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Seriously, though. This toothbrush containing edible gold, bought at H-Mart, made in Korea, seems to really do something. I've taken colloidal gold before. It was good to my teeth. The toothbrush, with nothing but herbal powder, actually seems to make my teeth feel clean, smooth, and hell, even detoxified. I don't even know if that can be a thing. I used it dry a few times and got the same sensation. DeoLife toothbrushes. Gold, bamboo charcoal, silver. I get the silver and the charcoal, those are famous for being antibacterial and such. The one with the gold calls itself detoxifying, removing plaque build-up easily. I am skeptical, but there seems to be some interesting evidence. My teeth are certainly whiter.

So, "Orphan Black" is still awesome. "Black Box" is still interesting despite possibly turning into a "magical mentally ill doctor always saves the day" stereotype. I mean, I really need to see more than these first two episodes, and I hate that a mere two episodes in it is already being torn by critics. But I mean, it's like watching my life in an alternate reality. What if I were a neuroscientist, dealing with my own neurodivergence and mental illnesses, able to help my patients precisely because I could connect to them on such a specific level... I need to keep having faith in the show, except for how Catherine doesn't want her fellow doctors to know she is bipolar, even though they probably wouldn't give a shit. Like, the boss was saying that any doctors with medical conditions needed to report them, since that one surgeon with the brain tumor had a seizure during a brain surgery and became suicidal. I realize that my disabilities and invisible illnesses are my private business. But if I were a specialist working in a hospital, in charge of brains, I might understand that my supervisors might want to know about my specific mental illnesses, you know, in case I had an episode. I don't know. I find Dr Black a bit untrustworthy with her addiction to her mania. I realize she has wanted to keep her bipolar private for her own Reasons. But I don't think that is helping anyone, least of all her daughter. I mean, there is a teenager involved, who is already displaying symptoms of her own. Does Catherine really need to stay under that radar if it might cause damage to her kid?
Thoughts, anybody?

Also, this is something I wrote on Facebook and might as well copy here.

Perhaps I should attempt this "Max Capacity" exercise thing they describe in the comments. So far, kundalini has done nothing for my joints, but I am a smidge looser, so. As I told a friend, I am maintaining a broad sense of humor. Spastic hypertonia plus ataxia equals falling over and bruising myself. Which must be laughed at. Lest I go mad. But, you know, I learned something very important: Now that I have made the very personal decision to do a very specific type of yoga on my own, with no suggestions from anyone, I feel that I can better combat health zealots.

Speaking of, I so called it: A commenter posted this: "Not to be a bother but… If you did a little more exercise… I mean, there are 80 year old people that can do a perfect arch, so the age is just an excuse to do not do anything!"

Ahh, health preachers. Everyone knows what's best for you, and obviously you cannot think for yourself. It's like partisan politics, but way more personal. One side wants to be a coddling Mommy, one side wants to be a strict Daddy, one side wants to be a weird Uncle, nobody wants to actually help you without taking something for themselves. It's fun to sit back and watch, though.

And you know what, guys? I am actually going to ask for yoga advice. Specifically, though, regarding kundalini. I need suggestions for very light, gentle stretches that are good for osteoarthritic knees and hips. In particular, the ligaments are ridiculously tight due to palsy, and they keep tightening back up after any kind of exercise.

You see, I have been having intense dreams in which so much pain has been concentrated in my knees that dream me is often unable to stand and walk without screaming violently, both within and outside the dreams. It has gotten to a certain point in which I start lucid dreaming and become afraid that I cannot change the dream pain. I become afraid in the dream of moving in certain ways. In my dreams, all my fears and anxieties and obsessions are released, naturally, and not even using my cane eases them. It never helps that nobody notices, not unless they are unknown dream people. Too many dreams have taunted me about my friends not seeing these struggles, being too far away, requiring me to walk helplessly until I find relief.
A couple of dreams ago, I was in northern Brooklyn, trying to reach my childhood neighborhood of Midwood, along Kings Highway in southern Brooklyn. No taxi would take me after sundown, and this I was forced to walk and walk, and it did not get better. I had no magic powers. The dream people around me could only walk with me and talk to me.
The dream abruptly dropped me in a Metro station in which the escalators and elevators were broken. It may have been Wheaton, which has the longest escalators in the Western hemisphere.That is indeed a nightmare. For anybody, anywhere, regardless of health. Fitting that it would be in my dreams.

