Hey What The Fuck, Something's Weird. I stare into space for a bit, trying to figure it out. And then my senses explode. Everything looks brighter, sounds louder, feels stronger, tastes stranger, smells deeper. I find myself touching objects and... just touching them, feeling a different texture and being fascinated. Objects that are mere feet away seem to be across the room. If I am reaching for something, it looks like I am barely moving. To me, it takes forever. Everything is in slow motion.
They usually say that when you have a complex, you can't remember anything -- but most of the time, I do. Not always, obviously, according to eyewitnesses. But I don't lose consciousness. I just usually have memory gaps afterwards. I might be awake and aware, but I'll be completely, frighteningly unresponsive and almost paralyzed. My words will be very slow and stupid-like. I might twitch or jerk my arm or leg especially my left side. The world tilts and falls away. I feel like I am falling through myself, being crushed down by my brain.
After the episodes, I will be very foggy and confused and only remember bits and pieces of what happened and what caused the seizure. Gradually, most of the memory may come back to me. I need to rest for an hour or two. And I get a massive craving for specific foods (orange juice, cold water, bacon, dark chocolate) and a temporary severe avoidance of others (bread, dry food, sugar). If I don't have something salty, bitter, citric, or crunchy soon after a seizure, my recovery time is much longer. My neurologist tells me that my blood sugar and sodium levels need replenishing, hence the craving for orange juice. I also need fats and proteins, hence the bacon craving (crunchy bacon). And the dark chocolate soothes my mind and the cold water wakes me up. If I try to eat bread, I choke because it is too... filling right away. I can't explain it well. I get very thirsty and dizzy.

I keep a stock of SmartWater at home and it really helps.

Oh, by the way...
Unsuspected brain cells may cause epilepsy.