The Return To Innocence

Almost none of my jeans or slacks were fitting during this entire Shark Week of bloating. The few jeans and slacks that did fit wouldn't zip or button without insane difficulty, which left me wearing long tee shirts to cover up my open fly.
So my husband was sweet and took me out and graciously bought me a few pairs of pants in a larger size, which I can feel better about. Later, we will look for flowy skirts, because Rugged Warehouse had none. They suggested Burlington's or Marshall's or Ross, etc. But at least I've got some lovely new capri slacks that come to my ankles, and a pair of jeans that, while horrendously gap-tastic in the back, fit just fine with a bloated midsection. Oh, hormones, how I hate you.
Also, hyperlordosis. I hate you too. When I said I was curvy, I did not mean it literally, by which I mean there are no pants anywhere at all that truly conform to my shape without having at least a small gap in the back of the waist. Hyperlordosis is an excessive inward curvature of a portion of the lumbar and cervical vertebral column. It means that my lower spine looks kind of like a weird concave shape from the side and it makes my butt stick out and my abs stick out, so pants of any kind will look funny and I will look funny while walking because even if I pull my hips forward, my ass sticks out. Even if I were to stand up as straight as I possibly could, my ass would still stick out. If I lie down on a flat surface, my lower back can't touch the floor. Also, it fucking hurts.
I really need to start strengthening my hip extensors and hip flexors, which get ignored during major abdominal workouts. Augh.
Ooh, time for a painkiller and a muscle relaxant before I punch something and regret it!

This is my favorite kind of weather. Upper 60s to lower 70s, sunny and bright with a few clouds, a light soft breeze, short sleeves optional.
I just realized that I haven't worn shorts or skirts in years. I'll be 33 next month and I haven't worn a skirt since I was in my 20s. Huh. I should remedy that soon. I'll need to find the kind of soft summery skirt that's just below knee length and has elastic and twirls when I spin. I hate tight skirts. As for shorts, I'll need to find some that hit just above the knee, because I also hate showing my legs. And people wonder why I don't like to tan. I also hate that question. I can tan very well; I just don't want to. I inherited Dad's Greek-Sicilian ability to turn wildly bronze after mild sunburning, but I prefer Mom's Hungarian-Russian snowy paleness. Also, sunburns and tans are painful. Just saying.
When Adam comes home from his long New York City job in exactly one week, I will ask him to take me shopping for skirts and shorts. It could be like a birthday present or something.

This is my favorite kind of weather. Upper 60s to lower 70s, sunny and bright with a few clouds, a light soft breeze, short sleeves optional.
I just realized that I haven't worn shorts or skirts in years. I'll be 33 next month and I haven't worn a skirt since I was in my 20s. Huh. I should remedy that soon. I'll need to find the kind of soft summery skirt that's just below knee length and has elastic and twirls when I spin. I hate tight skirts. As for shorts, I'll need to find some that hit just above the knee, because I also hate showing my legs. And people wonder why I don't like to tan. I also hate that question. I can tan very well; I just don't want to. I inherited Dad's Greek-Sicilian ability to turn wildly bronze after mild sunburning, but I prefer Mom's Hungarian-Russian snowy paleness. Also, sunburns and tans are painful. Just saying.
When Adam comes home from his long New York City job in exactly one week, I will ask him to take me shopping for skirts and shorts. It could be like a birthday present or something.

So, I'm going bra shopping. I have to. Apparently, like eighty percent of women, I've been wearing the wrong size. I'm not a 34B. Or a 36B.
I'm a 32C or D.
No, really. The fittings and calculators said so.
WTF. 32C. 32D. Depending on how it goes.
I am staring at my chest. I do not look like a C cup. This is going to be fascinating and weird.
Apparently, wearing the right bra can help reshape breast tissue, too, so that may be useful for the scar on my right breast.
I feel so weird!

I need to find dinner. I don't remember what I've eaten, except for a small bowl of wheat flake cereal, a re-heated cheeseburger, and coffee with the Garden Greens Chocoberry powder, which is high-calorie.

I feel less tired, less anxious. Good.

So, I'm going bra shopping. I have to. Apparently, like eighty percent of women, I've been wearing the wrong size. I'm not a 34B. Or a 36B.
I'm a 32C or D.
No, really. The fittings and calculators said so.
WTF. 32C. 32D. Depending on how it goes.
I am staring at my chest. I do not look like a C cup. This is going to be fascinating and weird.
Apparently, wearing the right bra can help reshape breast tissue, too, so that may be useful for the scar on my right breast.
I feel so weird!

I need to find dinner. I don't remember what I've eaten, except for a small bowl of wheat flake cereal, a re-heated cheeseburger, and coffee with the Garden Greens Chocoberry powder, which is high-calorie.

I feel less tired, less anxious. Good.

Have I mentioned that the only tangible birthday present I really want is something I doubt I can afford right now?

http://cgi.ebay.com/TIMBERLAND-Prentice-Mid-Boot-Black-Boots-Shoes-Womens-6_W0QQitemZ390176852257QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Women_s_Shoes?hash=item5ad85a4921#ht_2343wt_962
or
http://cgi.ebay.com/TIMBERLAND-Prentice-Mid-Brown-Boots-Shoes-Womens-6_W0QQitemZ160418374067QQcmdZViewItemQQptZUS_Women_s_Shoes?hash=item2559ae21b3#ht_2277wt_962

But I can stare. And hope that eventually another pair will be sold in my size that I can easily afford.

Note: My mother is kind of obsessed with shoes, but prefers shoes from thrift stores, consignment shops, vintage places, etc, since she's never had much money. When I was young, I never understood this thing with shoes. Or fashion. Or makeup.
*pause*
Hey, Mom? I'm finally catching up with you.
I rarely post about awesome footwear, but I am quite in love with these amusing-looking boots. Maybe I can save up the money to buy the black pair at the end of the month. No great loss if I can't, but oh, these are good boots for someone with knee problems and ankle problems and back problems.

Vogue editor launches new war on size-zero fashion

My mother sent down a package of clothes that no longer fit her. One pair of pants was labled as a size zero. My mother is around a size eight; I'm a size four. I pulled on those pants and they fit beautifully. They even compensated for my lordotic curve. I called my mother and wondered on what planet a size zero was also a size four. Then I remembered, oh, yes, vanity sizes and fashion houses and particular designers. Numbers in fashion annoy me, sometimes. Would be nice if more American trousers and jeans for women went by waist and hip size, not arbitrary single or double digits that don't mean very much.
Eh.

Vogue editor launches new war on size-zero fashion

My mother sent down a package of clothes that no longer fit her. One pair of pants was labled as a size zero. My mother is around a size eight; I'm a size four. I pulled on those pants and they fit beautifully. They even compensated for my lordotic curve. I called my mother and wondered on what planet a size zero was also a size four. Then I remembered, oh, yes, vanity sizes and fashion houses and particular designers. Numbers in fashion annoy me, sometimes. Would be nice if more American trousers and jeans for women went by waist and hip size, not arbitrary single or double digits that don't mean very much.
Eh.

Multi-pocket cropped pants
Sleek cropped pants
Girl's twill pants

These could work. Capri pants and kids' pants that could pull off the office look.
They're actually affordable.
And according to them, I'm a Women's Petite 2.
Which essentially the Girl's Regular 16 anyway.

*grin*?

Added:
Oh, this is perfect! It actually has an adjustable waist. I could get the Plus size 18 and cinch in the waist and not even need to hem the length! I'm very thrilled.