Back on topic: I would love advice on how to apply physical and emotional exercise to my unconscious mind.
However, please do not tell me to stop taking traditional medical treatments. Please do not bash my pharmaceutical medications, since they actively help my symptoms. If you want to see what type of supplements I take that are anti-inflammatory and joint supporting, check my Notes section for a post that lists all my medicine before making a supplement suggestion. Chances are that unless it is an extremely obscure herb, or an unusual TCM medicine, I have tried it.
Eh. I'll post that medication list.

I cannot say I am well. Am I ever truly well? I mean, the only reason I consistently talk about symptoms is to remind others that we can work with all of this crap. Many of my dear fellow chronically ill cripples want to keep their posts sharing pain to a minimum, which I support, respect, and understand - because, really, it's the same thing day after day. I think the main reason I'm a frequent updater is because I get so many questions, so many please for help, so many requests for advice and suggestions and just words of love. And those things, I can give.

Also I think I may be in a depression episode. It's taken a couple of weeks to realize that. It's so... light. So subtle. Huh.

So. Other things...
"What if being cured didn’t fix those things?
Because ultimately, if I took a cure, I’d be surrendering. Instead of fighting for my right to be treated and valued as a human being regardless of disability, I’d be letting go, giving in, and letting myself be changed into someone easier, someone acceptable, someone convenient. And I want to be clear– there is nothing wrong with wanting things to be easier or wanting to feel safe or accepted or just being done fighting. That just means that you’ve been asked to be much, much stronger than everyone else for much, much too long.
But if, in order to be safe I have to stop being me?
Then I’m really not safe at all."
"We are prone to feeling defeated because it’s a battle just to get our muscles to move us out of bed every day, so telling us to “be more positive” in the face of that is kind of insulting."

Sensory Processing Disorder. Cerebral Palsy. Temporal Lobe Epilepsy. ADHD-Inattentive. Major Depressive Disorder. Multiple Anxiety Disorders. Autism. Fibromyalgia. Chronic Stress Disorder. Hypersensitivity. Spastic Hypertonia. Migraine Disorder. Chronic headaches. Chondromalacia. Sleep Disorders. Dyscalculia. Sciatica. Chronic Back Pain. Lordosis. Rhinitis. Asthma. Recovering Anorexia.
Oh, absolutely. Being told to "be more positive" is indeed kind of insulting.

My mom keeps telling me that I've fixated too much on being autistic, on advocating, on activism. She suggested that I just BE. I'll take it.
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So, the comment threads have turned awesome and have been a ton of fun. We're still rolling. Starting with critiquing Temple Grandin's societal status as "that famous autistic" and moving to needing autistic representation to cerebral palsy comorbidity to mental illness and neurodivergence, this is one of the most fascinating off-topic threads I've participated in.
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Okay, so. This new show on ABC, "Black Box", which has really polarized critics. Some people hate it even though it's only had one episode. The creators insist that it may change how we see mental illness and neurology.
The main character, Dr Catherine Black, is a brilliant, innovative neuroscientist who tries to hide her severe manic bipolar disorder. Except she loves the way she feels during manic episodes, so she often discards her medication, runs out and becomes hypersexual, has hallucinations, becomes a different person. She realizes this and understands the extreme consequences, but finds it hard to stop. Her psychologist, who is wonderful, is worried. Her fiance, who she kept in the dark for a year, winds up liking her hypersexualized, aggressive manic self. Her brother and his wife are raising her daughter, born when Cate was a teenager, who doesn't know that Aunt Cate is actually Mom and who is displaying symptoms of bipolar.
There will be melodrama. There will be intensity. There will be exaggerations. Patients who suffer from all sorts of conditions that Cate will be able to work with thanks to her personal holistic insight into the complex brain. Cate will be shown as an exaggeration of a bipolar patient, and it may lead to audiences arguing over the benefits and dangers of drugs, treatments, holistic treatment, psychotherapy. We shall see. So far, I liked the pilot episode. But it might turn into a "Grey's Anatomy" or even "House" style show, with drama on top of drama, further polarizing audiences. We shall see.
But so far, Catherine Black may as well be me in a separate reality, if I had gone for neuroscience in college.

