The Return To Innocence

So, my husband, my mother, and my cousin Luciano all the way from Brooklyn were talking to me about Saturday, and I kept thinking, what the fuck is so great about this Saturday? and then Adam said he had asked for Saturday off so he could spend time with me for my birthday with the cheesecake, and then I facepalmed. Oh, right, I'm turning thirty-four on Saturday. Shit, I forgot. At which Mom laughed and said, "Don't worry. After thirty, you almost stop caring."
Also, thanks for the phone call, Luciano. I miss you guys.

Mom and I were discussing the "New York Voice" affect - about how when both she and I hear a New York accent, we automatically (literally) slip into a Brooklyn accent no matter how long we have been away from Manhattan or Brooklyn. The New York accent is so pervasive, specific, and intense, that a person could live across the country for thirty years and still fall into Brooklynese for an hour straight (a friend of the family moved from Brooklyn to Phoenix Arizona forty years ago and still slips into that New York accent). My old boss Ray had lived in Washington DC for twenty years and still has a powerful New York accent.
New York alters the shape of the mouth, the way the tongue presses against the teeth, the movement of the lips, the way the muscles of the jaw work. Every single person in my family does this and understands this. Unfortunately it isn't good if we're not actually in New York. It gets embarrassing if it goes on for more than half an hour. It actually starts to sound fake. Mom made the suggestion that we give ourselves a half hour time limit and then force ourselves to stop. Because we literally cannot help it. We are that sensitive to New York Voice. Our brains pick it up so easily that it kind of gets neurologically embedded.
I ran into trouble with it yesterday, when a contractor with a Brooklyn accent came over to take measurements and assess the cost. I slowly, quietly began slipping into Brooklynese. And by the time he left, Adam was snapping at me to "quit it" and I was snapping at him to "shaddup." It went on for forty-five minutes. I couldn't stop. What Adam didn't understand was that Brooklyn is not just an accent. Brooklyn is a voice. It shapes the mouth. It shapes the person. He kept saying "You're 33, you're not from Brooklyn anymore, stop talking like you're from Brooklyn." And I rose up like a snake, with deadly pride and said, "I am from Brooklyn. Brooklyn is in me. I will always be from Brooklyn." New York City is my badge of honor.

Anyway. You guys know what I mean, right? Not just New York City, but other places, right?

http://www.npr.org/templates/story/story.php?storyId=89127830

I didn't utter a single "bad" swear word until I was a senior in high school. I never found any reason to, having no real friends outside of a scant few acquaintances. Some of my classmates actually started daring me to give them the middle finger, to say "fuck" or "shit." I think they found me to be a fascinating puzzle.
When I was little, my parents said "shit" and "fuck" around the house, and explained to me that most people didn't like when children said those words, so I just didn't say them, although I knew exactly what they meant in every context. My parents educated me well about that. My father, however, having been a Navy sailor in the late 1950's and early 1960's, made it a point to never swear even as his shipmates threw curse words around like confetti. He had instilled in me the understanding that those words were so offensive to most people that they were often forbidden, especially around kids. Even today, my dad gets easily shocked when he hears me curse. A couple of years ago when Adam and I were home for Thanksgiving, we were all watching Spiderman 2. There was a scene where Mary Jane was on a floor, about to be crushed by falling debris, and I just blurted out at the screen, "Oh would you just move, you stupid fucking cunt!" My father actually jumped a few inches out of his chair and his eyes got really wide. Adam and my mother burst out laughing. It really was funny. My dad finally saw the humor in it; he was just thoroughly stunned that his "baby girl" could curse that powerfully.
When I was a teenager, I was endlessly amused when friends of my parents told me to put my hands over my ears because they were "going to say a bad word" or that they'd say, "Oh, sorry, Joanna, I shouldn't have used that language in front of you." Even when I hit my twenties. I still looked like a teenager. Older adults didn't seem to realize that I was cursing like a sailor under my breath more than they knew.

On the American version of English, a quote by James Davis Nicoll:
"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."

On the American version of English, a quote by James Davis Nicoll:
"The problem with defending the purity of the English language is that English is about as pure as a cribhouse whore. We don't just borrow words; on occasion, English has pursued other languages down alleyways to beat them unconscious and rifle their pockets for new vocabulary."

"English is a language that lurks in dark alleys, beats up other languages and rifles through their pockets for spare vocabulary."
-Unknown

For me, it is mostly amusing due to the fact that I have a BA in Creative Writing. And I write science fiction and fantasy.

Ha.

