The Return To Innocence

Obvious observation is obvious! We have Weather in Gaithersburg and Rockville. We have pounding rain and howling wind. I needed to mail a letter, so I put on a weather-resistant coat and walked the 90 seconds to the parking lot mailbox and the 90 seconds back to the townhouse. My hair was soaked which I didn't care about; my boots, socks, and jeans got soaked, which I didn't care about. Whatever. Also, yes, we have electricity and everything.

Also, I learned that if you apply a few coats of nail polish, wait five minutes, and then stick your hands in the freezer for five minutes, the polish will dry and harden much faster. Naturally, this may come with risks for people like me, with Raynaud's Disease, fibromyalgia, hypersensitivity, Sensory Processing Disorder, and plain old severe dislike of coldness. However, it works, so I deal with it.

Adam and I went to Wal-Mart yesterday to buy me a back brace, a knee brace, and an elbow brace. And I had... well, a social encounter. I know I'm not supposed to *ahem this is un-PC* Feed The Crazies. But she followed me and yelled at me, and in my mind, feeding her knowledge was the right thing to do.

I was browsing the health and beauty section for my favorite hairbrush, and a woman came up, looked at my cane, looked at me, and said, "So, since you're disabled, who are you voting for?"After a few seconds of blankness, blinking, and turning this phrase over and over, I said, "I am voting for who I want to vote for."
The lady said, "Okay, but do you have kids or do you want kids?" And I said, "No, I am too disabled for pregnancy and I also don't want kids."
The lady said, "Oh, I bet you're one of those people who supports abortion, like if you got pregnant you would kill the baby just because you're selfish and evil."
Again, there were a few seconds of blankness, blinking, and absorbing the phrasing. I said, "Well, I am firmly pro-choice because I believe in the option, ability, and freedom of every human being to make personal decisions on what to do with their own bodies. This includes choosing to keep a pregnancy as well as terminate a pregnancy. I choose to not have a pregnancy due to severe anxiety, phobia, medical problems, and no desire whatsoever to be pregnant. That is my own personal decision. I would not attempt to ever push my personal decision on anyone else."
The lady sneered and said, "So if you got pregnant, you would murder a baby just because you don't feel well and you don't want it. I don't care how handicapped you are, I hope Satan pulls you into hell by his own hand, and God will laugh."
I took a very deep breath. I forced myself to smile. I reached out to the hairbrush rack and grabbed the hairbrush I'd been after, a Goody So Smooth Boar Blends Ceramic Style Brush. I looked at the lady, smiled widely, and said, "Well, it was nice talking to you. I'm off to find my husband. He should have my special braces for my back, knee, and elbow now. Have a good day!"Before she could say another word, I walked off as quickly as my limp and cane allowed.
She did get the last word, though. At the top of her lungs she howled "Sinner. God hates you! He will judge you, cripple! He will hate you for eternity!"
Oh, gods, I wonder what would have happened if I had told her Iwas not religious, ethnically Jewish, and a polytheist pantheist pagan witch.

The amusing part was that every single person within earshot stared at her open-mouthed, and then stared at me, whom she was pointing at. A couple of people walked beside me and said, "Oh, honey, are you okay? We heard everything. We're on your side, you know. That is a beautiful pro-choice argument."
I smiled, relieved, and said, "I'm fine. And it's not so much about choice. It's about ability and freedom, and personal responsibility, no matter how a woman views a pregnancy. Maybe she is right. Maybe I am selfish. But I would rather save my own body and mind, you know?" I was told, "And that's fine. I've never understood how that could be a bad thing. You don't want pregnancies or children. That's not a bad thing. Getting an abortion if you believe it is necessary is not at all a bad thing. I just wish it wasn't such a political issue. Hell, if I had a uterus and a vagina, I would fight for the same thing!" The man gently patted my shoulder and the woman asked if she could hug me. Getting a hug from a kind stranger can be so wonderful.

Finally, I met up with Adam and his cart. I had also bought a bunch of socks, the No Nonsense brand. Super comfort.