Okay, so, there's me. I've been having horrible headaches, neck pain, jaw pain. Probably highly interconnected. I blame the weather for the most part. Every morning finds me ninety years old, performing bed yoga in kundalini form for cripples. Thankfully, the combination of my pharmaceutical and supplemental drugs work really well. I have taken advice and started ignoring naysayers who insist I do This or That and stop doing That or This - my health is my own. To quote The Prisoner: My life is my own. I will not be pushed. Yes, yes, I appreciate all the suggestions for this medicine, that yoga practice, this therapy, that device. I am deciding how to proceed with my doctors.
All the pain and stiffness and aching and stabbing fade into the background when I work, ie writing, which is the best thing. The supplements for ADHD work well enough so I can concentrate, but I need to eat more often, because I take after my father, like when he's outside carving stone forgetting to eat for hours. Small meals several times a day works best. Nut butter-fruit preserves sandwiches on whole grain bread do wonderful things. Grilled cheese sandwiches, with avocado if I have it. Yes. Oh! I have a slice of cheesecake with which to treat myself!
A walk around the neighborhood, quad cane in hand, was helpful enough, after push-ups, weight-lifting, leg stretching. I do what I can.

Also, on an LJ community for disabled people, I was asked to find links for cerebral palsy and comorbid conditions, and I want to remember them, so this:

"Well, I started out Googling cerebral palsy + comorbidity. I joined a private CP group on Facebook and discovered some extraordinary - and disturbing - facts about aging with CP. I'd be happy to try and answer any questions. Many people have no idea. I am spastic-ataxic hemiplegic, left side, born 12 weeks premature, developed periventricular leukomalacia aka white matter death, and at age 35 have actively gotten worse. CP itself is a static condition that never changes, but the syndromes associated with it do progress. In fact, many people with CP don't believe that it gets worse.

These are just some of the articles. I can give personal insight as well. It's very fascinating. "
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So, this Saturday's MLP FIM was a fantastic, perfect example of different types of learning, specifically when working with mental, neurological, and learning disabilities. My love of Rainbow Dash has increased a bit! She's more humble, less egocentric, and more inclusive.
And it reminded me of the ways I learn well.
I tend to learn best when I have more than one thing happening, like Rainbow. I prefer books and lessons like Twilight, and I love musicals like Pinkie... but my method of learning is peripheral absorption. I could have stopped researching holism in relation to neuroscience years ago. I kept going because a new thought, question, or concern forms in my mind, I rush to look it up, and by doing that I drag other bits of information into the edges of my processing.
This is also how it can be easy to lose information into the depths of brain fog, seizure activity, memory problems, and mental fatigue. I can fixate on specific subjects out of desperation, and once the symptoms of information degradation has passed, I can call up the tidbits I saved and re-learn them.
This is also part of why some of my friends hate the show Futurama. They are so irritated that they lash out. I cannot explain very well that the program is a very specific kind of background comfort. I've been told, "You can recall all this dialogue from Futurama. That means you don't have memory problems. You just need to turn that focus on to important and smarter things, because Futurama is stupid." What they don't realize is that I use Google search for most of my quote-backs. And this is where being autistic comes into play, of course. Special Interests, specific focuses, comforts. I could easily do the same with MLP, but it is still new. I could and would repeat every since episode over and over. I could do that with other series, like Archer. Adventure Time. The Tomorrow People. Lost Girl. The Big Bang Theory. The Simpsons. American Dad.

