The Return To Innocence

http://www.elearnenglishlanguage.com/difficulties/ime.html
I would like to print this out, attach it to plywood, and beat it over the heads of anyone who intentionally uses phrases like "My friend and I's party" or "Give it to my friend and I" or any other form of ridiculous hypercorrection.
I realize that the biggest excuse is probably, "Well, I never learned it in school!" However, education doesn't end in a classroom. Also, the second biggest excuse is probably, "Nobody taught me!" I don't have anything to say to that. (Third excuse is, "Well, I'm lazy and you suck.")
I also realize that people reading this will tell me I'm being a snob, I need to lighten up, and "Nobody cares about writing or speaking well now, what with text messaging, shorthand netspeak, Facebook, and Twitter taking over our lives. Besides, people talk like that all the time now, so you suck!"
That's okay. I just like the website. And no, not everyone speaks or writes like that.

Delightful, fascinating, and illuminating.
http://chronicle.com/free/v55/i32/32b01501.htm: 50 Years of Stupid Grammar Advice

http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/7043962.html

*falls over laughing* (Yes, literally - off the couch)

For "all intensive purposes" *shudder* this Metaquote is fantastic.

*I hate the phrase "for all intensive purposes." Worst eggcorn ever. How on earth do you get "intensive" out of "intents and"?

http://community.livejournal.com/metaquotes/7043962.html

*falls over laughing* (Yes, literally - off the couch)

For "all intensive purposes" *shudder* this Metaquote is fantastic.

*I hate the phrase "for all intensive purposes." Worst eggcorn ever. How on earth do you get "intensive" out of "intents and"?

http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/RougeAnglesOfSatin
http://tvtropes.org/pmwiki/pmwiki.php/Main/WantonCrueltyToTheCommonComma

http://www.angryflower.com/bobsqu.gif (Crazy Adorable Flower Lectures Us On Proper Apostrophe Use)

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/4388343/Apostrophes-abolished-by-council.html

Wow. Holy fuck, people.

But, you know, at this point I -- jokingly -- almost would rather no one use apostrophes for a while, now that nobody seems to know what the fuck to do with them.

Quick basic grammar lesson: If it is a plural word, DO NOT USE an apostrophe.
If it is a possessive or a contraction, DO USE an apostrophe.
If there is an S at the end, and the word is not a possessive or contraction, PLEASE DO NOT USE an apostrophe. Just because there is an S does not mean there must always be a damn apostrophe in front of it, you know.
If the word ends with a vowel, it STILL DOES NOT need an apostrophe when you want to pluralize it. Seriously, just put an "s" there. It's perfectly fine. Keeping up with the Joneses does not need an apostrophe.

http://www.apostropheabuse.com/

I also don't want to have to get into why "It is Joe and I's" house is painfully wrong again. "I's" is bloody lazy and ridiculous, and I see it everywhere. "He spoke to Mary and I" is also wrong. You can use "me," seriously, it's okay to use "me."