I also need to find more Goody So Smooth Boar Blends Boar/Ceramic Styler Brushes. They seem to be rare these days. Goody Also makes this awesome similar brush called Smooth Penetrate Quick Drying Boar Bristle Brush, which us silver instead of brown. Good stuff. I love brushes that blend boar and plastic bristles.
Ooh, and the Body Shop makes a brush with all bamboo brushes, nice and thick Olivia Garden makes a brush with part boar and part bamboo bristles, which I've had for a while, and as long as I keep using my trusty brush cleaner it will last for quite a while.

Oh, I hurt. I hurt so much I don't even want to describe it. But you knew that.

I just wanted to say that I love my hair. The texture is behaving beautifully. My hair is soft and shiny and has turned into gorgeous silky little waves instead of weird dry frizz.
Also, my skin is starting to really look amazing because of all the care I've taken, just like the hair care. I think I have Earths Own Bath And Body to thank for that, with all the moringa and awesome oils and butters and flower extracts. And obviously I have to thank the Chromatics hair dye, since there is nothing like it anywhere and it is the best hair dye ever, and the Natural Medium Brown is so perfect for my complexion, which I am learning to love more and more.
Feeling good about my inside makes me feel good about my outside, and naturally that glow shines through even when I don't see it. I feel awesome and beautiful in a whole new way. I am a magic pixie girl! My magic may come in all forms, but it will always be rooted in nature and spirit and self. I know who I am, and I am shiny!
So yeah, I totally adore my hair.

This is my "Yes, I am quite awesome, thank you!" photo.



The new haircolor is still Redken Chromatics, but now a warm natural medium brown. More golden brown, less auburn, like my hair back when I was seven through eleven, before I got a pixie cut and then hit puberty. My hair then turned from stick straight to very wavy and medium golden brown. I still don't know how I had bright fiery auburn hair when I was five. Maybe I was a calico of some sort.
My celebratory treat to myself is Too Faced Exotic Eyeshadow in Midnight Mist. It goes from shimmery metallic dark blue to shimmery metallic dark purple depending on how I move. In fact, Midnight Mist almost exactly matches an eyeshadow that I saw in a dream I had a few days ago, so the price was worth it - although I got $4.00 off because I'm an Ulta member.
I figured I deserved a cosmetic product that flowed the way I flow. Things are changing and I am flowing in many directions at once.

Adam will be away overnight, back home, and then off again from Saturday to Wednesday. There is plenty of food and stuff for me in the meantime, and I have cash now. Tomorrow I'll be making phone calls to pain specialists, orthopedists, and psychiatrists until I can make appointments. Fascinating things are happening. And while I am no longer constantly anxious in a bad way, I am anxious about my future in a good way. Unsure of which directions I should go, trying to figure out how I want to let my new life unfurl. The roller coaster is so much smaller and not so scary now. It is going to be an amazing ride.

Well, I just proved a theory by experimenting on myself:
Certain topical botanicals and nutritional supplements really, actually do help my hair grow faster.
One month ago, I got two inches cut off my hair after having it colored with the newest color technology which promised intense vibrant color saturation. I experimented with those botanical treatments and vitamins and herbal supplements on a daily basis. One month later, my hair is three inches longer and still vibrantly colored at the ends. My roots are vibrant, too, which makes no sense, but hey, science?
Which fascinates me, because a. most human hair only grows half an inch per month and b. even though hair grows faster in warmer weather it's not by much. My personal conclusion: Three inches in a month is insane and unbelievable and kind of implausible. But I was there when it happened, whether it's true or not. I blame quantum magic.
Also, I don't know if it will work on anyone else. Maybe my success was just a weird fluke. Biology and chemistry is made of crazy weird magic.

My everything hurts and it is going to rain a lot. This happens.
"Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?" -Discord, MLP:FIM
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Discord/Gallery?image=Are_you_ready_for_some_Chaos-png
Also, John de Lancie will come back in Season 3. But shh, he didn't mean to say it.

Seriously, guys. Seriously, it is not fucking zombies. Shut the hell up, Internet. I have enough nightmares. I'm not paying attention anymore.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-face-eater-zombie-craze-proves-medias-broken/
The only zombie media I want to hear about is the "Newsflesh Trilogy" by Mira Grant. So I'll be doing my best to scroll past any other alarmist articles, posts, and pictures about flesh-rotting walking dead people. I hate media-bloated flesh-rotting walking dead people. Because screaming nightmares, that's why.