MLP FIM is a huge part of my special Interests, specific focuses, comforts.
"Testing Testing 1 2 3" is my new favorite episode. I hope schools wind up applying it to help learning disabled students.
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So, I had a fascinating dream last night that was at best a "Lost Girl" fanfic and at worst a bizarre fantasy wish fulfillment. I, myself, as I am, was a Light Fae with naturally indigo hair and eyes, whose skin gained a pale purple tint while my powers were in use. I was a healer, for myself and others; I could even pull someone from the brink of death, although it weakened me. Conversely, I could also cause extreme pain and injury to the point of death. I also had inborn herbal medical knowledge and strong empathic powers that were both receptive and projective, which I used to soothe the wounded. Weirdly enough, dark purple butterfly wings would magically erupt from my shoulders while I worked and then would vanish - and I was actually able to hover and glide. Trick called my kind "airmeds" - which, in the canon universe, made sense, as they already have lokis and serkets, which are singular names of deities (Loki, Norse god of mischief, Serket, an Egyptian goddess of minor healing). Airmed is a Tuatha De Danann, a goddess of healing and resurrection.
Digressing: I have a sense that the writers may take advantage of using individual gods as Fae species. I actually love that about the Lost Girl universe. Being a singular god would be even more powerful. Makes me really wonder if the Wanderer is a god himself.
Returning to the dream: Bo and I became lovers for a bit, as I found her chi and powers fascinating, and we would feed on each other during sex. It appeared that I was immune to Bo's succubus blood, that if she bled on me I would not become enamored or obsessed (ie, Ryan the loki). I also slept with Hale a few times, and having a siren and an empath together was rather hilarious. Interestingly enough, Kenzi didn't mind.
I became useful when Kenzi was attacked by a wolf shifter that Dyson had to kill. The fact that I was unable to heal my own brain injury fascinated both Trick and Evony, as well as the Una Mens. The dream started fading as Bo and Kenzi invited me to crash with them for a while while I was being hunted, since an active airmed with an healing-resistant brain injury was extremely rare and highly sought-after for medical experiments. I mean, if the wounds I healed were severe enough, I would break down sobbing and spasming, have a seizure, and then become near-catatonic for several minutes. That's not a good thing for a Fae desperately needed in battle.
There was a point where I expressed specific distaste with Doctor Lauren. I still don't like her much. Bo and Dyson should really keep acting on their love for each other. I know Dyson is 1500 years old and patient, but really. And then there is Tamsin. Mmm, Tamsin.

I believe the main reason I had such a dream with such a highly specific original character was because I was researching the healing abilities of the indigo plant as well as the transformative mythology of the butterfly. Still... fascinating. I didn't feel like a Mary Sue. Considering that "Lost Girl" is filled to the brim with potential Mary Sue characters both in canon and in fanfiction, I imagine my character's Faeness rated low.
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Good news! Watching "The Day Of The Doctor" - twice, once my myself for the initial airing and again with Adam for the second airing - did give emotional promise. I was cheered up and excited. I never care what critics say. It is a fun, gorgeous, hilarious, heartbreaking, powerful, insane, wild, amazing program, and the Doctor himself is wonderful. This episode had all those elements. I was very, very pleased, especially with the varied one-liners between Smith, Tennant, and Hurt. The monsters could have been better. The "final fate" of Gallifrey pleased me. The concept thought up by the three Doctors at the climax was fantastic. I applauded.
Less Good News: Obviously, my clinical depression has not broken, save for a few bursts of laughter and crying. Last night, my Soulmate Best Friend held me close and told me that it was okay to not be okay. That everything was okay. I need to keep believing that. I need to stop convincing myself that "Nothing matters, nothing matters, it's just a thing, it's just a thing, not even an emotion, why should I care, is this even worth it." I am not alone. This is so common that I have made this post public so others can join in on the discussion. I don't know why it happened, but I marked it on my calender because that us important. I write. I write and I write. I ask questions. I cry in my dreams. I might go to my parents like this. They seem to understand well enough. I just need to tell them I must eat more, even if it is salad for days knowing them.
I still didn't moisturize my face. It itches. I need to have a shower anyway. But I did wake up well, take my medicine, get dressed spritely, nibble foods throughout the day. I am too skinny for this. B, my darling, I will keep my promise. We can go together. My OCD is like fireants, and I keep rubbing my arms, my torso, my legs. I am doing everything I can. I can.
I can do all of this. Even if this is trying to destroy my amygdala. I am a fighter.
I love you all. I wish I knew what else to say...
Orange juice.
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Sniffle. That was a very good finale.
Thanks, Futurama.

(I mean, unless it comes back again again. It's the only series finale that is open ended.)
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So many books, so many books.

