Futurama: The Bots And The Bees

Because the entire concept of robot babies being actually conceived is incredibly hilarious and hilariously incredible.
***
Leela: It's okay, Bender. No one here will laugh at you for not knowing where robot babies come from.
[The other teen robots in the room, contrary to what Leela said, actually do laugh but then hang their heads and sigh.]
Tinny Tim: We don't know, either.
Farsworth: [holding a videocasette labelled "ROBOT SEX ED: DIRECTOR'S CUT"] Then prepare to be embarrassed.
[Farnsworth puts the tape in the VCR. The TV turns on.]
Narrator: [reading title screen] SEX ED. VOLUME ONE or PANTS FULL of SHAME!
[Cut to: A teen robot walking on a sidewalk]
Narrator: Meet Gerald, a maturing young robot.
Spotty Teen Robot: Hey, he looks like me!
Narrator: His hideous appearance is a byproduct of his hardware gearing up for an important mission: reproduction.
Fat-bot: Oh boy oh boy oh boy!
Narrator: Since factories can't manufacture enough robots to meet demand, robots can also reproduce by mating.
Bender: Aw, now you tell me!
Narrator: First, Gerald must find a female robot. The best he can do is Francine.
[Cut to a fembot, who buzzes.]
Narrator: After beer and hot wings at a local gas station, the two enjoy intimate time behind a dumpster. It's all perfectly natural. Let's watch, aroused, as Gerald's antenna uploads a binary file to Francine's internal drive.
[A series of ones and zeros become sperm and go into a hard drive.]
Narrator: Manufacturing specs from each parent are then merged by a randomized algorithm and the resulting code guides assembly of a new robot. [Gerald and Francine's baby blows a raspberry.] Yes, everything your body does is perfectly natural.
[The spotty teen robot and Fat-bot high five each other.]
Narrator: Except masturbation! That's...just...wrong!!!
[The teen robots hang their heads in shame.]
[Title Screen: THE END]
[The TV turns off.]
Bender: Daaaw, I can't believe I made a kid! I'm not ready! There's so much in the world I haven't stolen yet!
Leela: Relax, Bender. No one would let you near a child. Bev will get custody and you'll be a deadbeat dad who never even bothers to know his own son.
Bender: [wiping a tear away] You really think so?
Leela: I know so. You're absolutely horrible in every way.
Bender: [still sobbing] You're sweet, Leela.
***
http://www.animeflavor.com/index.php?q=node/27967

Moringa powder with red superfruit powder in filtered water. Yay!

As much as I completely adore our new refrigerator, it makes me jump every time I walk into the kitchen. I am still not quite used to a black monolith fridge. "Damn it, Darth Fridge!" is becoming a common phrase.
Seriously, though. I've never had a large fridge with a working water filter and ice maker in the freezer door, or fully transparent food drawers, or doors with alarms that stay closed. The water filter is so fun.

Well, at least the cat scratches on my upper lip and philtrum aren't deep. And Luna didn't mean to jump on my face while I was sleeping; she was just having a territory argument with Jupiter. Oh, cats. :)

Adam is currently in Florida until next weekend. And so I will eat pizza and pasta and salad and chocolate and acai goji chocolate chip cookies and I will read and write and watch Futurama online with new episodes and walk around the neighborhood more than I usually do.