My hair is still awesome. The color is so similar to how it was in my childhood that I actually feel youthful in a way. And my shampoos have had powerful oils and botanicals that keep color sealed in. My conditioners have been body lotions and face lotions with peptides, nourishing extracts, superfruit oils, and all sorts of moisturizers and they make my hair feel like the softest silk ever. I am very happy.

My cream concealer from Lauren Brooke Cosmetiques has been making my skin feel like silk as well, and has also been fading any blemishes and pimples and such. The coverage is fantastic, the price is right, the amount of product is excellent. Etc etc. (http://www.laurenbrookecosmetiques.com/creme-concealer/ and http://www.laurenbrookecosmetiques.com/creme_foundation/)
Also, the full coverage foundation from 100 Percent Pure is also wonderful, and I actually found a cheaper place to buy it. (http://www.naturalhealthyconcepts.com/healthy-skin-foundation-cream-p-100-percent-pure.html) Yay!

Ah, MSM and Hyaluronic Acid. Awesome supplements. I've been feeding them to Adam to try and help his sacroiliitis, since the sacroiliac joint is synovial, and hyaluronic acid is found in synovial joint fluid. Hopefully the combination, plus magnesium, calcium, and vitamins, will work alongside the Aleve and Vicodin. It breaks my heart to see him in so much obvious pain.

My everything hurts and it is going to rain a lot. This happens.
"Make sense? Oh, what fun is there in making sense?" -Discord, MLP:FIM
http://mlp.wikia.com/wiki/Discord/Gallery?image=Are_you_ready_for_some_Chaos-png
Also, John de Lancie will come back in Season 3. But shh, he didn't mean to say it.

Seriously, guys. Seriously, it is not fucking zombies. Shut the hell up, Internet. I have enough nightmares. I'm not paying attention anymore.
http://www.cracked.com/blog/4-ways-face-eater-zombie-craze-proves-medias-broken/
The only zombie media I want to hear about is the "Newsflesh Trilogy" by Mira Grant. So I'll be doing my best to scroll past any other alarmist articles, posts, and pictures about flesh-rotting walking dead people. I hate media-bloated flesh-rotting walking dead people. Because screaming nightmares, that's why.

My hair is still awesome. The color is so similar to how it was in my childhood that I actually feel youthful in a way. And my shampoos have had powerful oils and botanicals that keep color sealed in. My conditioners have been body lotions and face lotions with peptides, nourishing extracts, superfruit oils, and all sorts of moisturizers and they make my hair feel like the softest silk ever. I am very happy.

My cream concealer from Lauren Brooke Cosmetiques has been making my skin feel like silk as well, and has also been fading any blemishes and pimples and such. The coverage is fantastic, the price is right, the amount of product is excellent. Etc etc. (http://www.laurenbrookecosmetiques.com/creme-concealer/ and http://www.laurenbrookecosmetiques.com/creme_foundation/)
Also, the full coverage foundation from 100 Percent Pure is also wonderful, and I actually found a cheaper place to buy it. (http://www.naturalhealthyconcepts.com/healthy-skin-foundation-cream-p-100-percent-pure.html) Yay!

Ah, MSM and Hyaluronic Acid. Awesome supplements. I've been feeding them to Adam to try and help his sacroiliitis, since the sacroiliac joint is synovial, and hyaluronic acid is found in synovial joint fluid. Hopefully the combination, plus magnesium, calcium, and vitamins, will work alongside the Aleve and Vicodin. It breaks my heart to see him in so much obvious pain.

On my way to my hair salon appointment at Congressional Plaza, I stopped at the nearby Fresh Market store, which had replaced the Whole Foods last year. I found several teas and beverages I couldn't find anywhere else, and also fresh chunky chocolate chip cookies. Also, a chicken pesto goat cheese wrap. Yay!
My hair salon appointment went wonderfully. Best haircolor decision ever. Redken Chromatics Gold Mocha Medium Brown.
http://www.1beauty.us/redken-ammonia-free-chromatics-4gm-goldmocha-medium-brown-p-2762.html








Seriously, it's like mocha with gold flecks. They say the color is multi-dimensional, which unfortunately does not mean that it gives me the power to travel to multiple dimensions. However, the colors shine like whoa. I feel like a model in a hair product advert. Best hair dye product ever.