So, True Blood. I've watched all the new episodes. The books don't matter anymore. The HBO show is absolutely going in eighty new directions. Although Niall is more awesome than in the books. Rutger Hauer is fucking awesome. I do wonder if they will bring in Mr. Cataliades and Diantha, then we can have friendly demons! If they could just get Christopher Walken... especially as a good guy. Maybe a faery. I like Ben no matter who he might be. I'm tired of vampires. Especially Bill/Lilith/WhoeverTheFuck, and even Eric. Infallibility and shock with a vampire is sad and wangsty. Pam and Tara are awesome. Jessica is awesome. Sam and Lafayette are awesome. Jason and Sookie are surprisingly awesome. LOL, Andy, you are adorable. So many twists and turns. Having read all the books, I have decided that I am completely and utterly fine with all the changes. As long as Charlaine Harris is entertained and paid, I'm sure she is utterly fine, too. Hell, her favorites are Lafayette and Jessica - and she killed Lafayette and never invented Jessica to begin with. If I become a famous author whose books become a TV series, I might take lessons from Harris. Just sit back and enjoy. At least in the final book, Sookie wizened up and stopped being stupid, and Sam became awesomer and sexier than ever, and the two of them confirmed all my speculations. These are not actually spoilers. Or if they are I don't care.
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I am starting to officially read "World War Z" by Max Brooks. I don't know if I can. I'm not joking. I may need Klonopin. I'll have to skim and speed-read.
I know people don't really understand super irrational phobias like this. I know fear is a basic and intangible biological, evolutionary reaction, that it can keep you moving, that it can help survival. But irrational fears are... I mean... you know. They hurt. They damage. They are inexplicable. No amount of "Oh, get over it" can soothe irrational fear.
But I'm only at Tel Aviv and I'm shaking. I know how the book progresses, I know what happens, I know about Yonkers... through wikis and reviews and recaps and summaries. But I don't know if I can sit down and actually read the whole thing as it is.
My mind is so odd in that way.
I suppose this is a high praise and testament to Max Brooks's talent. But this is one of my absolute violent fears printed on paper and bound between covers. If I can make it to the end of the book - fuck, if I can make it through Yonkers - maybe I will be okay.
I just need to remember that any nightmares about living corpses stalking me are just dreams. To quote a beloved and wise friend: "being afraid of anything is bullshit... fear cannot hurt or touch you - put it in a box and stuff it the fuck under the bed." It is a powerful kind of truth.
It doesn't work in some situations. However, in my own case, it is the truth. To "be afraid" is to react. Everyone has a fear, multiple fears. But not everyone is afraid. Fear serves a very important purpose in evolution and biology. But fear is not the creature coming to hurt you. Fear is the response. Not necessarily bullshit. But not always needed, either. Fear can be worked with. Fear can be stared down. Fear can be danced with. Fear can be used. Fear can be weaponized. Fear can be altered and manipulated. Fear can be conquered.
Unfortunately, when I am smack in the middle of fear, I forget that.
I have been afraid of stories before. My imagination is active beyond reason. One of my recurring nightmares features a rotting, moving, gasping human corpse crawling onto my bed, reaching out, and stroking my face. This is why the television series "The Walking Dead" is essentially the stuff of my nightmares, and if I stumble across a GIF or macro of one of its zombies, I freeze in terror before scrolling past or closing the window; the fact that it is only makeup and corn syrup and costuming means nothing at all.
Therefore, BREATHING.
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A disability as a superpower or a superpower as a disability? A superpowered disability?

Also, you know what this reminds me of? A meme photo of a young woman in a wheelchair, in a bookstore, in which the woman is standing slightly to reach a book on a higher shelf, and the meme's snarky caption reads, "It's A Miracle!"
I found this in a long article about how many people like to use disabled people as inspiration porn. You know, "She is doing XYZ even though she has A Disability! Oh, look, how inspiring she is! We should all strive to be so strong!" You would think that disabled people who need wheelchairs because their bodies don't work right must have some sort of superpower, because gods forbid only paralyzed people need wheelchairs. Therefore, someone who is able to stand and walk most of the time should never need a wheelchair, no matter how screwed up their muscles are. Right? *CRIPPLE RAGE ETC*

Off to take more medication. I really needed two canes today, damn...
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...because I have no idea if anyone is watching this show.