Insert annoyed Marge Simpson sigh of exasperation here

It's funny -- yes, it is very funny. It is the ultimate expression of the new times we live in, the world of Instant Messaging, MySpace, LiveJournal, Blogspot, [insert name of blog], and cell phones with text messaging. However, I've been noticing the "language" creeping into the everyday. There is, or was, a series of Young Adult novels, called T*Witches, about twin teenage girls who had supernatural powers. I browsed through a few of the books when they used to be on the shelves in bookstores. And quickly put them back. Because throughout the book, the author used LOL, OMG, BF, and BFF as if they were actual words, real honest words. Even in the dialogue. So apparently, in the real world, people, teenagers, no longer laugh. They just exclaim, "LOL!" And no one says, "Oh, my God!" or "This is my boyfriend," or "We're best friends forever!" Nope. Today's world is all about abbreviations. OMG! WTF? (I say sarcastically)
Why does this bother me so? Is it because I am a self-proclaimed Grammar Bitch (I don't like using the word Nazi)?
I really do love how people constantly make fun of how others use Netspeak; the clever, hilarious spoofs, jokes, and parodies laced with sarcasm. But some people are actually serious. Oh. I'm sorry. Sum ppl r actuly srious, LOL, WTF!

Forgive me if I seem... cranky, or exasperated. I used to use LOL and BRB, until I decided it wasn't worth using shortcuts anymore. I'll use LOL occasionally, but really that's it.
But so many people, so many people use Netspeak deliberately, all the time, with all intents, knowing full well that these are not the real words.
I know this is the way it is going. Our children will grow up with Netspeak as a natural language. Hell, UrbanDictionary.com has a wealth of information (info). But... it seems strange. Am I the only one? Do you feel that the modern language, the grasp of grammar and punctuation and use of words, is slowly deteriorating in the face of a whole new generation?
People who have dyslexia are actually unable to spell and use grammar correctly because something is turned around in their brains. My father, my husband, one of my best girlfriends, and many other people I know are dyslexic.
But these other kids, who are obviously not dyslexic: for god's sake, what the fuck! What is the excuse? Too lazy to type out entire words? I know that with cell phones you're charged by the character, but there is no real excuse for shortcuts in Instant Messaging and blogging. If you can take the time to write the whole word, the person on the other end can wait.

What I do find very amusing, though, is that the word "the" is now partner to "teh," which has a wonderful meaning all its own. I think "teh" is the only Netspeak word I actually like.

"Netspeak is teh annoyance."
(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teh)

Insert annoyed Marge Simpson sigh of exasperation here

It's funny -- yes, it is very funny. It is the ultimate expression of the new times we live in, the world of Instant Messaging, MySpace, LiveJournal, Blogspot, [insert name of blog], and cell phones with text messaging. However, I've been noticing the "language" creeping into the everyday. There is, or was, a series of Young Adult novels, called T*Witches, about twin teenage girls who had supernatural powers. I browsed through a few of the books when they used to be on the shelves in bookstores. And quickly put them back. Because throughout the book, the author used LOL, OMG, BF, and BFF as if they were actual words, real honest words. Even in the dialogue. So apparently, in the real world, people, teenagers, no longer laugh. They just exclaim, "LOL!" And no one says, "Oh, my God!" or "This is my boyfriend," or "We're best friends forever!" Nope. Today's world is all about abbreviations. OMG! WTF? (I say sarcastically)
Why does this bother me so? Is it because I am a self-proclaimed Grammar Bitch (I don't like using the word Nazi)?
I really do love how people constantly make fun of how others use Netspeak; the clever, hilarious spoofs, jokes, and parodies laced with sarcasm. But some people are actually serious. Oh. I'm sorry. Sum ppl r actuly srious, LOL, WTF!

Forgive me if I seem... cranky, or exasperated. I used to use LOL and BRB, until I decided it wasn't worth using shortcuts anymore. I'll use LOL occasionally, but really that's it.
But so many people, so many people use Netspeak deliberately, all the time, with all intents, knowing full well that these are not the real words.
I know this is the way it is going. Our children will grow up with Netspeak as a natural language. Hell, UrbanDictionary.com has a wealth of information (info). But... it seems strange. Am I the only one? Do you feel that the modern language, the grasp of grammar and punctuation and use of words, is slowly deteriorating in the face of a whole new generation?
People who have dyslexia are actually unable to spell and use grammar correctly because something is turned around in their brains. My father, my husband, one of my best girlfriends, and many other people I know are dyslexic.
But these other kids, who are obviously not dyslexic: for god's sake, what the fuck! What is the excuse? Too lazy to type out entire words? I know that with cell phones you're charged by the character, but there is no real excuse for shortcuts in Instant Messaging and blogging. If you can take the time to write the whole word, the person on the other end can wait.

What I do find very amusing, though, is that the word "the" is now partner to "teh," which has a wonderful meaning all its own. I think "teh" is the only Netspeak word I actually like.

"Netspeak is teh annoyance."
(http://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=teh)