Also? Those brushes and combs that are infused with tourmaline, ceramic, and ionic technology actually work. My hair went from frizzy and dehydrated as though I were a cat caught in a downpour, to smooth and shiny as though I'd been replaced with a multi-dimensional version of myself with permanently straight shiny silky satiny smooth glowing hair that glittered and granted wishes. No, wait, that's the silly dream I had last night.

Also: I finally found a teal eyeshadow that works for me: Hijack by Urban Decay, which is described as a metallic glittery dark teal. Which will go well with that eyeliner I found, Sapphire by Buxom, which is described as a teal indigo shade. Both products are safe for sensitive skin. I am pleased.

*pets hair* Ooh, shiny, silky...

On my way to my hair salon appointment at Congressional Plaza, I stopped at the nearby Fresh Market store, which had replaced the Whole Foods last year. I found several teas and beverages I couldn't find anywhere else, and also fresh chunky chocolate chip cookies. Also, a chicken pesto goat cheese wrap. Yay!
My hair salon appointment went wonderfully. Best haircolor decision ever. Redken Chromatics Gold Mocha Medium Brown.
http://www.1beauty.us/redken-ammonia-free-chromatics-4gm-goldmocha-medium-brown-p-2762.html








Seriously, it's like mocha with gold flecks. They say the color is multi-dimensional, which unfortunately does not mean that it gives me the power to travel to multiple dimensions. However, the colors shine like whoa. I feel like a model in a hair product advert. Best hair dye product ever.

Also? Those brushes and combs that are infused with tourmaline, ceramic, and ionic technology actually work. My hair went from frizzy and dehydrated as though I were a cat caught in a downpour, to smooth and shiny as though I'd been replaced with a multi-dimensional version of myself with permanently straight shiny silky satiny smooth glowing hair that glittered and granted wishes. No, wait, that's the silly dream I had last night.

Also: I finally found a teal eyeshadow that works for me: Hijack by Urban Decay, which is described as a metallic glittery dark teal. Which will go well with that eyeliner I found, Sapphire by Buxom, which is described as a teal indigo shade. Both products are safe for sensitive skin. I am pleased.

*pets hair* Ooh, shiny, silky...

I had a bunch of coupons and discounts for Ulta, so I went. One of the sales associates was extremely helpful with everything. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a hairbrush with copper bristles. Awesome. I adore copper. I also bought a small ionic hair dryer to use with said copper brush. I'm going to wash my hair and try out the dryer tonight. I haven't owned a hair dryer since college. I'm so used to towel and air drying my hair. This should be fun! I also purchased BareMinerals Pretty Amazing Lipcolor in Bravado (brick rose red) and Courage (warm strawberry pink). Also, I saved, like, thirty dollars on the whole purchase. I spent barely anything. I had enough left over for a chicken shawarma, a pistachio baklava, and a Turkish coffee at the nearby Lebanese restaurant. Gods, do I love Turkish coffee; sweetened and creamy, of course.

Pain levels were high due to the rain, but I was very happy to walk around as much as possible.

I had a bunch of coupons and discounts for Ulta, so I went. One of the sales associates was extremely helpful with everything. I didn't even know there was such a thing as a hairbrush with copper bristles. Awesome. I adore copper. I also bought a small ionic hair dryer to use with said copper brush. I'm going to wash my hair and try out the dryer tonight. I haven't owned a hair dryer since college. I'm so used to towel and air drying my hair. This should be fun! I also purchased BareMinerals Pretty Amazing Lipcolor in Bravado (brick rose red) and Courage (warm strawberry pink). Also, I saved, like, thirty dollars on the whole purchase. I spent barely anything. I had enough left over for a chicken shawarma, a pistachio baklava, and a Turkish coffee at the nearby Lebanese restaurant. Gods, do I love Turkish coffee; sweetened and creamy, of course.

Pain levels were high due to the rain, but I was very happy to walk around as much as possible.