I knew it! Sarah and Helena were the twins. That's why Sarah could have biological children while the (other) clones were sterile.
I still believe Sarah and Helena are the Original Experiments, and that Kira has that healing factor because of all the insanity in Sarah's DNA. No wonder any offspring of either Sarah or Helena would be... superpowered, essentially.

I honestly have no clue why I love the show so much. It airs right after "Doctor Who" on BBC America, so I keep on with it just because. But it's getting so freaking awesome. I hope Season Two gets awesomer. I hope my theory about Sarah is correct.


May. 7th, 2013 08:19 pm
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Oh my gods, I have watched this four times and I will watch it again and again because awesome. They are so adorable. I think most of this must have been unscripted, especially Quinto laughing at Nimoy acting out Spock's radiation death scene.
The nerve pinch bit might be my favorite.
Also, Leonard Nimoy singing his old pre-Trek Bilbo Baggins song? AWWW.

My ex-Marine friend A. owns a custom Audi named Amy, and she really is a nifty car. On our first outing, after I told A. that high speeds freak me out, we got on a highway and he told me to close my eyes and guess how fast we were going. I guessed sixty. He told me to look. We were going ninety. I hadn't even felt a thing. Amy is custom-made for him because he is paralyzed in his left arm and shoulder, so he needs computerized lots of things, and Audi is his favorite car, and he has a trust fund and help from the military and disability insurance and such, since his car is considered specifically to help his disabilities. I find that fascinating. But yeah, Audi cars are really smooth.
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I often "cross post" between here and Facebook, since sometimes stuff I say there, in increments, can be transferred here as stories and ruminations.

Lately, I've been getting genuinely angry at many Facebook friends and acquaintances - and it takes a fucking lot to make me genuinely angry. Multiple people on my Feed have been reading and watching the internet and talk show versions of medical conspiracy theories and tabloids - technincally slightly true, definitely not completely true. "So, these doctors on this daytime talk show or YouTube segment or extremely biased blog are saying that almost every serious health problem in America can be linked to pharmaceutical drugs or the side effects from those drugs. So, have fun taking those deadly dangerous pills! I'm going to be all smug and condescending because I don't take any pills at all even though I probably should for medical conditions I refuse to talk about."

Have you ever had a triggering of your rage gag reflex? Not quite retching, but a mental version of "I am about to explode rage all over this!" because something has truly, severely pissed you off. That has been me over the last couple of days. Some very very intelligent friends have been reposting these ridiculous claims, and my response is usually double facepalm and "For fuck's sake, take everything you read and hear on these blogs and talk shows with grains of salt, please, please, please." Like... okay, I like watching the Doctor Oz show every now and then. Quite often, he is extremely insightful, helpful, and correct. But he is also trying to get high ratings. Same for that talk show The Doctors. Who also used to be Oprah's friends. A panel of four core doctors from different specialties talking about medical breakthroughs, things that are good and bad for you, et cetera. Apparently, a recent episode featured the ER physician claiming that pharmaceutical drug side effects were causing most of the country's medical problems. At which point I facepalmed, went online to trusted websites, and proved him essentially wrong with a few keystrokes. It turns out that after the episode aired, multiple physicians and specialists who were not mere ER doctors called bullshit and blasted the episode and the hosts for being irresponsible. Again, ratings ratings ratings. But so many Facebook friends are falling for it that I wound up "hiding" their posts because I was getting seriously insulted. Funny that this happened after I made a status post about how grateful I was for the pharmaceutical drugs I've been taking to help mitigate my conditions.

Look, pharmaceutical drugs are not the Best Things Ever. They have serious side effects for many people. They alter the body and brain in ways that can be more damaging than the conditions they are treating. BUT. For millions of people, they are lifesaving. They have treated the symptoms of thousands of crippling diseases successfully. For many patients, they are the only options, because holistic medicines, supplements, and alternative therapies haven't worked for those patients (and of course, holistic medicine is either The Best Only Medicine Ever or Quackery Placebo Bullshit). So, to say something like "I heard from a TV doctor that pharmaceutical drugs are the main cause of most medical problems" and to follow it up with a slap in the face like "Good luck taking your pills, guys!" is... a slap in the face. Especially if that doctor was being paid to exaggerate findings or to promote some sort of media, to gain readers or viewers. And especially if the people repeating these claims hadn't seen a doctor themselves in years due to lack of opportunity, fear, hatred, or simple mistrust of doctors - which makes me laugh my ass off. "I don't trust doctors, doctors have never made me feel better, but this one doctor said this thing and I believe it completely and so should you!" It is one thing to drink the Kool-Aid. It is another thing to splash the plastic cup of Kool-Aid in my face.

You know, this is why doctors practice medicine. Practice, not master. It is a practice. Many many times, they get things wrong. Doctors are not perfect. Nobody is perfect. Not even you. So, dear Facebook people, please double check your facts, get second opinions, and actually think about it before you quote what sounds like medical conspiracy theories.

In the meantime, I'm going to sit back, smile, watch silly cat videos, and take my evil pharmaceuticals and my quack herbal supplements that are all maliciously working wonderfully to effectively relieve the worst symptoms of my twenty separate medical conditions. Damn them! *nods*

Also, in May I have my first appointment with a licensed craniosacral therapist. Having had craniosacral therapy twice, with extraordinary results, I am eagerly anticipating this.
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Oh my gods.
No, I do not think I will ever watch "Hannibal" - but I will happily and eagerly read the recapping reviews.
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I think I've figured out exactly why "My Little Pony: Friendship Is Magic" entertains, amuses, and delights me so much: It reminds me deeply of Warner Bros. and Looney Tunes and other slapstick humor cartoons from my childhood. The consistent cocktails of wackiness, ensuing of hijinks, and humorous winks to adult themes make me laugh wildly. And so I wonder why so many people actively hate even casual fans of the series.

I am a casual fan of "My Little Pony." I still refuse to get involved in the actual fandom (certain things cannot be unseen or unknown, beyond Rule 34; in conclusion, some people are extraordinarily creepy when it comes to cartoons). But the TV show, characters, and concept as a whole has a serious little place in my heart.

Say what you will, some cartoons are just that cool.
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How you know you can tolerate and love me:
Get comfortable and preferably join in while I watch the Futurama episode "Where No Fan Has Gone Before" on repeat while mouthing the dialogue, while I also wonder out loud what it must have been like for the actors in the recording studio, such as who messed up the most takes by laughing so much. Plus all the inside jokes.
And then I shall start talking about animated versions of Babylon 5. Especially certain characters' heads in jars at the Head Museum. Because, you know, Walter Koenig. And the comment about "Look at Walter Koenig. After Star Trek, he became an actor." Smirk, cough Alfred Bester Psi Corp cough*
And then, of course, get comfortable while I start Netflixing Babylon 5. And later, My Little Pony Friendship Is Magic. You think I'm kidding.
This is not the height of my nerdity, but it is close.
Also, I still need to find that Bab5 Psi Corp book series. Hello, Ebay, maybe?
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I love how so many older TMNT fans and similar people around the internet refuse to even give the 2012 a try. Come on, it's adorable. There are many things that annoy me already despite the series barely having started, but it's adorable. Also, this is, what, the third episode? Get off your high horses, people, enjoy what they gave you and gather your collective bitching for the full first season after it ends. *wide smile*

I know I should never, ever, EVER refer to YouTube comments for anything ever, but here is a lovely example of complaining, whining, bitching, and nitpicking by fans from young teen to older adult, and also the theme song, which I like (anything to forget Vanilla Ice; sorry, that made me remember Vanilla Ice, crap).

Also, shut up, it's adorable.

I'm still wondering why the 2012 TMNT cartoon was not picked up by Cartoon Network; they both cater to a slightly more post adolescent demographic than Nickelodeon (also, I can't stand Nickelodeon in general these days, and I hear it got TMNT to desperately boost ratings, oy).

Also, I now understand why Rob Paulsen came back to play Donatello. Someone had to be there to show the adult audience the incredibly subtle in jokes and silent wink hints to the 1987 cartoon, like subtle eyerolls to the audience when another character does something silly. He doesn't break the fourth wall, but I admit, I watch Donatello's character closely just to see if the animators have done anything to remind us Hey, remember the 1980s cartoon? Remember when he was Raphael? Remember that he's the oldest voice actor here? Remember that Sean Astin is looking at him during each voice recording hoping he does Raphael justice? Which is bizarre since Astin's Raphael would wipe the floor with Paulsen's Raphael and then step on his head for fun? (Ohh, how the 1987 cartoon makes me cringe now, I can't even stand it).

I much prefer the 2012 team over the 1987 team but not as much as the 2003 team (and if I may blatant, if it hadn't started my obsession I would have the 1987 cartoon wiped from memory). Far more similar to the original comics and my beloved 2003 cartoon versions, and actually acting like teenage boys. Especially if Greg Cipes playing Michelangelo keeps doing what he's doing.

So, indeed, I find it extremely adorable in multiple ways, including "Aww, I'm seeing every incarnation put together without being completely annoying! Yay, fan nostalgia!"

Also, someone please please remind me WHY they thought it was a good idea to make April O'Neil a teenager? is Casey Jones even going to be in this thing? Do they even know the full original stories behind April and Casey? (No, wait, it's a kid's show, crap.)

But wait... they will have flashbacks to Splinter's life as human Hamato Yoshi - married to Tang Shen, with a baby daughter? Oh, this makes me sad. "While once friends with Splinter (Hamato Yoshi) in Japan, Shredder (Oroku Saki) and Splinter fight over the love of Splinter's wife Tang Shen. During their battle, a fire kills Tang Shen and Splinter's infant Miwa. Shredder learns that Splinter is alive and in New York after seeing Hamato Yoshi's family crest on a shuriken left behind by The Turtles."
That's heavy for a kids' show. In the original comics, Tang Shen was single and childfree and loved Yoshi, was murdered by Saki out of jealousy, and was originally the entire reason Splinter came to New York: Saki murdered Yoshi, Splinter's cage was broken, Splinter managed to leave Japan. But with Splinter and Yoshi being one and the same, it's even more heartbreaking. Particularly now that he was married to Tang Shen and they had a baby daughter. Who both died. In a fire. Caused by Yoshi and Saki fighting. No wonder Splinter adopted the turtles and is such a good father. I wonder if his beloved sons even know about his daughter. His infant daughter Miwa. No wonder he wants so desperately to keep them safe. Holy shit. Whoever came up with that plot point will have some questions to answer from sad parents. I'm not a parent and I'm sad. Augh. Sad!

Still should be on Cartoon Network. Followed by "Adventure Time" and "The Regular Show" so it can be extra trippy. Those shows were made by people on acid, I swear.
Alas, it appears that Peter Laird sold the TMNT franchise to Viacom and Nickelodeon, so that must be why Nickelodeon could air the cartoon. Sigh.
brightrosefox: (Default)
Ohh, "Doctor Who" - you are always full of surprises. This season finale episode, "Angels Take Manhattan"... it really did make me weep. Long sigh.

My head is being a bitch. At least the migraine has started backing down, thanks to codeine, baclofen, and carisoprodol; plus magnesium, devil's claw, cat's claw, CoQ10, green coffee extract, B vitamins, Vitamin D, Vitamin C, turmeric, and royal jelly.

Seriously, thank you Big Pharma, for doing something good for me. And thank you, holistic supplements, for always supporting me in my times of serious need. And thank you, self, for instinctively knowing how to balance pharmaceuticals with holistics.
Did I mention how much I love craniosacral therapy?
(If you don't know what that is, search engines are your friends. I admit, I get a bit annoyed when someone asks me what something is, while they are on the internet, with Google and Bing and Yahoo availavble.)

I am still feeling perky and shiny enough. I have books to read, writings to write, TV shows to watch. Also, the new TMNT cartoon is absolutely adorable, holy shit, I love it already.
brightrosefox: (Default)
Would any fellow fans of "True Blood" like to speculate on, discuss, and pick apart the final episode and such? There WILL be SPOILERS in the comments. There are too many things I loved and too many things I disliked to write here, so can someone just start so I can chime in?


brightrosefox: (Default)

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